With immense skill I managed to wake up 3 minutes before my shuttle was meant to leave after ignoring my alarm completely. Once more I defied all the odds and was already packed so just sprinted to the front door. It would appear the all encompassing definition of Fiji Time also includes being extremely punctual. I made it though and took the crazy ride while being slightly comatosed.
I swooped through check in and security, and ordered a crazy chinese salad which spiraled into me playing chicken with our boarding call, while I waited for it.. When I finally got on, it turned out I had a seat by the emergency exit door, with no one next to me! Awesome. Though escape hatch looked quite battered as if it's seen use before, interesting. We got a nice breakfast (has brown, omelette, sausage, croissant and fruit) and I watched The Game Plan for the 2nd time. It's starting to destroy my soul. It would appear the nitrogen in my blood hasn't expanded and killed me, though I had exceeded the minimum delay time before flights (of 18 hours) but only just.
We're just descending toward Auckland. I miss cities. At least westernised cities. Apparently NZ is an hour ahead of Fiji, which makes the time difference for home not 12 hours. Confusing.
I've just seen one of the best films ever on my phone of all things, while surrounded by frogs. It's called The Nines, and stars Ryan Reynolds. I'd rate it up there with Brick, though only icelandic dan has seen that to appreiciate it's awesomness. I've failed to do much today except pootle around, go in the sea, go in the pool, read my book and overuse the free internet. I'm pondering going on a day jet ski trip with lunch and snorkeling. It's 83 quid though, which I could use in Nz or Oz, but I feel bad not doing anything and there's jus tnothing to do on Sundays here. Monday is my shark dive and trip back to Nadi, some how. I just ate a really nice Cos salad with crispy bacon and chicken AND got a free beer as waiter forgot about me. I wasn't too fussed because I could finish film. The waiter scares me somewhat. Not sure if it's the crazy eyes or constant disconcerting smirk/grin on his face. I've discovered the high quality paper of this journal is actually semi-water resistent. Bonus Points!
I've spent far too much time on the internet. And I'm shattered. I did managed to book into an awesome hostel and get the crazy shark dive package today. The bust to get me there comes at 1, is about a 3 hour drive on an air conditioned bus to pacifici harbour. I stay there 3 nights, then back to Nadi for my last night. In the skylodge as everyone knows me here and is like "Bula Tom!" and I'm like "sup guys", and the hilarity continues. In the mean time I must stay awake and not forget my scattered possessions.
I would like to point out, I have already accelerated past sir rex-a-lot's post count from his travel blog. Unfortunately, what I win in quantity I lose in quality, coherency, photographic elements and factual knowledge. You win this time rex *shakes fist*
Even my prowess as a linguistic mastermind cna't fill today with gmystery, intrigue, excitement or suspicious bakery products. The day can be summarised as food, hammock, leaving song, boat ride (avec playing cards), bus ride (avec rain), and a splishie splashie in the pool.
However, from here, it gets interesting. Soon Mr & Mrs Dave, Amie & Rachelle met me by the pool. We chilled and ate dinner before discovering it was Kava night at the hotel. 
So we joined hte large circle (10+) and drank kava and chatted with a big Fijian called Si. Only Dave and I seemed to like the Kava and were given huge coconut shells to drink out of! Were told we should wash down with beer to keep us awake. Si then taught us a cool version of trumps that 4 players play and you team up with the person opposite you.
Amie and I played Si and a cool dude from Ireland (Boran). I think overall we won more times via crazy eye and eyebrow movements. Me and Boran were last to go to bed and chatted for ages about Oz and stuff. I couldn't sleep cos of crazy Kava, so at 3.30 I went on the net for 2 hours, came back and at about 6.30 3 guys managed to make the most noise ever recorded with 3 bags for 15 minutes. Argh
Had a fun night tonight, was chillin by the pool when across the other side something fell from a tree, surprising some dude and made him edge away. Well as the curious cat I am, I went to investigate, and it turned out to be a finger length cockroach. Great fun, so me and the guy (Eddie from Hertfordshire) struck up conversation, and it took us 15 minutes to get the courage to flip the poor critter over again. He was carrying an injury from his epic fall so failed to launch a full scale attack on us and limped off quite forlornly. Anyway, me and Eddie then shared some jugs of fiji beer and chatted with 2 of his room mates, Kate and Claire from Brighton, for the rest of the night. As usual, everyone is doing the same Fiji -> Nz -> Oz -> beyond trip, so may meet them later.
Tomorrow: Manta Ray Island.
Past few days have merged a tad and I feel I need to make a vague sweeping arc of clarity. Or something. On top of the 3 girls I met before, I met an American girl, who I've chatted to many times, possibly called Alexis. She suggested the garden of the sleeping giant and the services of Johnny taxi man. Might bumping into her in NZ, as she is going there after the Solomon islands. I also met 2 English girls, Natalie (Coventry) and Laura (southend) and we chilled one of the nights. they took 4 hour coach journey to Suva yesterday, just for a day trip. They're also hitting NZ and Oz, I think. As is Everyone!
I think the power of deet as an insect repellent is extremely overated, and my left foot would agree whole heartedly. So my plans? well I'm going to Manta Ray Island for 5 days to get my diving certificate, woo! Then on way back will stop off at bounty island, I suspect. After that I'm unsure of my plans but I need to book my last night, the 25th, in the skylodge, for airport ease.
Blam.
After chatting a while with New Yorkian Alex last night, I drifted off into a nice slumber, with only a few additions to my crazy bite count. In the morning I grabbed another Skylodge lite breakfast (2 toast, orange juice, cornflakes, coffee, plate of guava, for about 2.66 pounds) and then leaped majestically into the pool, which had just been chlorinated. 
Needless to say I still can't see too well now, which is a bit worrying, but at least the pain has gone. I researched tourist traps on the interwebs and showered before going to talk to my pal Johnny. Organised a day chauffeur driven tour for 20 quid, which was quite good.
Went to the garden of the sleeping giant, which is an amazing place at the base of a mountain (the sleeping giant_. Though I realised I'd only bought a micro sd to sd adapter with me, I used my cunning and whipped out my micro sd card from my phone and put it in my camera. After wandering around a while, I got free guava and passionfruit juice, which is amazing. Yummy. Ended with a short walk around the other side and returned to Johnny. 
He then took me to a village (Viseisei Village), where the first fijian landed 3500 years ago. It's very Fijian, and a woman greets you and takes you around the village (pop 350). My guide was Tanya, and she showed me the chief's hut, their church, memorial and many tables with traditional merchandise.
Random Facts:
- White meat tastes nicest, they even ate clothes of the missionaries. Tastes like chicken.
- 6 tribes (warrior, fisherman, spokesman, chief, carpenters, ....)
- Warrior tribe are like police, still give beatings.
- They used to bury the Chief with his favourite wife (while she was still alive!)
- Tanya is in the spokesman tribe. Everything in the village is shared, i.e. if you buy a TV, everyone uses it.
- There are 300 dialects of Fijian around the islands
I bought a cool bracelet device, gave her a "donation" and left with Johnny. On the way he also gave me various facts:
- Train line is only used during sugar cane harvest, very narrow gauge and mostly overgrown/tarmaced over etc, which has to be cleared every year. Train goes to Latouka where it is processed.
- Pine trees -> wood chips -> china/japan -> paper
- Pot holes in the road are from the crazy rain, especially from the cyclone that they had 2 weeks ago.
We headed quickly to a beach on the way to Latouka, which as it was high tide had only a metre of beach. Lots of debris from the cyclone however. Now in Latouka, 2nd biggest city, seems nice. Currently in a chinese where I think they hate me are are playing tunes like "Angels", "Time of my life", "Brick In the Wall" etc, very old skool., I got a whole pot of chinese tea for about 60p. Currently waiting on sweet and sour pork and lamb friend rice. I wish the pages of this book were waterproof. I'm meeting Johnny at 3 somwhere random, I'm sure I'll never find again.
I grabbed a taxi ride in with Jonny, and poorly haggled (I imagine) to $5 for the trip, which seemed worth it as it was a couple of miles and he was jolly nice. Arrived in Nadi, and got ushered into a shop, which I promptly exited from. Wandered around, past a Nandos! and said bula to many people on the way. A random guy greeted me, and we chatted for a while and he invited me in to show me "what he does". Obviously I followed, seeking adventure, intrigue and scam artists.
His name was Mike and I met Moses, so we took off our shoes and sat down on a woven rug/mat. Then I had a traditional Kava welcoming ceremony involving various clapping motions and drinking kava, a drink made from ground up kava pepper root. Guy reckoned it tastes like black coffee, Lonely planet says murky medicine, others say muddy water. I thought it was pretty nice, possibly as the guy said coffee. We chatted for a whle about my life, football and traditional Fijian ways and he showed me some newspaper clippings, including the queen drinking Kava, the crazy girl. They then "let me" browse their cool little store for a while and due to my traditional English guilt (even though they told me I'm Fijian now) I chose a cool little musical wooden percussion device. We chatted some more around the bowl, while they attempted to sell me a Kava set and some other Fijian artifacts. I got my lupa, or something, engraved with Fiji 2008, and then Thomas Baker.
You may be thinking "Wait a minute Tom, although your typing and spelling ability are legendary, it would appear you spelt your name wrong". Oh loyal reader, to the contrary, the Fijian people have an obsession with ignoring that little "r" in my name for a good reason. In July of 1867, Rev Thomas Baker was murdered, cooked and consumed while trying to spread the Christian message in Fiji's highlands. Seven Fijian converts who were helping the 35-year-old missionary penetrate the mountainous interior of Viti Levu island were also clubbed to death, their bodies cut up on flat rocks and roasted all over an incident involving a comb. Anyway, when anyone finds out my name here, they begin apologising frantically, and I have to calm them down.
A cool guy called Joseph, who reminded me exactly of Will Smith, took me to an ATM and I grabbed cash. He was really chatty and his English was extremely good. Once we got back we had ANOTHER bowl of Kava, "one for the road" apparently. In the end I had 6/7 coconut shells of Kava! Good fun. Some more suckers customers appeared and I bid them all farewell. I wandered to a Fiji-Indian restaurant and got a really tasty goat curry with all the trimmings. Carrying on, some guy attempted to entice me into a bar but ran off into a supermarket. After grabbing some cheap supermarket water I returned home via a random taxi man.
Wait, Joseph stole my pen!.
mmmm fiji, After an excessively long flight we landed moderately successfully to the sounds of traditional fijian music and big warm smiles. As it was 5am I wasn't the most alert individual but I did manage to get my bag, some Fijian dollars and found the pickup point for crazy skylodge people. Ride was cool, met a load of girls and we puzzled at the random stop the driver did outside some ramshackle shops. After a palava at reception, I was the only one whose booking was on the computer AND had a room ready. Turns out it's awesome, 4 bed dorm, ensuite, spacious and at that point, was just me. I couldn't be bothered to sleep so I went out and grabbed some breakfast at the bar with 3 of the girls form the shuttle. One is French-Canadian (Marie), others are english, Amie (Sheffield) and Rachelle (South Kent). And now I'm bored of writing...
