21st July 2008

Woke up surprisingly refreshed and we waited until the train arrived to get off, as is the natural thing to do. Then participated in a 10min bag laden stroll in furnace-like heat to the local bus station, grabbed the 09:50 Suzhou -> Zhouzhuang bus, I bounced around the back, swimming in Charlotte's tea. At the othe rend we had a long furnace walk, with a break in for David to grab our tickets for the old town. Which gave John a chance for a little heat induced rant. Walked through the very nice and clean old town streets to our world heritage hotel, Liz and Martin got a very nice poster bed. We showered and refridgerated our souls. Had an awesome lunch, pork upper leg and a variety of dishes and mega cheap beer. Bonus points. Met David to explain the city, visited a few residences and gardens and a temple or two. Extremely hot, and at one point David led us down a fish lined street, causing poor Lydia to get into a frightful state, only for us to arrive at a fish garden.

Pretty shattered in the arvo, so Martin found a Majong set from reception, and Lydia, Liz Martin and I played in the semi-outside courtyard, Martin once more failing to win and getting frustrated with Liz's game antics much to everyone's amusement. We also found out some of Liz's shocking teaching shinanigins.

In the evening we returned to the same restuarent as it was awesome and I ate far too much by any standards. John showed off the bone and bamboo Majong set he bought for 150, with a very nice case. Gentle walk back through very quiet streets, canals looked beautiful, like a tiny venice. All the time practicing our greetings:

Zhou shan hao - Good Morning
Shou wu hao - Good Afternoon
wu shan hao - Good Evening
Ni hao - Hello

or something along those lines

20th July 2008

Up mega early as John and Martin went to crazy (and pants) sunrise. Was awake so went to internet at 7am. Noodles. Met fools. Weather cleared and we began our crazy descent down mountain, vast amounts of steps, guys carrying up furniture, exposed tofu and buildings on their backs. John and David got left behind as we all scampered hardcore style. Bought some Dove chocolate on the way for energy. Finally, hit bottom and collected bags and laundry. Private bus then took us to Tunxi, where guys got oily and salty noodles, hunted for chargers, top ups and vitamins. Got back and showered in our day room (in a purely glass shower), and then chilled in bar downstairs.

Went for a nice emo walk along the river, marvelling at the multicoloured pretty lights that lined the river banks and waterfront buildings. Walked back through town to the screams of Brand New and met the guys in our day room. Then Bus->Train Station->Train->Split up->Rice->Blam, Wham, thank you ma'am.

19th July 2008

Today, we woke up, and I ate an apple and maybe some noodles. After which, we met the rest of our crazy band of lunatics, and our laundry was't ready, so we safely left our bags in the front entrance. Then we walked to the shuttle station, where, via a series of ludicras multiple ticket shenanigans, we got on our cable car to heaven. Mist central. We then walked over the mist covered peaks of Huang Shan, beautiful but no views, and arrived at our 4 star hotel, perched high up in the clouds. Rested and ate crap for a while, before conquering some more peaks, with better views including the North Sea. Returned and had some noodles, followed by a mini hall party, and watched some very bad indian tele. Early sleep.

18th July 2008

Late get up, then 5ish hour bus ride to Hangshou mountain. On the way our engine overheated, resulting in a fountain of boiling water in the bus. Good Fun! We also weren't allowed in the national park due to a permit issue, so we had to get on a public coach that whipped crazy style round the windy, but brand new, roads. Hotel was very nice but pretty dull. Found 2 beers that weren't frozen/warm, which we had outside the Karaoke bar. After a quick word with a hotel woman about our laundry, she said that a group of chinese guys would pay our Karaoke bar entrance fee and beers if we went in. The night then spiralled out of control as a drunk Chinese man kept forcing us to down glasses of beer, culminating in Lydia claiming she was pregnant to prevent drinking anymore, the guy threatening to bop me on the nose if I didn't drink, all the time seeming not to understand we couldn't speak Chinese. Our final soltuion? To break out into insane techno dancing, which succeeded in confusing him and he was eventually escorted out. So we sidled out and ran to our rooms to call it a night. I drank lots of water and was happy I had survived.

17th July 2008

Begin the day with an amazingly large buffet breakfast, which I devoured. We met our extremely bubbly and enthusiastic local guide, Amanda, who would turn out to be our best so far. Our first port of call was the west lake itself, where we waited in slight disarray, while loads of Chinese people wanted to talk to me because, according to Amanda, I, or my hair, looked like a "playboy" from Veronica Mars.

The boat ride was nice, shame it was so misty though, Amanda said it's amazing in the spring. Still, we saw the 3 artificial islands, the famous water based pagodas, and a number of other pagodas on the surrounding mountains/hills. Our next destination was the largest Buddhist temple in China, oh and my jandals imploded much to my despair, so I wore David's. We learnt a lot about buddism, the various Buddhas, some cool cave carvings and I confirmed that I was born in the year of the OX, like my star sign, kinda. So apparently I'm stubborn squared. Or something.

We went to a farmers house for lunch, wher we somehow again managed to get a chicken smashed with a hammer. Not amused. Rest of food was nice though. Utilising the power of group decisveness, we went to a tea plantation where we got to try their finest tree for free. The Queen has had it, don't ya know. Unsurprisingly, Liz and Martin were persuaded to buy vast quantities of tea and we ran away stealthy style. Our final destination was the _____ Pagoda, which has been destroyed and rebuilt a total of 16 times. Its main prupose is to supress the dragon in the west lake, which is always a good thing. Unless it is a friendly dragon. With cooking abilities. Anyway, John, Martin and I bust up the pagoda for quite a nice view of the lake and city. Finally, we returned to the Braim Hotel and said our overally sentimental goodbyes to Amanda, who was awesome the whole time, though everyone else though she had a 'thing' for me. Due to some positive hair and teeth comments. In the evenign we went back to our favourite noodle restaurent, raided the supermarket for food supplies for the next 2 days up Hangshou. I spent about 140 yuan but did get two packets of hob nobs and some sardines!

Wandered back to hotel and participated in general kung fu searching on TV.

16th July 2008

Today I have mostly not been stationary at an early hour. Up at 6 to take a taxi to wait ages at train station for a train to Hangzhou. Not sure if I wrote the right place there, it's wherever the famous west lake is. Spent time on the train utilising the lava water and the very large seatback table to catch up with my journal. Sort of. I also drew a pirate.

Arrived in one piece after buying a wind up style torch, for 10 yuan! Bonus. Obviously Martin bought most of the man's shop, including a musical gyroscope that was expertly demonstratted. Hotel is extreme luxury, so we dumped stuff off, showered and then all met to find a Starbucks or generic alternative. Hot, lond walk ish. Near lake front. Big mocha and quiche. Poured outside. Waited. Still hot, Charlotte, Lydia and I walked around the West Lake front and lotus flowers. Melted. Went to Watsons, and then went on a long walk, via cash machines, to Foreign Languages Bookshop - massive. Amazing cafe at the top. Coffee and beef and mushroom rice. Hote walk back, and got ready. Very nice noodle restaurant, famous for helping a scholar. Very cheap beer (7) and prawn+pork noodles. YUM.

Then went to a night market while busting for the loo, and was tempted by a Hancock DVD. Didn't buy it so we went home and slept.

15th July 2008

Decided on a late wake up, met at 9 for a costa related coffee explosion. Enough caffiene to wipe out most countries. We decided our best course of action was taking the metro to Lucy Lui Street, where we could find the maglev station. The maglev connects Shanghai to Padong airport via a high speed train that hovers on magnets. Distance of around 30 km is covered in 6-8 minutes, reaching speeds of 431kph(300mph). As our resident trains potter, Martin was exceptionally excited, as was I as I tend to be about most rubbish. Return was only 80, and we zapped there and back insanely quick, with awesome banking at the curves. Inside the trains are quite plush and not overally crowded. Afer a short physics lesson, I convinced everyone that if you jumped the train wouldn't move under you, resulting in you smashing against the back wall. Afterwards Martin, John, Liz and I checked out the cheap (5) and good museum, where I completed some computer game where you have to rebuild a train.

Our next port of call was a long wander through various sky scrapers to the Chinese Sex Museum, which was a glammed up cereamics gallery. Next we took the mysterious Bund sightseeing tunnel, to the other side of the river. It was pretty bad, as you take a slow train module through a fairy light decorated, apparently brain warping, tunnel. After escaping, we fanned out and Charlotte and I got a very nice and healthy lunch in the Mojo cafe before finding the foreign languagtes bookshops and investing in some words of modern day literary genius. We wandered through the blistering heat to Regent's Park and finally to the Shanghai Art Musuem, which only contained European impressionism, which we skilled and fell into the Museum of COntemporary Art instead, rather good really, though had a bit too many art-videos which I find a bit wishy washy. Bring on Brick anyday. After discovering a cafe I could never afford, or be allowed into, we staggered back home nad got ready for the evening.

Via a chance meeting with David in the lift, he helped us to the hugh Jin Mao tower, unfortunately through the sightseeing tunnel again, as we had got return trickets. Tower was very busy but contained spectacular views of the city and was next to a huge tower that looked like a bottle opener. As normal, all the chinese tourist appeared more interested in taking photos of us rather than the view. Rather than torturing our central nervous system anymore, we took the 2 yuan ferry across teh river to admire the Bund at night. David then bundled us into two very confused taxis and we went to Vegetarian Style Life restuarant, via many red lights and death hazards. David even called as he was worried about us. Good food, we just got a big selection, no meat or alcohol, though we suspect the use of chicken stock. Metro back and sleep.

14th July 2008

• Up early for a costa breakfast (Massive black coffee)
• Meet up with David, extremely hot walk to shang hai musuem
• Massive queue, queue jumped behind another pre-booked group
• Cool museum, very arty. Calligraphy, minority dressed, coin collection.
• Ice coffee.
• Very hot, walk down Nanjing East street to the Bund for an amazing view of the skyline and crazy TV tower.
• Melted, then went to Yuyuan Bazaar, lots of old style, new shops. Largest privated owned Buddhist temple in china.
• Still mind bendingly hot. Liz and Martin got name stamps.
• Desweated.
• Met later, not John though due to minor heat stroke.
• Took metro to Acrobats
• AMAZING!
• Hoop jumping, rope craziness hat lunacy, balance shenanigans, cycling bonanza, candle balancing madness and finished with motorbike wall of death.
• Martin bought DVD.
• Home.
• Went on internet. Blam.
  

13th July 2008

• Up earlyish, Only the 3 lads at brekkie.
• Off boat. Bust to the 3 gorges Dam
• Misty. Bit dull. Model. Various sculptures including a huge book.
• Went closer to Dam
• Cool celebratory garden, big diggers and tunnel. Scuptures and best view of the dam.
• Then drove to airport via Yichang for lunch which had basically been smashed with a mallet then drowned in 2000 chillis.
• Chilled in airport. Quick flight, then bus to very nice shanghai hotel.
• Walked down the main strip. Pretty. Had a cheeky pizza in pizza hut!
• Internet was very stupid as you need your passport and many sites like facebook were blocked.
• Shanghai is awesome though, pretty lights everywhere
  

12 July 2008

• Mega Early Up
• Fought Chinese for breakfast. Very nice Dumplings
• Transfer to smaller boat, along a gorge
• Extremely misty but very pretty gorges
• Transferred to a tiny boat just for us + Lauren's group, rowed by some dudes, against stream
• At a rough part they dragged us by rope, but not before passing round firewater and loads of chinese peeps photographing us.
• After short drag, they turned us around and we zoomed back down stream, our western weight helping us along.
• Our local guide sung a few traditional songs to us.
• Back track to big boat. Sleep in the arvo
• Dinner
• David taught us Marjong. Me and Lydia on 1 team, and were awesome.
• Retired to bar area as cooler
• Watched a performance of dance
• Beer. David did Karaoke, and a random lady went up halfway through and helped him. He is the ladies man indeed. Awesome.
• Some weird musical chair game with Jackie Chan (or at least Lauren's group's guide)
• Bit of beer and dancing. Suddenly all the Chinese vanished.
• Sleep.
  

11th July 2008

• Bus to Yichang and big lunch in a hotel
• Wandered around. Coffee. Supermarket.
• Back to hotel, bus to 3 gorges and boat.
• 244 steps down to a very empty boat. Think were were very early. Very misty.
• Room was awesome for a boat, private bathroom, and a TV etc.
• Not sure if we had food, but we had a few beers in Liz and Martin's room. Lauren appeared for a bit.
  

Thursday 10th July 2008

• Cookery course
• Went to the market, which had dogs (blowtorched, some alive in tiny cages, and half of a dog's head on a table), pig tongues and snouts, chicken feet etc. Lots of veg. Our chef lady bought supplies and explained the various foods.
• Back to restaurant
  

Cooked:
* Gun Pou Chicken (Peanuts)
* Pork dumplings (I wasn't too great at their presentation)
* Veg and Noodles

• We got cool chef hats and aprons, and a HUGE knife.
• Liz and Charlotte cooked a veg selection, including awesome deep friend eggplant.
• Was surprisingly nice and I ate far too mcuh.
• Short break, coffee + cafe. Hot.
• Calligraphy lesson
• Learnt numbers 1-10. Progression of characters Wood>Tree>Forest.
• Wrote my name, which translated to Basic, Success, Kind.
  
• Everyone else's was way better

Liz: White Beautiful Lady Nice
Martin: Success, Clever
Lydia: Wealth, Wisdom
Charlotte: Summer, Water, Knowledge

• Took a private bus to station and then the overnight train to somewhere near the 3 gorges and the Yangzi river. Nice again. Good sleep.
  

Wednesday 9th July 2008

• No surprises that we were up early again.
• This was mainly for our Tai chi lesson, that was pretty good, and taught us the correct way to hold watermelons.
• Hired bikes and a local guide to cycle to moonhill.
• Very scenic, paddy fields and mini-mountains.
• I had an awesome red and yellow mountain bike, lydia and charlotte had crazy pink girlie bikes.
• Big River.
• Reached moon hill then had insane climb to the top
• 'step to the moon'
• Loads of wet, slippery steps. Was shattering. Old women followed us all the way up trying to sell things.
• Finally got to top without death. Very sweaty. Lauren and group were at the top. Big natural rock arch, looks like a crescent moon from below. We rested a while.
• Headed back down. I went down chattering inanely to an old chinese woman, as I was worried I would "jandal-slip" to death. She offered to hold my hand all the way down, and thought Charlotte was my wife. Nope impressed when we didn't buy anything from her at the end!
• Ate awesome meal cooked by farmer's family, big shovvling of food situation. Then it poured with torrential rain.
• Double ponchoed up. Charlote got a flat tire. Cute dog and ducks at fixing place, probably for eating.
• May have eaten Beer Fish. Slight situation with Lydia being petrified of fish.
• In evening saw amazing light show designed by same guy as the Beijing Olympic ceremony. Better than Disney.
• EPIC.
  

Tuesday 8th July

• Arrived in Yangshuo
• Sort life and soul out
• Walked around town and grabbed lunch
• Bus down to river for river cruise on smallish boat
• As we got on, HUGE thunderstorm erupted, the very fabric of this ethereal world shook around us!
• Front window of the boat swung shut and smashed over David!
• Hard to see much, but there was nice scenery somewhere
• Various boat leaks
• Went ashore, old village/hamlet. Temple
• Short hike to 3 coloured pools. Only saw one because of rain, it was of the infamous colour "murky".
• Cobbled streets and classic chinese architecture provided a very slippery environment. Lydia's flip flops broke and David came to the rescue.
• Nice views from top. Very long boat trip back
• In the evening went to see the fisherman fish with cormorants.
• Tie off their necks, so they can't swallow the big fish, and so they swim close to the boat and dive under to grab fish. They seemed happy enough as they were eating just about all the fish anyway, or had indeed learned to just go for the small fish.
• Dude let one sit on my arm. Only got 2 fish between 8 birds, mainly because of their hungry hungry tummies.
• Ate a nice dinner at the Movie Cafe Blues
• They sold dog and bamboo rat but was insanely expensive in relation to everything else. Very nice local beer though and our beds were comfy.
  

7th July 2008

• Lydia, Charlotte, John and I woke up earlish and made our way to the Avenue of Stars
• Fell into the Pacific Coffee Company. Mocha, ham/cheese croissant, coffee.
• General chatting and free internet use.
• Picked up laundry from Chumpking mansions.
• Sorted my toiletry situation, though shop had nothing that men could use to clean themselves. VO5 shampoo it is.
• Back to hotel. Lauran's group there. They crammed 9 in 2 taxis, but we put 6 in 3! Lunacy.
• MRT to border. Bust through border control, though Charlotte was held at passport control for ages.
• Waited a while in train station, then we were in China!!
• On train. Very nice. Frilly. 6 bed. Chat to guy who let David have the bed near us.
• Lights out at 10! Had surprisingly nice pot noodle alternative. All got caught out by lights off time.
• Kids crazy. I had the middle bed and could stretch legs out partially into the aisle. Very comfy duvet.
  

Sunday 6th July 2008

• Ellen & Harriot said goodbye.
• Bust out and bumped into Lauren outside lift.
• Both starving so we hit up Irish pub
• Underground, uber nice. Guinness and steak pie!!!
• Got my local payment. Max out bank.
• Taxis avec Charlotte and Lauren to new hotel @ 12.
• Very swanky. TV, Sofa, Awesome. Roommate not there yet.
• Walked in rain quite a distance down Nathan street to find Toilet cafe.
• Awesome.
• Seats are toilets, urinals on walls a decoration, food came in toilets, yummy and cheap.
• Humourous poo lights and souvenirs. Great find, courtesy of Charlotte's cafe 6th sense.
• Afterwards I found crazy hairdresser, not much English, had hair washed and not too crazy cut, with layers apparently. Only 90 HKD.
• Tried to meet Charlotte in Temple Street, drowned. Very wet, Hotel. Watched American Dragon. Met John. Safe.
• Met group, cool, meeting, David is our guide and seems good
• Went for dinner. Yummy Udon noodles again.
• Wandered streets a bit, stock up on food, slept.
  

5th July 2008

• Faffed loads in the morning.
• Took metro to Admiral, got lost.
• Went in the posh Palace Shopping Mall, where there was a tuxed out guy on the piano
• Walked to and through the very nice Hong Kong park, which had many a water feature.
• Got to peak tram station, skipped the huge line with my octupus card.
• After the insanely steep train ride, got to the top, scampered up loads of escalators.
• Amazing views of Hong Kong and surrounding area. Very hot.
• Generally wandered around Central and the IPC.
• Went back after food and failing to see a film at the cinema, so admired my blonde hair, which is crazy and slept.
  

4th July 2008

• Up. Internet. Food.
• Wander to dock
• Offered drugs as normal.
• Nice dock.
• Walked along the Avenue of Stars, enjoying the skyline of Hong Kong Island.
• Went in the art museum, a bit empty, but was a cool exhibition on modern digital art and I scammed the woman into giving me a student admission.
• Carried on along Avenue of Stars, cool statues related to film and Bruce Lee.
• Lots of famous Chinese and Hong Kong movie stars, and cement hand imprints. Jet Li, Jackie Chan, John Woo, Chow Yung Fat.
• Pacific Coffee Company!
• Mongkok. Wander around. Got a bit lost.
• Crappy computer shopping centre
• Buy cool dual sim phone. K-Touch D770
• Meet girlies, and went to a Cat Cafe. Took forver to get cookie and hot chocolate, not great and expensive. But there were cats all over the place, scratching up the leather furniture.
• Went to get visa. Woo! Got it. So did Charlotte.
• Met others for a beer on Avenue of Stars. Sunset.
• Wedges. Light show to music. Okay, and little band playing on the front.
• Went to crappy restaurant.
• Soho for a drink or two.
• Slept.
  

3rd July 2008

In an unsure state of mind (slightly panicing), I got up early and found the internet again, possibly booked a flight and my accommodation, though visa website scared me with no same day visas. Checked out and then tried to find some way to get to the ferry terminal. The hotel guy was my saviour once more, and after failing to get a taxi he took me to where the casinos have free shuttles to their locations, so I hopped into the Sands bus. After a medium boiling walk to the terminal past a number of amazing casinos, some in the shape of volancos and castle, I grabbed some sarnies and bought tickets to Kowloon. Waited in the “departure” lounge after being allowed through passport control. The ferry was quite fast to Hong Kong and I was on the top deck, mostly to myself, though they food people wouldn't take Macau money.

Arrived, with slight confusion, and took a taxi to Chumpking mansions. Urgh. Apparently I didn't have a reservation, and was giving some form of converted janitors cupboard in Tom's Guesthouse not much wider than my armspan. Stormed out, eventually found a net cafe to print out all my Chinese details, including a possible forgery of my departing flight confirmation. In the Visa agent I had to pay £156 to get my visa ready in time, though I did help her with her LG viewty, so I think she thought I was alright after initial reservations. Grabbed the awesome tube system to central, and ate Pret a Manger. mmmm. Met Holly and Lauren, had drinkies and got to finally relax after a large amount of stress and anxiety. Said bye bye, went to a big shopping centre called IPF or IPC. Shops, food and Pacific Coffee Company. Faffed, I regret I had Maccy D's, went back home to sleep and die a little bit.

2nd July 2008

Possibly the most tiring, hectic and crazy airport tomfoolery to date, after spending the night on a night train from Sapa, which felt like the equivalent of trying to sleep in the Antarctic during a 9.0 rated earthquake, Steph and I arrived in Hanoi. After saying our goodbyes, I got in a taxi, only to discover you need to show your train ticket on exiting the train station. Failing to find Steph who had our tickets, I had to bribe the woman at the gate with 15,000 dong. Trying to relax on the way, I couldn't get any of the seat belts to do up and the meter was going up at an alarming rate. Finally arrived, paid far too much and had no money left, bust out 100,00 from a cash point, then discovered I couldn't check in yet (as it was 5.30am) and nothing was open. Vegetated for a while.

At 6am the “lucky restaurant” opened up, and I got glared at viciously and was seemingly told how I should eat my chicken, pork and noodle soup. Coffee was like tar. Tar of death. Check in appeared to be open, queued and nothing happened for a while, then when I reached the desk, my bag was apparently 2kg over, even though it was the same weight as last time I flew air Asia. She initially tried to convince me to take 2kg out, but I had no idea where I would put it, so I had to pay $5 per kg. Obviously I didn't have enough, so had to use the ATM, which was now broke, so panicking slightly, I went for my emergency $100 bill. But couldn't find my padlock key, this kids, is why you should never lose your combination lock.

After a few minutes of emptying my day bag all over the terminal, I found the key, stormed back to the check in counter and slammed down my passport and money. Sorted it, bust on upstairs to a café that had internet and tried to book my Japan flight with not much luck. Went to security check, where the guy wouldn't believe I was the person in my passport and had to get another guy, who I had to lift up my flowing locks to, to reveal my facial features. Surprisingly, I wasn't frisked and walked into the mostly empty departure lounge, where I remembered I was lacking any North Vietnam magnets, so exchanged some dollar for goods, and asked when flight boarding was, flashing my Xpress boarding ticket.

Sat down smugly while everyone else was forming a massive queue and then had awesome rock star treatment as air hostess invited just me to get on the plane, so I walked past the line with a triumphant smirk. Plane ride was fine, slight nap, then chatted to an American girl while filling in my departure card wrong. More dollar was spent on baguette and P-Max.

Arrived safely and got all baggage easily, then spent the next 6 hours, eating pad thai, drinking starbucks, wandering, being charged for 3kg over the limit, writing my journal, marvelling at the departure side stops and using the very cheap internet booths. I think our plane was delayed, I got the superstar treatment again, used my special power that stops people sitting next to me and ate a surprisingly nice chicken fried rice with P-Max. Landed in Macau, bust on through, got a taxi from a guy who knew no Englsh, but got to hotel alright. Very posh looking hotel. Spent hours trying ti find an internet café via the reception dude's very vague directions of swimming his arm in a 60degree arc and telling me to walk for 2 minutes. Was no use anyway, the places that had internet I thought were just arcades for the first 2 hours. They turned out to be underground dens of 200 computers with loads of teens in their all night.

I spent the time there basically panicking as I couldn't book a flight out of china and all info pointed towards I Was screwed to get my visa in time. I decided to collapse in a bath and ignore my lack of dinner before hitting the sack at 1.30am.

1st July 2008

• Woke up not too bad, huge breakfast. Ham and Cheese croissant, and omellette.
• Debs and I met our dude and driver. Mini Van to ourselves
• Scenic drive up to Thun Tui pass
• Stopping everyone now and then for photo ops.
• At top got out with bikes and began sailing down mountain.
• Awesome roads. Amazing scenery, very wet.
• Began to freeze, soaked, got back in van.
• Turned up in town, looked around market, got a poncho, wet.
• Dude smoke tobacco out of crazy pipe.
• Went to a small road and took bike down paddy fields.
• Manic water buffalo. Meep.
• Kids laugh at me. "How many 100kgs does he weight?"
• Cycle across bridge down crazy mud slope and stream.
• Cycled up a hill for very pretty view.
• Down to village, saw house.
• Women hounded debs to buy skirt
• Cycle back.
• Lunch on bus back
• Waterfall
• Back. Shower. Sad Goodbye
• Bus. Train. Death.
  

30th June 2008

• Arrived in Sapa. Haggled a bus to Sapa itself.
• Very early, battle for hotel. $9 for 3 peeps!
• Nap. Internet.
• Went for wander. Tribes people. Chocolat and Baguette
• Food and drink.
• Book bike ride to Thun Tui Pass for Debs and I
• Wander through town. Debs mobbed by tribes peeps. Funny.
• Went to lake with old tribes lady still following us. Very beautiful (the view not the lady)
• No ATMs in Sapa work with Cirrus cards.
• Resign to a beverage seller. Beer. Debs had Rice wind?!
• Pool
• Check out top of a hill while dark, but not see much. Due to the dark.
• Back to hotel. Get ready.
• Bust out to a small bar, nice. Local beer.
• Chatted with the Singaporean manager.
• Failed to find curry house, turns out manager owns it. Currently a shell.
• Went to his pizza place. Pizzas forgot to come. Free olives. Free Beer. 10% off.
• Went to Tu Bar. Debs and I playe darks.
• Steph talked to Irish dude who said he'd take her to pass on bike.
• Shot sambuca
• Sleep.
  

29th June 2008

• Early rise, swim, brekkie, lost kite wood.
• Got on boat to Cat Bah island. Looked bad.
• Very busy and touristic.
• Took bus to a hospital (old) built into a huge cavern.
• Very cool, guy sung a random Ho Chi Minh song.
• Waited for bus and got on our cool mountain bikes.
• Very hot. Great scenery.
• Huge hill. Made it to top without stopping.
• Pee in bus. Look up. HUGE spider
• Break. Drink 27 gallons of water.
• Steph and 1 or 2 others got on bus. Rest of us battled on.
• Awesome down hill section to big flat plain
• Stop for wikked lunch, loads of food. Ate half the world.
• Bus to port.
• Comfy speed boat.
• Long 3 hour bus ride back
• Debs + Zen + Brand New!
• Train not booked.
• Steph lost her card in a cash machine
• Vegas Travel, $26. Overnight train to Sapa.
• Tricked into Vege Handspan restaurant.
• Wolfed down sarnies
• Late, Taxi, Train
• 4 bed soft sleeper to ourselves. Nice.
  

28th June 2008

• Early up, swim
• Others late, eventually got on boat. Just us 3 and Brent and Wendy
• Apparently, Flip Flops are okay for hiking. Tired and sleepy.
• Captain made beds for us 3 inside. Slept.
• On mainland. Walk 6km or so through very nice mountainous surroundings.
• National Park.
• Village. Dogs and Ducks and very loud Karaoke?!
• Lunch. Lyches and ants dumped on table
• Can't be bothered to hike and wet and only have flip flops
• Man of family invites us in for drinks.
• Muh, Ho, Baht, Jew. or 1, 2, 3, Drink
• Crazy strong rice wine made from suspicious things from the forest.
• Guy obsessed with drinking
• Brent bought some
• Hire motorbike and drive to go back
• Steph fell off while stationary!
• Tunnel flooded, took boat back with beer. Apparently m voice is nice and calming?!
• Debs drove boat, as did drunk Brent
• Shattered. Dinner on outcast table
• Doze on loungers. Sleep death.
  

27th June 2008

After finding the wrong Ocean Tours office, the lovely lady came and got our wandering souls and gave us a yummy cup of tea. Seems very professional, we were given free tea, shown an alternative more active tour we could do (which turned out to be cheaper due to a promo) and Debs and I got some bread from the bakery. All crammed a bit tightly into a mini van, everyone else a bit older than us but they seemed alright. Waited at the port for a bit, tried to see if the old gang were here, but no luck, so we all got aboard our junk, a triple decker wooden boat where some people were going to stay on for the night. Sat with a dutch and german for lunch, though we bumped around the harbour for ages, and another junk ploughed into us with a crunch but no one seemed too concerned. Lunch was a seafood concoction, without much allowance for vegetarians but was yummy. The german (Thomas) and I ate most of the food really. After some chatting, the boat departed towards the bay and island, we finished the bottle of cheap Vietnamese wine we got (Dalat) and sun bathed for a short while on top as we were shattered as normal.

Junk was amazingly quiet and we drifted slowly past looming rocky green islands and amongst other junks onwards. We pulled up amongst some island to do some sea kayaking, everyone had tandem kayaks except me who was solo. We went through limestone caves and tunnels to tranquil sea lagoons, surround on both sides by island hills and watched some colourful and quite large jellyfish scuttle past. Needles to say, Debs and Steph crashed their kayak on a number of occasions, including into the limestone tunnel! After successfully climbing back aboard the junk, only slightly breaking it and spoiling Debs' “You've Bee Framed” photo opportunity, we headed to our resort, which turned out to be on our very own island with only a few bungalows on!

• Free Tea
• Nice bungalow, single bed
• Swim
• Met with others for dinner
• Yummy. Yorkshire couple, Brent and Wendy
• Happy hour, drink wine, vodbull
• Karoke
• Manhood and T. T-Hood. 3am.

26th June 2008

Woke up at stupid o'clock to get our DMZ tour bus at 6am. The 5km wide DMZ each side of the Ben Hai River split Vietnam into the Republic of Vietnam (south) and the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. During the American war it became one of the most militarised zones in the world, still with more than 3 million mines and 350,000 to 800,00 tonnes of unexploded ordinance. The day mainly consisted of vast amounts of driving, interspersed by a few sites and food stops:

Highway 9 (part of the Ho Chi Min Trail):

1. 1.The Rock Pile: exactly what it says on the tin, but used to have a US Marine Corps bas on it
2. 2.Dakrong Bridge: a pretty suspension bridge, old bridge was part of Ho Chi Minh Trail.
3. 3.Khe Senh Base: Site of controversial and famous siege. Recreated bunkers, a tank and some US helicopter are there, which I'm sure the US went back. Also a propaganda filled memorial museum as well as a guest book full of controversial opinions.

Highway 1A:

1. 1.Truong San National Cemetery: or at least it might have been.... up a series of steps is a large statue honouring the women of the wars.
2. 2.Vinh MOC tunnels: Highlight of the day, larger than the Chu Chi tunnels (width wise) we spent a good 20 min exploring, popping up at the beach and in the forest. Crazy guy who was born in the tunnels was also there and loved having his photo taken a bit too much. In total 7 people were born in the tunnels and are all still alive now. Only once did a bomb score a direct hit, and it failed to explode, so the hole was used as an air vent.

Showed off my bargaining skills much to the amazement of some tourist, basically walked past a whole line of sellers and just let the price keep dropping from 20 until it hit 5. Classic.

We then had a 3 hour bus journey back and I unleashed my Zen to Debs, though mainly the Eels who we all know are excellent. Arrived back around 6.30pm and mainly tried to sort out a Halong Bay tour for tomorrow morning!? Finally got one for $145 from a recommended company: Ocean Tours, but ran out of time for food. Hotel screwed up our taxi to airport and I was a bit terse with them, finally sorted, lept on plane, only 1 hour 20min, got taxi into central Hanoi, got mad at driver for taking us to a hotel opposite side of Hanoi from where we wanted and he finally took us there. Wandered around a bit with an annoying hotel guy pestering us, so went in a random hotel to spite him. Cheap but room was so high we were basically in Zeus's lap. We were all starving but were locked in the hotel and no food was on sale. Resorted to booking Sapa train then crashing out for ANOTHER early start tomorrow.

25th June 2008

After a moderately early rise, we managed to find a cafe that was nice, but had no electricity, for a continental breakfast. We trekked across the Trang Tien Bridge in the baking sun to reach the edge of The Citadel, where we crossed the moat in a rather narrow bike filled tunnel. Admired the tallest flagpole in Vietnam (at 37 metres it isn't that big) as well as the 9 holy cannons (representing the 4 seasons and 5 elements). Bursting forth into the Imperial enclosure, and scaling the main gate, who did we bump into, but the intrepid Vietnam group. We complained about the heat with them for a while before they had to scoot off to get the train to Hanoi. We watched some Chinese tourist blatantly disobeying some “do not touch” signs and then pushed further into the enclosure, after feeding the fish, towards the Thai Hoa Palace, passing a man riding an elephant. The palace itself was quite small and a bit bare, but was made from some rather ornate timber. Out the back is a courtyard with 2 halls of the mandarins either side and sleeping man. Avoiding the very touristic dress up photo opportunity.

To the back of the court was the ruins of the Can Cah Palace and The Forbidden Purple City, reserved for personal use by the emperor and looked like a cross between ruins, a construction site and an abandoned festival venue. Most of the Imperial Enclosure is currently going through a 35 year restoration project, which may involve completely rebuilding of many things. You may be wondering why the citadel of Vietnam's previous capital city is demolished, well if you look closely you can still see the American and French bullet holes. Wandering around the lazy builders, in the boiling heat, we came out to the back of the enclosure by the beautiful lily pond moat. WE continued our random wanderings in a clockwise direction and I fell down a hole, but pulled off an elegant crumble to my knees. Found a random house which had an island gaarden, with an overgrown shrine amongst all the rubble. All the roads between the overgrown ruins, which incidentally, are baren of tourists, are pristine and well maintained. We clambered skillfully over a random bridge and played with some weeds/flowers that close when touched. Next was the renovated Royal Theatre, which was quite elaborate but we were at the wrong time for any performances. More temples in the form of the Thai To Mieu Temple Complex and we passed the front gate to continue onto the To Mieu Temple, where we all nearly died from heat exhaustion, especially Steph, so we haggled some water and ice cream and cooled down. Then I got tranquilly lost from the other two in Phung Tren Temple and the beautiful Dien Tho Residence. Finally say the under construction Truong San Residence and left the Imperial enclosure via the rear, wandered the citadel streets, where we were never harassed and it seemed more local. Walked besides the beautiful Tinh Tam Lake, then found an LP recommended restaurant, by which point Steph was feeling awful. Restaurant was not only racist (only Vietnamese were allowed upstairs) but food was dull, Debs “mixed veg” had just 1 veg and the ginger tea was made with a tea bag. Pants.

Checked out the dire (and closing) General Museum complex and Museum of Royal Fine Arts, before going across the river and stopping in another LP suggested café, where I promptly ate vast amounts (Chinese fried rice and chips) and felt like I was going to explode. Headed back to hotel where Steph went to nap and recover, while Debs and I hired bikes and made the perilous and darkening journey to Thein Mu Pagoda. Where we got there it was just about pitch black, but we wandered around the eerily quiet and empty pagoda grounds before watching lightening from the Perfume River front. Cycling back was fun as we had no lights and no street lamps, so we just tail gated a scooter and used their light. Went in the trusty Sinh Cafe and booked a demilitarised zone tour for tomorrow, before heading back, grabbing Steph, possibly some food and some sleep.

24th June 2008

After waking far too early, to check out, we skipped and hopped down to the Hai Scout cafe to begin our cookery class. Relaxed, woke up and enjoyed our free drink (lassi all the way) and chatted to a random American guy who taught in South Korea for 2.5 years. The group of around 18 was split into 3 groups and our guide showed us around the central market, explaining veg, showing us the meat section (with unfathomable pots of boiling gruel) and trying to sell us strange yet effective Kitchen utensils. After following our infuriatingly slow and slightly spaced out guide, we met up with the others and took the red bridge boat along the river to the red bridge cooking school, past fishing nets and other boaters.

Instantly thrown into the fray, we took our seats in front of a work surface and large roof mounted mirror, where our charismatic, comical and possibly drunk chef was introduced to us. Initially a salad type food creation was demonstrated, followed by aubergine in clay pot, which we then went to our work stations and made, with some annoying aussie kid dropping the clay pot and burning himself. Swapping back and forth between demonstrations and cook stations, we made:

• Rice paper (on steaming cotton) and used it to make yummy fresh spring rolls
• Hoi An pancakes with shrimp/green leaf in rice paper, Debs had mushroom, she tells me to write.
• Vietnamese plate decoration, where we did something fancy with a cucumber and made tomato roses

We departed our watefront covered cookery base and headed into the main restaurant/bar/cafe to eat chef prepared food that we were shown today and a noodle fish dish as well. Mega full up at the end as we ate what we made as we went along as well. Following some confusion, we got a taxi back to our slinky hotel and took the 3 hour bus to Hue.

On arrival we got swamped by hotel people and I spent the next 30 minutes running around various hotels, comparing rooms with some lunatics, being kicked in jest on the arse, and finally deciding on a very big room with 3 near double beds for $15. We then collapsed completely and relaxed, watching snakes on a place before going for a late tea near the other backpacking area which was a bit disappointing.

23rd June 2008

After an all you can eat buffet style food fest for breakfast, where I naturally overfed myself, we headed out to start the LP walking tour of Hoi An. We then were reduce to a puddle of sweat instantly and found out that the traditional cultural performance doesn't show on Mondays, so our ticket was basically entrance to a shop at the Handicraft Workshop, housed in a 200 year old trading house of a Chinese Merchant. We saw some people pottering and painting, and I got semi-molested by a chinese tourist. Next stop, at the real start of the LP:WT, was the Tran Family Chapel, built in 1802. A nice woman took us around, and we threw ying/yang coins. You get 3 goes, and if you get 1 as ying and 1 as yang you get good luck. Debs: Bad Luck. Steph: Good Luck (after 2 goes). Tom: Mega bonus luck on first go! House was nice, though half the rooms had things for sale, including ying/yang coins, but they were copper so I'd turn green.

On to the museum of trading ceramics, an exciting excursion into the sublimely illuminating world of broken platers, though the restored house it was set in was nice. Past a few more buildings and we got to the Assembly Hall of the Fujian Chinese Congregation, which is pretty stunning and they had turtles in one of their ponds! After a bit more intense sunshine, we got to the Quan Cong temple, which sneakily led on to the Hoi An Museum of History and Culture, and more turtles. Carried on following the LP:WT away from town, checking out a bookshop, then looping back past some colonnaded French buildings where I haggled for a DC and I was informed about the Miss Universe competition for the 5th time.

Gazed out from the Cam Nam bridge, down the river, before making our way through the Central Market, past all the same-same stalls, and I got laughed at then hit by an old lady, in what I assume was jest. Then some woman said I needed a haircut and we burst free, back on the streets. Having met Harriot and Charlotte earlier, which I failed to mention, we went to a recommended garden cafe with artie sculptures, no menus, but nice mango shakes. Now in the Alpen cafe for lunch, after Debs got sucked into the tailors against her will.

22nd June 2008

Woke up surprisingly chipper after staying out till 3.30am or some irresponsible hour, and having missed our haggled free breakfast, we just collapsed in/beside the pool. Swam and chatted until I went prunie, played on the net, then after a series of showers we went and booked our extravagantly priced cooking course for Tuesday at 8am. As hunger striked we went to a café which was dubbed “Alpen” restaurant, due to its excessive Aplen stock. After an awesome pork and cashew nut extravaganza I had a baguette. Yums! Steph went to get MORE stuff done in the tailors and we bumped into Lauren, Holly, Ellen and Emily unsurprisingly. After about 15 min of soul death on my part we all bundled into cargo café and I got my tea on. Feeling guilty over our lack of productivity we hired bikes off a dodgy man for 50p each and cycled across the bridge to the Hoi An peninsula and made a few locals laugh with our tom-foolery. Very nice there, though smaller than we thought, general houses and the river really. Got chatting to a Vietnamese girl, when we stopped for photos, about the soon arriving Miss Universe competition in Hoi An. Could explain the excessive road resurfacing and the tar all over my feet last night. Steph then went off once more to the tailors, so Debs and I cycled with crazy motorbikes and cars to the beach 4km away. Nice ride along the river, past houses, hotels, rice fields, until we randomly appeared at the beach where we got charged 10,000 to park our bikes! Spent the next 10 minutes bartering the price of a tiny kite with a shop guy, and we walked on the totally crammed by lovely beach. A minute walk led us to a deserted section, past the beach rugs for rent. Paddled and played with a crab while Debs constructed her kite, only to find, humourously, that the string was only 1 metre long and kite just span in circles. Watched the sky burst into a thousand shades of nuclear winter before releasing our night time cycling predicament. Avoiding various lanterns, BBQs, scampering children and old ladies selling unidentifiable food products, we found our way back to our non-stolen bikes and were promptly mocked by some kids. Survived the cycle back under motorbike light and was quite enjoyable, especially with the breeze. Collapsed in hotel, waited for Steph to get back and researched flights from Hanoi to Hong Kong. Cheapest way is Air Asia Hanoi to Bangkok, then after a 6 hour wait, flight to Macau (another odd province of China, like HK, but Portugues). Saves me $260, which is awesome, and with Air Asia, so not bad. Chinese visa should only take 2-3 days, and loads of peeps like Harriot, Charlotte, Ellen, Lauren x2 and Holly are going to be in town. Also Charlotte is going to be on the same China intrepid tour I just booked, woo! AND will hopefully go to Japan with me. Annie might be in Japan as well. Bonus!

Anyway, we went out to the LP recommended restaurant 96, where I had the local Cao Lau dish, cooked with water from the Buy Le Well. Also had White Rose Shrimp and Prawn in Rice paper, which was alright but also a local speciality. Now chillaxing in Tam Tam Cafe, with vast quantities of green tea. Awesome. History and Culture tomorrow.

21st June 2008

Arrived at station at 10.30am, and took a taxi to Hoi An past marble mountain and china beach. Dude dropped us off and bargained with loads of hotels along the same street before settling on an amazing hotel with pool, aircon ensuite, etc for $21 between us a night, very close to centre as well. We had a shower etc before heading out to wander around, and bumped into Annie and Tereasa. Went to a tailors, that Hoi An is famous for, steph started her spending spree, and we saw others there. Weather was insanely baking, drank 4 litres of water, and steph somehow stood on a cat. Met others in “Then and Now” for charlottes birthday, there was an awesome cake and we gave her a card. Went to a beach drinking place. Alcohol. Russians watching the football, we did dancing, people broke glass. Took the bus home.

20th June 2008

Early check out. Breakfast. Hired Boat with Debs. Snorkelled around an island, breathed in sea. Wandered around island a bit. Went to fishing village after some lost in translation action. Dinner. Cafe Des Amis. Massive strawberry ice cream, awesome. Taxi to train station to go to Denang.

19th June 2008

Scammed by Taxi. Checked into Hotel. Slept. Walked along front. Bumped into Harriot and Charlotte. Breakfast. Others came along. Bookshops. Jpod. All arvo on beach. Nice. Train station hell trying to get ticket, people helped us. Mad Kim for really good pizza and cocktails. Bought some snorkels from convenience store for cheap. 11Pm sleep.

18th June 2008

Chu Chi tunnels. Train ticket. Goodbye lunch with Jess and Phil. Burger. Wander old town. Shops. Cofee. Soco cafe. Met Jerry. Talked with students. Etc. Train at 11pm overnight to Nha Trang

17th June 2008

5am brekkie. Boat to meet tour group. 3 hour boat trip to cai ran floating market. Rice mill. Fruit orchard. Eat fruit. Boat broke. Boat to lunch in Can Toe. Bus -> Vinh Lang. Market or cafe. Cafe. Ferry to Ceibe. Bus to Ho Chi Min. Mexican for Phil and Jess good bye. Cocktails. Go to bar. Shattered

16h June 2008

Mekong delta tour with Sinh Cafe. Khai Pe Floating market. Coconut candy making. Rice paper making. Lunch. Chatted with a couple. Traditional music, bit meh. On boat. Vinh Lang. Ferry across. Can Toe. Taxi to homestay. Mega nice. Took his own boat to paddy field. Steph fell over in the paddy field, much hilarity. Back. Dinner. Cards. Beer. Bed

15th June 2008

Check out. Bye to everyone. Check in to dorm. Lunch: highland coffee, local market. Walk around. Highland coffee. Notre Dame. Post Office. Hostel. Little street food. Tired. Crashed out.

14th June 2008

• Vietnam, 7 hour trip. Border
• Lunch noodle soup. Coffee shop. Hostel and mekong delta booking.
• Debs ill. Little street Mexican. Blue Gecko bar.
• No night club. No dancing

13th June 2008

• Tuoul Sleng museum.
• Killing fields Museum
• Killing Fields.
• Russian Market
• Coffee shop.
• Boxing on TV.
• Group dinner.
• Sofa
• DVD, charades.

12th June 2008

Took the morning bus to Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh, checked into the “fancy guest house”, and went for a group meal in another place that helps handicapped people. Yummy pork burger, though waited ages for it, and as the group's food hoover, everyone was worried I'd waste away. Returning to properly shoe up, we headed to the Royal Palace, which was surrounded by dragonflies. The palace and ground was very similar to the Thai royal palace, even with a small emerald buddha. The so called silver pagoda, looked like load of dirty floor tiles. Unfortunately, my camera and phone ran out of battery near the end, but it was all good. Debs, Phil and I then tired to find a hammock bar, but gave up pretty quickly and returned home.

Group dinner on water front to help orphans, they even had a toddle there who was just dumped at their door. She was v.cute though. Food was nice, had a meat filled pizza. Pete then took some of us to mango bar across town, where we had a few chilled drinks.

11th June 2008

Weather not great today, but 8 or so of us took tuktuks down to the quiet local beach, which took ages to get to, contrary to Pete's predictions once more. Went along very rough roads past some apparently slums and burst out next to a number of bars with sun loungers and no people. Sat inside as it began to rain and Debs, Norman and I swam in the sea for ages, going quite prunie. Then our tuk tuks arrived and we met the others (apart from Karl ) in Starfish Cafe all afternoon. BLT and Tea.

Bought Jane Eyre in a bookshop, found that Karl slept till 4pm, then we all went to a mexican, played darts, with Lauren A pulling a clever maths trick on Karl. A core few of us then said an emotional goodbye to Norman as we released him to the even crashing ocean. Then Sleep.

10th June 2008

Went on an organised boat trip to the islands, though it appears Sarah's phone was stolen from her room last night. Split into 2 groups on two boats and we set off towards an island to snorkel around. Which I really enjoyed and Debs and I were in ages as most other people went in, then injured themselves on coral, fish and sharks or something. Lauren A got a sea urchin right in her toe! Can't pull it out as will break up, very painful for her. Others had lots of coral scratches. Not sure how they managed it, though a few points I did nearly get trapped amongst rocks and coral. We all scrambled aboard and went to another island where we landed, some peeps lay on the beach and harriott, Charlotte, Jess and I threw a frisbee in the sea and discussed Cambodian politics. Then the sky began to empty on us and we ran for shelter and kebab lunch. After learning that big craps are worth $10, Lauren A and I went hunting for them, and after failing for about an hour we caught one by caking it in sand. It was very small though, so we kept it in the pasta bucket. Some chillin later I Got restless and looked for another crab, debs helped and after chasing one for a while I managed to pick it up by it's shell, though not before another one stabbed me. Anyway, we now had Harry and Sally, though they didn't really take a liking to each other, so we emptied them into the wet and set said for the mainland. On the boat back we discovered that a shell I found in my pcoket contained a hermit crab who we named Norman. On land again we took a jeep back to the hotel, where Pete held on to me a bit too sensually. Hit up a Japanese restaurant, where I had a v.nice chicken with specialist Japanese sauce, with rice. We all retired with pete to the monkey republic for drinks, then a few of us played pool in poco loco until 3/4am as debs wouldn't let us stop till girls won (Karl and I v phil, debs and jesse). They never won. Will be tired tomorrow.

9th June 2008

Long bus ride to soloukiville, beach place. Had lunch, walked to the beach, chilled amongst selling peeps, internet book shop. Relaxed, napped and watched tele until group meal in v.nice Japanese restaurant followed by poko loco next to hotel. Pool bar. Good fun.
Sleep.

8th June 2008

Coach to Phnom Penh. Stopped in shopping centre for 2 hours, had awful fast food chicken teriaki wrap, supermarket for snackeroos. Man stared at my junk while I went to loo. Looked at some humourous books (How To Be A Sensual Woman). Back to coach, long drive to homestay. 3 dorms, Karl and I had 1 to ourselves, I got a bright pink double bed. Chilled in hammocks then played hacky sack type game for ages and pete tried to get everyone to dance as forfeits for being crap at the game. Had dinner, which was nice but a bit bland, then drank, chatted to some odd drunk Cambodians who may have been peer pressuring pete into drinking, played poker with pistascio nuts and ring pulls for chips. In a shocking turn of events Jess and I won as we both were far in the lead, but pete won via some suspicious ultimatum. Turned in around 10, avoiding drunk dude, and fell asleep to the heavy rain. Turns out girls' dorms leaked and they had 3 in a bed to avoid it.

07th June 2008

Early bus to Kompong Cham, so called “5” star hotel: mental asylum. Dumped stuff and had a very slow lunch that we had to order an hour before we got there. Went to the market to buy school kids some presents, got a pen and notepad. Rubbish. We got some old bikes, and cycle to a ferry raft to cross the river. Cycled on a crazy bamboo path. Saw children in School, chatted and got hugged, possibly for presents. Some peeps got hit. Skipping rope emerged, I hid. Went to the next door Pagoda and saw the monks there who all had mobile phones and digital cameras.... Cycled around island, had some fresh fruit at a locals house, then went to a special after school english school. Helped them practice the language of Angleterre. Sunset raft trip. Cycle back.

Went to local house in the evening for a nice meal. Ate a quite tasty but very sharp cricket, Phil had a squishy brainy one.

Sleep.

6th June 2008

Woke up a bit wack from beer. Met for boat trip to floating village, and went to a landmine hospital first, interesting talk and tour. Sad. Donation. Bus ride, very bumpy, and our photos were taken by locals once we exited the bus.

In boat, which was quite big and wooden. Many houses, schools, churches, and a basketball court floating on the river. Kids in boats climbing on to our boat to sell us drinks. One girl on a boat whipped out a snaked from the hull, and all the girls screaming, but pete saved the day with some linguistic tomfoolery. To restaurant, crocodiles, catfish, nice view across lake/river. On return to bus: photo plates. Old horrible market, awesome mexican (chimmichanga), with Ellen, Lauren, Lauran and Karl. Chilled in hotel lobby till evening when we went to Soup Dragon. Fish Amok. Yum. Crazy medics got their uni results. Bonus.

5th June 2008

Arrived in Temple area. $20! Extreme heat and sun. Sun city gate. Temple. Very detailed carving descriptions. Insense Buddhas. Got a bit lost with Karl, but turned out we hadn't. Big buddha. Smaller temple, climb up steep steps. Crazy descent. Between even temple: accosted by kids. 'Hey Lady', 'where you from?', 'you buy', 'one dollar' and various london/uk facts etc.

Tomb Raider temple. Crazy pete poses. Lunch near Angkor Wat. Amazing moat around it where we relaxed in the shade after a 5-star toilet break. Walked into Angkor Wat. Harriot, Teresa and I nearly got scammed by a buddha man. Went to a temple for the sunset, but had to initially hide in the mini van from humourously persistent selling kids, who gave charlotte a very cute drawing. Unfortunately there was no sunset due to a vast amount of cloud that suddenly appeared. Strange beer seller on the temple?! Went to a restaurant, and watched a traditional dance while eating awesome food. Went to Angkor What? Party bar, did drinking games, and the drinks were cheap. Woo.

4th June 2008

Leaped up early and headed down stairs, bit hungover and met the group. Split into two very nice minibuses and headed to the border on some pretty good roads. WE loaded our bags on a suspiciously rickety wooden cart, had lunch and then walked through the border which was very odd. First de-stamped through Thailand border into no man's land, which was full of beggars, children trying to sell things, rubbish and a fancy hotel. Glad we had Pete to guide us as I could see people ready to pounce and scam us. Took about 20 minutes for us all to get through the Cambodian border and onto 1 less nice bus where we prepared to travel on the “Dancing Road” for 4 hours to Siam Reap. Unfortunately, there was very little room, due to all our bags having seats, it was extremely hot and the road is the worst road known to mankind, possibly due to airline-to-government bribes. Then it started to pour. Really pour. Which cooled us all down no end, but made driving more difficult I would imagine, as the road disintegrates on contact with water.

On our arrival we cleaned up in our very nice hotel (still in twin rooms, bonus!) and took 4 tuk tuks into town for dinner: an awesome Khmer chicken curry recommended by Pete. Headed to the night market, which was the clearest and most civilised market to be found in Asia, so I got some more magnets and a small group of us invested in ice creams (dark chocolate and 'vanilla & boomive(sic)') before returning home via tuk tuk.

Slept

3rd June 2008

Woke up and pottered around for a while until I got thrown out by the scruff of my neck and got conned by a nice tuk tuk driver to my new hotel in preparation for my intrepid tour. Very posh and nice hotel, sharing with only other guy out of 16 of us. I wandered towards the temples, batting away people trying to con me with Buddhist holidays and various suspicious foibles. Eventually after discovering the National Museum and The National Gallery was in fact closed via a coincidence of them being lazy on Mondays, I participated in some daredevil road crossing and headed on down to the Grand Palace, where I once more dodged some tour guides, got given some cool floppy trousers to wear, and headed into the Grand Palace/Temple grounds. My general conclusion was that it looked like it had been made with Lego and painted with tacky thick gold paint. Was interesting though, and I saw the only(?) emerald Buddha in the world, respectfully kneeling, with shoes off, not pointing feet at the Buddha etc. Melting some what on the way, I exited out of the grounds and fell into a coin museum, which was airconned but pretty dull overall. Collapsed in a dizzy state of starvation in a food supplying café and then wibbled back towards Khoa San Road. On the way a crazy birdseed selling woman CHASED me down the street trying to put the bags in my pocket.

To reward myself for surviving I bought a DV from 7-11 and as I was about to leave when I locked eyes with a random guy who looked strangely familiar. After 10 seconds we both finally twigged, and realised it was Mark and Kelly from Taupo and Wellington. Crazy coincidence and we had a good chat over what we had been up to etc. Nearly got lost going back to hotel and met my room mate (Karl), so chatted for a while with him. Meeting was at 6 with Pete (our Cambodian leader) and the 15 other members of the group (Debs, Steph, Lauran, Holly, Phillipa, Jess, Pren, Sarah, Harriott, Charlotte, Ellen, Lauren, Tereasa and Annie). All girls apart form Karl and I, and all UK apart from Annie who is from the US of A. Later in the evening Pete took us for a nice meal in a Thai restaurant just off KS road, where I had a yummy Pad Thai, and we went on for some drinks at a pavement side bar. Pete seemed to taken an (un)healthy liking to me, much to general amusement, and we had a number of beers before our group splintered, some returning to the hotel and the rest of use went to a bar in Koh San Road. A bucket of vodbull later (shared with Lauren S) and we were moderately tipsy and happy.

2nd June 2008

Started off with a nice free brekkie of omelette, bacon, c/flakes and fruit, before walking out in the heat to Jim Thompson's House. Quite interesting, nice guided tour and then cooled off in a small modern art gallery. His house was made of a variety of traditional thai houses, and apparently he revitalised the silk trade and disappeared under mysterious circumstances in the Cameron Highlands. Walked back and checked out the MBK centre, which was full of identical tiny shops stretching further than the eye could see. Apparently its where all the cool kids hangout, but I was a bit like “blargh”, so I headed back out to the World Central Plaza trying to find a bookshop. Then walked for ages to another shopping centre, which was awful, and so far, plus epic pollution, so I just returned to the World Plaza and wandered around until I crumbled and saw Narnia II in la cinema, which confiscated my camera for piracy related reasons. Had some food at Mr Lee, horrendous cellophane noodles salad, made me feel ill so I ran away, after paying of course. I then hit up Koniecka Bookshop, where I got two Fforde books: The Eyre Affair and Easy Side Up, which look quite funny. Spent ages trying to find a new journal, but no where sold moleskine ones and the other ones had a poultry number of lines per page. Headed back to hotel and collapsed.