27th June 2008

After finding the wrong Ocean Tours office, the lovely lady came and got our wandering souls and gave us a yummy cup of tea. Seems very professional, we were given free tea, shown an alternative more active tour we could do (which turned out to be cheaper due to a promo) and Debs and I got some bread from the bakery. All crammed a bit tightly into a mini van, everyone else a bit older than us but they seemed alright. Waited at the port for a bit, tried to see if the old gang were here, but no luck, so we all got aboard our junk, a triple decker wooden boat where some people were going to stay on for the night. Sat with a dutch and german for lunch, though we bumped around the harbour for ages, and another junk ploughed into us with a crunch but no one seemed too concerned. Lunch was a seafood concoction, without much allowance for vegetarians but was yummy. The german (Thomas) and I ate most of the food really. After some chatting, the boat departed towards the bay and island, we finished the bottle of cheap Vietnamese wine we got (Dalat) and sun bathed for a short while on top as we were shattered as normal.

Junk was amazingly quiet and we drifted slowly past looming rocky green islands and amongst other junks onwards. We pulled up amongst some island to do some sea kayaking, everyone had tandem kayaks except me who was solo. We went through limestone caves and tunnels to tranquil sea lagoons, surround on both sides by island hills and watched some colourful and quite large jellyfish scuttle past. Needles to say, Debs and Steph crashed their kayak on a number of occasions, including into the limestone tunnel! After successfully climbing back aboard the junk, only slightly breaking it and spoiling Debs' “You've Bee Framed” photo opportunity, we headed to our resort, which turned out to be on our very own island with only a few bungalows on!

• Free Tea
• Nice bungalow, single bed
• Swim
• Met with others for dinner
• Yummy. Yorkshire couple, Brent and Wendy
• Happy hour, drink wine, vodbull
• Karoke
• Manhood and T. T-Hood. 3am.

26th June 2008

Woke up at stupid o'clock to get our DMZ tour bus at 6am. The 5km wide DMZ each side of the Ben Hai River split Vietnam into the Republic of Vietnam (south) and the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. During the American war it became one of the most militarised zones in the world, still with more than 3 million mines and 350,000 to 800,00 tonnes of unexploded ordinance. The day mainly consisted of vast amounts of driving, interspersed by a few sites and food stops:

Highway 9 (part of the Ho Chi Min Trail):

1. 1.The Rock Pile: exactly what it says on the tin, but used to have a US Marine Corps bas on it
2. 2.Dakrong Bridge: a pretty suspension bridge, old bridge was part of Ho Chi Minh Trail.
3. 3.Khe Senh Base: Site of controversial and famous siege. Recreated bunkers, a tank and some US helicopter are there, which I'm sure the US went back. Also a propaganda filled memorial museum as well as a guest book full of controversial opinions.

Highway 1A:

1. 1.Truong San National Cemetery: or at least it might have been.... up a series of steps is a large statue honouring the women of the wars.
2. 2.Vinh MOC tunnels: Highlight of the day, larger than the Chu Chi tunnels (width wise) we spent a good 20 min exploring, popping up at the beach and in the forest. Crazy guy who was born in the tunnels was also there and loved having his photo taken a bit too much. In total 7 people were born in the tunnels and are all still alive now. Only once did a bomb score a direct hit, and it failed to explode, so the hole was used as an air vent.

Showed off my bargaining skills much to the amazement of some tourist, basically walked past a whole line of sellers and just let the price keep dropping from 20 until it hit 5. Classic.

We then had a 3 hour bus journey back and I unleashed my Zen to Debs, though mainly the Eels who we all know are excellent. Arrived back around 6.30pm and mainly tried to sort out a Halong Bay tour for tomorrow morning!? Finally got one for $145 from a recommended company: Ocean Tours, but ran out of time for food. Hotel screwed up our taxi to airport and I was a bit terse with them, finally sorted, lept on plane, only 1 hour 20min, got taxi into central Hanoi, got mad at driver for taking us to a hotel opposite side of Hanoi from where we wanted and he finally took us there. Wandered around a bit with an annoying hotel guy pestering us, so went in a random hotel to spite him. Cheap but room was so high we were basically in Zeus's lap. We were all starving but were locked in the hotel and no food was on sale. Resorted to booking Sapa train then crashing out for ANOTHER early start tomorrow.

25th June 2008

After a moderately early rise, we managed to find a cafe that was nice, but had no electricity, for a continental breakfast. We trekked across the Trang Tien Bridge in the baking sun to reach the edge of The Citadel, where we crossed the moat in a rather narrow bike filled tunnel. Admired the tallest flagpole in Vietnam (at 37 metres it isn't that big) as well as the 9 holy cannons (representing the 4 seasons and 5 elements). Bursting forth into the Imperial enclosure, and scaling the main gate, who did we bump into, but the intrepid Vietnam group. We complained about the heat with them for a while before they had to scoot off to get the train to Hanoi. We watched some Chinese tourist blatantly disobeying some “do not touch” signs and then pushed further into the enclosure, after feeding the fish, towards the Thai Hoa Palace, passing a man riding an elephant. The palace itself was quite small and a bit bare, but was made from some rather ornate timber. Out the back is a courtyard with 2 halls of the mandarins either side and sleeping man. Avoiding the very touristic dress up photo opportunity.

To the back of the court was the ruins of the Can Cah Palace and The Forbidden Purple City, reserved for personal use by the emperor and looked like a cross between ruins, a construction site and an abandoned festival venue. Most of the Imperial Enclosure is currently going through a 35 year restoration project, which may involve completely rebuilding of many things. You may be wondering why the citadel of Vietnam's previous capital city is demolished, well if you look closely you can still see the American and French bullet holes. Wandering around the lazy builders, in the boiling heat, we came out to the back of the enclosure by the beautiful lily pond moat. WE continued our random wanderings in a clockwise direction and I fell down a hole, but pulled off an elegant crumble to my knees. Found a random house which had an island gaarden, with an overgrown shrine amongst all the rubble. All the roads between the overgrown ruins, which incidentally, are baren of tourists, are pristine and well maintained. We clambered skillfully over a random bridge and played with some weeds/flowers that close when touched. Next was the renovated Royal Theatre, which was quite elaborate but we were at the wrong time for any performances. More temples in the form of the Thai To Mieu Temple Complex and we passed the front gate to continue onto the To Mieu Temple, where we all nearly died from heat exhaustion, especially Steph, so we haggled some water and ice cream and cooled down. Then I got tranquilly lost from the other two in Phung Tren Temple and the beautiful Dien Tho Residence. Finally say the under construction Truong San Residence and left the Imperial enclosure via the rear, wandered the citadel streets, where we were never harassed and it seemed more local. Walked besides the beautiful Tinh Tam Lake, then found an LP recommended restaurant, by which point Steph was feeling awful. Restaurant was not only racist (only Vietnamese were allowed upstairs) but food was dull, Debs “mixed veg” had just 1 veg and the ginger tea was made with a tea bag. Pants.

Checked out the dire (and closing) General Museum complex and Museum of Royal Fine Arts, before going across the river and stopping in another LP suggested café, where I promptly ate vast amounts (Chinese fried rice and chips) and felt like I was going to explode. Headed back to hotel where Steph went to nap and recover, while Debs and I hired bikes and made the perilous and darkening journey to Thein Mu Pagoda. Where we got there it was just about pitch black, but we wandered around the eerily quiet and empty pagoda grounds before watching lightening from the Perfume River front. Cycling back was fun as we had no lights and no street lamps, so we just tail gated a scooter and used their light. Went in the trusty Sinh Cafe and booked a demilitarised zone tour for tomorrow, before heading back, grabbing Steph, possibly some food and some sleep.

24th June 2008

After waking far too early, to check out, we skipped and hopped down to the Hai Scout cafe to begin our cookery class. Relaxed, woke up and enjoyed our free drink (lassi all the way) and chatted to a random American guy who taught in South Korea for 2.5 years. The group of around 18 was split into 3 groups and our guide showed us around the central market, explaining veg, showing us the meat section (with unfathomable pots of boiling gruel) and trying to sell us strange yet effective Kitchen utensils. After following our infuriatingly slow and slightly spaced out guide, we met up with the others and took the red bridge boat along the river to the red bridge cooking school, past fishing nets and other boaters.

Instantly thrown into the fray, we took our seats in front of a work surface and large roof mounted mirror, where our charismatic, comical and possibly drunk chef was introduced to us. Initially a salad type food creation was demonstrated, followed by aubergine in clay pot, which we then went to our work stations and made, with some annoying aussie kid dropping the clay pot and burning himself. Swapping back and forth between demonstrations and cook stations, we made:

• Rice paper (on steaming cotton) and used it to make yummy fresh spring rolls
• Hoi An pancakes with shrimp/green leaf in rice paper, Debs had mushroom, she tells me to write.
• Vietnamese plate decoration, where we did something fancy with a cucumber and made tomato roses

We departed our watefront covered cookery base and headed into the main restaurant/bar/cafe to eat chef prepared food that we were shown today and a noodle fish dish as well. Mega full up at the end as we ate what we made as we went along as well. Following some confusion, we got a taxi back to our slinky hotel and took the 3 hour bus to Hue.

On arrival we got swamped by hotel people and I spent the next 30 minutes running around various hotels, comparing rooms with some lunatics, being kicked in jest on the arse, and finally deciding on a very big room with 3 near double beds for $15. We then collapsed completely and relaxed, watching snakes on a place before going for a late tea near the other backpacking area which was a bit disappointing.

23rd June 2008

After an all you can eat buffet style food fest for breakfast, where I naturally overfed myself, we headed out to start the LP walking tour of Hoi An. We then were reduce to a puddle of sweat instantly and found out that the traditional cultural performance doesn't show on Mondays, so our ticket was basically entrance to a shop at the Handicraft Workshop, housed in a 200 year old trading house of a Chinese Merchant. We saw some people pottering and painting, and I got semi-molested by a chinese tourist. Next stop, at the real start of the LP:WT, was the Tran Family Chapel, built in 1802. A nice woman took us around, and we threw ying/yang coins. You get 3 goes, and if you get 1 as ying and 1 as yang you get good luck. Debs: Bad Luck. Steph: Good Luck (after 2 goes). Tom: Mega bonus luck on first go! House was nice, though half the rooms had things for sale, including ying/yang coins, but they were copper so I'd turn green.

On to the museum of trading ceramics, an exciting excursion into the sublimely illuminating world of broken platers, though the restored house it was set in was nice. Past a few more buildings and we got to the Assembly Hall of the Fujian Chinese Congregation, which is pretty stunning and they had turtles in one of their ponds! After a bit more intense sunshine, we got to the Quan Cong temple, which sneakily led on to the Hoi An Museum of History and Culture, and more turtles. Carried on following the LP:WT away from town, checking out a bookshop, then looping back past some colonnaded French buildings where I haggled for a DC and I was informed about the Miss Universe competition for the 5th time.

Gazed out from the Cam Nam bridge, down the river, before making our way through the Central Market, past all the same-same stalls, and I got laughed at then hit by an old lady, in what I assume was jest. Then some woman said I needed a haircut and we burst free, back on the streets. Having met Harriot and Charlotte earlier, which I failed to mention, we went to a recommended garden cafe with artie sculptures, no menus, but nice mango shakes. Now in the Alpen cafe for lunch, after Debs got sucked into the tailors against her will.

22nd June 2008

Woke up surprisingly chipper after staying out till 3.30am or some irresponsible hour, and having missed our haggled free breakfast, we just collapsed in/beside the pool. Swam and chatted until I went prunie, played on the net, then after a series of showers we went and booked our extravagantly priced cooking course for Tuesday at 8am. As hunger striked we went to a café which was dubbed “Alpen” restaurant, due to its excessive Aplen stock. After an awesome pork and cashew nut extravaganza I had a baguette. Yums! Steph went to get MORE stuff done in the tailors and we bumped into Lauren, Holly, Ellen and Emily unsurprisingly. After about 15 min of soul death on my part we all bundled into cargo café and I got my tea on. Feeling guilty over our lack of productivity we hired bikes off a dodgy man for 50p each and cycled across the bridge to the Hoi An peninsula and made a few locals laugh with our tom-foolery. Very nice there, though smaller than we thought, general houses and the river really. Got chatting to a Vietnamese girl, when we stopped for photos, about the soon arriving Miss Universe competition in Hoi An. Could explain the excessive road resurfacing and the tar all over my feet last night. Steph then went off once more to the tailors, so Debs and I cycled with crazy motorbikes and cars to the beach 4km away. Nice ride along the river, past houses, hotels, rice fields, until we randomly appeared at the beach where we got charged 10,000 to park our bikes! Spent the next 10 minutes bartering the price of a tiny kite with a shop guy, and we walked on the totally crammed by lovely beach. A minute walk led us to a deserted section, past the beach rugs for rent. Paddled and played with a crab while Debs constructed her kite, only to find, humourously, that the string was only 1 metre long and kite just span in circles. Watched the sky burst into a thousand shades of nuclear winter before releasing our night time cycling predicament. Avoiding various lanterns, BBQs, scampering children and old ladies selling unidentifiable food products, we found our way back to our non-stolen bikes and were promptly mocked by some kids. Survived the cycle back under motorbike light and was quite enjoyable, especially with the breeze. Collapsed in hotel, waited for Steph to get back and researched flights from Hanoi to Hong Kong. Cheapest way is Air Asia Hanoi to Bangkok, then after a 6 hour wait, flight to Macau (another odd province of China, like HK, but Portugues). Saves me $260, which is awesome, and with Air Asia, so not bad. Chinese visa should only take 2-3 days, and loads of peeps like Harriot, Charlotte, Ellen, Lauren x2 and Holly are going to be in town. Also Charlotte is going to be on the same China intrepid tour I just booked, woo! AND will hopefully go to Japan with me. Annie might be in Japan as well. Bonus!

Anyway, we went out to the LP recommended restaurant 96, where I had the local Cao Lau dish, cooked with water from the Buy Le Well. Also had White Rose Shrimp and Prawn in Rice paper, which was alright but also a local speciality. Now chillaxing in Tam Tam Cafe, with vast quantities of green tea. Awesome. History and Culture tomorrow.

21st June 2008

Arrived at station at 10.30am, and took a taxi to Hoi An past marble mountain and china beach. Dude dropped us off and bargained with loads of hotels along the same street before settling on an amazing hotel with pool, aircon ensuite, etc for $21 between us a night, very close to centre as well. We had a shower etc before heading out to wander around, and bumped into Annie and Tereasa. Went to a tailors, that Hoi An is famous for, steph started her spending spree, and we saw others there. Weather was insanely baking, drank 4 litres of water, and steph somehow stood on a cat. Met others in “Then and Now” for charlottes birthday, there was an awesome cake and we gave her a card. Went to a beach drinking place. Alcohol. Russians watching the football, we did dancing, people broke glass. Took the bus home.

20th June 2008

Early check out. Breakfast. Hired Boat with Debs. Snorkelled around an island, breathed in sea. Wandered around island a bit. Went to fishing village after some lost in translation action. Dinner. Cafe Des Amis. Massive strawberry ice cream, awesome. Taxi to train station to go to Denang.

19th June 2008

Scammed by Taxi. Checked into Hotel. Slept. Walked along front. Bumped into Harriot and Charlotte. Breakfast. Others came along. Bookshops. Jpod. All arvo on beach. Nice. Train station hell trying to get ticket, people helped us. Mad Kim for really good pizza and cocktails. Bought some snorkels from convenience store for cheap. 11Pm sleep.

18th June 2008

Chu Chi tunnels. Train ticket. Goodbye lunch with Jess and Phil. Burger. Wander old town. Shops. Cofee. Soco cafe. Met Jerry. Talked with students. Etc. Train at 11pm overnight to Nha Trang

17th June 2008

5am brekkie. Boat to meet tour group. 3 hour boat trip to cai ran floating market. Rice mill. Fruit orchard. Eat fruit. Boat broke. Boat to lunch in Can Toe. Bus -> Vinh Lang. Market or cafe. Cafe. Ferry to Ceibe. Bus to Ho Chi Min. Mexican for Phil and Jess good bye. Cocktails. Go to bar. Shattered

16h June 2008

Mekong delta tour with Sinh Cafe. Khai Pe Floating market. Coconut candy making. Rice paper making. Lunch. Chatted with a couple. Traditional music, bit meh. On boat. Vinh Lang. Ferry across. Can Toe. Taxi to homestay. Mega nice. Took his own boat to paddy field. Steph fell over in the paddy field, much hilarity. Back. Dinner. Cards. Beer. Bed

15th June 2008

Check out. Bye to everyone. Check in to dorm. Lunch: highland coffee, local market. Walk around. Highland coffee. Notre Dame. Post Office. Hostel. Little street food. Tired. Crashed out.

14th June 2008

• Vietnam, 7 hour trip. Border
• Lunch noodle soup. Coffee shop. Hostel and mekong delta booking.
• Debs ill. Little street Mexican. Blue Gecko bar.
• No night club. No dancing

13th June 2008

• Tuoul Sleng museum.
• Killing fields Museum
• Killing Fields.
• Russian Market
• Coffee shop.
• Boxing on TV.
• Group dinner.
• Sofa
• DVD, charades.

12th June 2008

Took the morning bus to Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh, checked into the “fancy guest house”, and went for a group meal in another place that helps handicapped people. Yummy pork burger, though waited ages for it, and as the group's food hoover, everyone was worried I'd waste away. Returning to properly shoe up, we headed to the Royal Palace, which was surrounded by dragonflies. The palace and ground was very similar to the Thai royal palace, even with a small emerald buddha. The so called silver pagoda, looked like load of dirty floor tiles. Unfortunately, my camera and phone ran out of battery near the end, but it was all good. Debs, Phil and I then tired to find a hammock bar, but gave up pretty quickly and returned home.

Group dinner on water front to help orphans, they even had a toddle there who was just dumped at their door. She was v.cute though. Food was nice, had a meat filled pizza. Pete then took some of us to mango bar across town, where we had a few chilled drinks.

11th June 2008

Weather not great today, but 8 or so of us took tuktuks down to the quiet local beach, which took ages to get to, contrary to Pete's predictions once more. Went along very rough roads past some apparently slums and burst out next to a number of bars with sun loungers and no people. Sat inside as it began to rain and Debs, Norman and I swam in the sea for ages, going quite prunie. Then our tuk tuks arrived and we met the others (apart from Karl ) in Starfish Cafe all afternoon. BLT and Tea.

Bought Jane Eyre in a bookshop, found that Karl slept till 4pm, then we all went to a mexican, played darts, with Lauren A pulling a clever maths trick on Karl. A core few of us then said an emotional goodbye to Norman as we released him to the even crashing ocean. Then Sleep.

10th June 2008

Went on an organised boat trip to the islands, though it appears Sarah's phone was stolen from her room last night. Split into 2 groups on two boats and we set off towards an island to snorkel around. Which I really enjoyed and Debs and I were in ages as most other people went in, then injured themselves on coral, fish and sharks or something. Lauren A got a sea urchin right in her toe! Can't pull it out as will break up, very painful for her. Others had lots of coral scratches. Not sure how they managed it, though a few points I did nearly get trapped amongst rocks and coral. We all scrambled aboard and went to another island where we landed, some peeps lay on the beach and harriott, Charlotte, Jess and I threw a frisbee in the sea and discussed Cambodian politics. Then the sky began to empty on us and we ran for shelter and kebab lunch. After learning that big craps are worth $10, Lauren A and I went hunting for them, and after failing for about an hour we caught one by caking it in sand. It was very small though, so we kept it in the pasta bucket. Some chillin later I Got restless and looked for another crab, debs helped and after chasing one for a while I managed to pick it up by it's shell, though not before another one stabbed me. Anyway, we now had Harry and Sally, though they didn't really take a liking to each other, so we emptied them into the wet and set said for the mainland. On the boat back we discovered that a shell I found in my pcoket contained a hermit crab who we named Norman. On land again we took a jeep back to the hotel, where Pete held on to me a bit too sensually. Hit up a Japanese restaurant, where I had a v.nice chicken with specialist Japanese sauce, with rice. We all retired with pete to the monkey republic for drinks, then a few of us played pool in poco loco until 3/4am as debs wouldn't let us stop till girls won (Karl and I v phil, debs and jesse). They never won. Will be tired tomorrow.

9th June 2008

Long bus ride to soloukiville, beach place. Had lunch, walked to the beach, chilled amongst selling peeps, internet book shop. Relaxed, napped and watched tele until group meal in v.nice Japanese restaurant followed by poko loco next to hotel. Pool bar. Good fun.
Sleep.

8th June 2008

Coach to Phnom Penh. Stopped in shopping centre for 2 hours, had awful fast food chicken teriaki wrap, supermarket for snackeroos. Man stared at my junk while I went to loo. Looked at some humourous books (How To Be A Sensual Woman). Back to coach, long drive to homestay. 3 dorms, Karl and I had 1 to ourselves, I got a bright pink double bed. Chilled in hammocks then played hacky sack type game for ages and pete tried to get everyone to dance as forfeits for being crap at the game. Had dinner, which was nice but a bit bland, then drank, chatted to some odd drunk Cambodians who may have been peer pressuring pete into drinking, played poker with pistascio nuts and ring pulls for chips. In a shocking turn of events Jess and I won as we both were far in the lead, but pete won via some suspicious ultimatum. Turned in around 10, avoiding drunk dude, and fell asleep to the heavy rain. Turns out girls' dorms leaked and they had 3 in a bed to avoid it.

07th June 2008

Early bus to Kompong Cham, so called “5” star hotel: mental asylum. Dumped stuff and had a very slow lunch that we had to order an hour before we got there. Went to the market to buy school kids some presents, got a pen and notepad. Rubbish. We got some old bikes, and cycle to a ferry raft to cross the river. Cycled on a crazy bamboo path. Saw children in School, chatted and got hugged, possibly for presents. Some peeps got hit. Skipping rope emerged, I hid. Went to the next door Pagoda and saw the monks there who all had mobile phones and digital cameras.... Cycled around island, had some fresh fruit at a locals house, then went to a special after school english school. Helped them practice the language of Angleterre. Sunset raft trip. Cycle back.

Went to local house in the evening for a nice meal. Ate a quite tasty but very sharp cricket, Phil had a squishy brainy one.

Sleep.

6th June 2008

Woke up a bit wack from beer. Met for boat trip to floating village, and went to a landmine hospital first, interesting talk and tour. Sad. Donation. Bus ride, very bumpy, and our photos were taken by locals once we exited the bus.

In boat, which was quite big and wooden. Many houses, schools, churches, and a basketball court floating on the river. Kids in boats climbing on to our boat to sell us drinks. One girl on a boat whipped out a snaked from the hull, and all the girls screaming, but pete saved the day with some linguistic tomfoolery. To restaurant, crocodiles, catfish, nice view across lake/river. On return to bus: photo plates. Old horrible market, awesome mexican (chimmichanga), with Ellen, Lauren, Lauran and Karl. Chilled in hotel lobby till evening when we went to Soup Dragon. Fish Amok. Yum. Crazy medics got their uni results. Bonus.

5th June 2008

Arrived in Temple area. $20! Extreme heat and sun. Sun city gate. Temple. Very detailed carving descriptions. Insense Buddhas. Got a bit lost with Karl, but turned out we hadn't. Big buddha. Smaller temple, climb up steep steps. Crazy descent. Between even temple: accosted by kids. 'Hey Lady', 'where you from?', 'you buy', 'one dollar' and various london/uk facts etc.

Tomb Raider temple. Crazy pete poses. Lunch near Angkor Wat. Amazing moat around it where we relaxed in the shade after a 5-star toilet break. Walked into Angkor Wat. Harriot, Teresa and I nearly got scammed by a buddha man. Went to a temple for the sunset, but had to initially hide in the mini van from humourously persistent selling kids, who gave charlotte a very cute drawing. Unfortunately there was no sunset due to a vast amount of cloud that suddenly appeared. Strange beer seller on the temple?! Went to a restaurant, and watched a traditional dance while eating awesome food. Went to Angkor What? Party bar, did drinking games, and the drinks were cheap. Woo.

4th June 2008

Leaped up early and headed down stairs, bit hungover and met the group. Split into two very nice minibuses and headed to the border on some pretty good roads. WE loaded our bags on a suspiciously rickety wooden cart, had lunch and then walked through the border which was very odd. First de-stamped through Thailand border into no man's land, which was full of beggars, children trying to sell things, rubbish and a fancy hotel. Glad we had Pete to guide us as I could see people ready to pounce and scam us. Took about 20 minutes for us all to get through the Cambodian border and onto 1 less nice bus where we prepared to travel on the “Dancing Road” for 4 hours to Siam Reap. Unfortunately, there was very little room, due to all our bags having seats, it was extremely hot and the road is the worst road known to mankind, possibly due to airline-to-government bribes. Then it started to pour. Really pour. Which cooled us all down no end, but made driving more difficult I would imagine, as the road disintegrates on contact with water.

On our arrival we cleaned up in our very nice hotel (still in twin rooms, bonus!) and took 4 tuk tuks into town for dinner: an awesome Khmer chicken curry recommended by Pete. Headed to the night market, which was the clearest and most civilised market to be found in Asia, so I got some more magnets and a small group of us invested in ice creams (dark chocolate and 'vanilla & boomive(sic)') before returning home via tuk tuk.

Slept

3rd June 2008

Woke up and pottered around for a while until I got thrown out by the scruff of my neck and got conned by a nice tuk tuk driver to my new hotel in preparation for my intrepid tour. Very posh and nice hotel, sharing with only other guy out of 16 of us. I wandered towards the temples, batting away people trying to con me with Buddhist holidays and various suspicious foibles. Eventually after discovering the National Museum and The National Gallery was in fact closed via a coincidence of them being lazy on Mondays, I participated in some daredevil road crossing and headed on down to the Grand Palace, where I once more dodged some tour guides, got given some cool floppy trousers to wear, and headed into the Grand Palace/Temple grounds. My general conclusion was that it looked like it had been made with Lego and painted with tacky thick gold paint. Was interesting though, and I saw the only(?) emerald Buddha in the world, respectfully kneeling, with shoes off, not pointing feet at the Buddha etc. Melting some what on the way, I exited out of the grounds and fell into a coin museum, which was airconned but pretty dull overall. Collapsed in a dizzy state of starvation in a food supplying café and then wibbled back towards Khoa San Road. On the way a crazy birdseed selling woman CHASED me down the street trying to put the bags in my pocket.

To reward myself for surviving I bought a DV from 7-11 and as I was about to leave when I locked eyes with a random guy who looked strangely familiar. After 10 seconds we both finally twigged, and realised it was Mark and Kelly from Taupo and Wellington. Crazy coincidence and we had a good chat over what we had been up to etc. Nearly got lost going back to hotel and met my room mate (Karl), so chatted for a while with him. Meeting was at 6 with Pete (our Cambodian leader) and the 15 other members of the group (Debs, Steph, Lauran, Holly, Phillipa, Jess, Pren, Sarah, Harriott, Charlotte, Ellen, Lauren, Tereasa and Annie). All girls apart form Karl and I, and all UK apart from Annie who is from the US of A. Later in the evening Pete took us for a nice meal in a Thai restaurant just off KS road, where I had a yummy Pad Thai, and we went on for some drinks at a pavement side bar. Pete seemed to taken an (un)healthy liking to me, much to general amusement, and we had a number of beers before our group splintered, some returning to the hotel and the rest of use went to a bar in Koh San Road. A bucket of vodbull later (shared with Lauren S) and we were moderately tipsy and happy.

2nd June 2008

Started off with a nice free brekkie of omelette, bacon, c/flakes and fruit, before walking out in the heat to Jim Thompson's House. Quite interesting, nice guided tour and then cooled off in a small modern art gallery. His house was made of a variety of traditional thai houses, and apparently he revitalised the silk trade and disappeared under mysterious circumstances in the Cameron Highlands. Walked back and checked out the MBK centre, which was full of identical tiny shops stretching further than the eye could see. Apparently its where all the cool kids hangout, but I was a bit like “blargh”, so I headed back out to the World Central Plaza trying to find a bookshop. Then walked for ages to another shopping centre, which was awful, and so far, plus epic pollution, so I just returned to the World Plaza and wandered around until I crumbled and saw Narnia II in la cinema, which confiscated my camera for piracy related reasons. Had some food at Mr Lee, horrendous cellophane noodles salad, made me feel ill so I ran away, after paying of course. I then hit up Koniecka Bookshop, where I got two Fforde books: The Eyre Affair and Easy Side Up, which look quite funny. Spent ages trying to find a new journal, but no where sold moleskine ones and the other ones had a poultry number of lines per page. Headed back to hotel and collapsed.

1st June 2008

General packing, breakfasting, walking with pack, internetting, catching bus, finishing The Time Traveller's Wife (totally awesome) and arriving in Bangkok while forgetting to play Brand New's "Welcome To Bangkok". Wandered aimlessly for a while, got a taxi, once more no one knew where my hostel was and driver actually refused to look at my map, making me instead talk to someone on his phone whose english wasn't much better. Eventually found the Wendy House after asking another taxi dude, checked in and slumped in awesome room. TV/DVD etc. Walked out after some TV and investigated the extremely fancy Siam Shopping centres. Had awesome pork with Cashew nuts in the Discovery Centre, or wherever I was and generally played in varying shops. Couldn't find the books I wanted in any of the book shops though. Still, it's all very impressive, then I fell into an Imax cinema and saw Indiana Jones 4. I shall classify it as enjoyable but different. At some point I had a yummy falafel wrap and then walked really far on a sky walk to get to Central World Plaza or something, but it was already shutting at 9, so I head back to hotel. "Watching The English" is a bit boring. Watched Mythbusters and ULTIMATE STRIKE JETS!!11!!1!!eleven!! until 1am, then fell asleep.

31st May 2008

Got up, went to a nice coffee shop then headed to a chinese temple by the edge of the beach. Quite nice. Wandered along waterfront road in the blazing heat, to fishing pier, then a bit of road tomfoolery and I got onto the beach, which I decided not to walk along as it REALLY stank. Next, I thought that a nice walk to Klai Kangwan Palace, in the searing heat, would invigorate me, as it didn't look too far on the map.

Curse my stubborness. And not reading: "Not To Scale" on the map. So after walking the entire length of Thailand, realising you can't really see the palace and getting a smoothie/frapp, I marched back towards the centre of Hua Hin. On the way, I got "Watching The English" from a book shop and checked out the Chat Chai Day market. I trekked more insane distance to the Hua Hin Market village, where I bumped into the couple I met yesterday, and I failed to go to the cinema as it was all in some strange foreign language, so had a mid arvo lunch.

Returned to central Hua Hin, I think I booked my bus tomorrow, and played on the net before finding The Time Traveller's Wife, in a book stall and scampered home to read it all night.

30th May 2008

Time to leave Koh Tao today, took taxi with girl, who had apparently only just remembered she had fallen off a bike the night before, to the ferry pier, where I got chatting to a really nice couple who were also going to Hua Hin, for about an hour. Gon on ferry and I spent the whole boat ride reading Pillars Of The Earth. Hour wait in Chumpton, then half empty bus to Hua Hin, took 4+ hours, finished Pillars of the Earth, woo! Got dropped off outside a very pretty shopping centre, tried to get a tuktuk to my hotel, but no one had heard of it, as normal, so I tried to find a net place, but failed in that as well, so just retired to a starbucks and pondered my options. After obtaining a useless map, I remembered it might be near the Hilton, so I got a tuk tuk there and fell into an internet cafe, found the address, and asked a helpful lady where it was, turns out it was basically on the road behind. Excellent.

Less excellently, the guest house is situated in the "entertainment" district of Hua Hin and the staff are all lunatics. Room is nice though, with TV and double bed. I headed straight out and wandered around, past a few 24 hour western fast food "centres" and found the night market, which I wandered through, quite busy, same old wallet/watch/jewellery type stalls you see everywhere and some interesting food stands. At some point on my wanderings I got handed a leaflet to a thai boxing match (Muay Thai), and decided it was a good bet. After the long trek there, and exploring a night market by it, it was time to go into basically a hall with a ring in and tables + seats for foreigners, as I suspect we pay loads more. Had cheap beer table service though.

6 matches in total, each 5 rounds. 1) Two 10/12 year old kids, very tough, one seemed to have a special punch-to-the-stomach move which did well. He won, and I liked him because he was less cocky. Though they both then came round asking for money. 2) Older guys, 20 or something, guy got randomly knocked out, no idea how 3) Older still, but very boring as they were too friendly and smiling 4) Tiny tiny kids, 7 years old? After a whole one appeared to give up/get bored 5) Half English dude won, no idea why, other guy just decided not to continue. 6) Good fight, lots of aggression, filmed lots of it.

Entire time some awful high pitch music was playing and announcer kept saying "ladies and Germans". I had an awesome time though, even if it wasn't exactly how Ong Bak portrayed it, probably for the best, KAPOW!

Walked back and collapsed in bed, after avoiding lunatic staff.

29th May 2008

Up early again as we couldn't get enough peeps to do an afternoon rib dive. Had an awesome BLT baguette at cafe next to dive shop, same old boating scenario etc. Next dive was mega deep dive, which was really annoying a my equalisation went so we could only get to 35m (still very deep) and didn't have much time there (or death) and we had to do a simulated 8 min (at 5m) decompression stop for the course, including 1 min of breathing from an emergency air source. Deco stop ended up at 12 min as just as we were reaching the emergency air source, the damn boat people pulled it up and the boat drove to a new position, so we had to chase the boat!

Anyway, next dive was fine, in fact I use 20 bar less air than Rich, which I was quite proud of. We say moray eels, devil scorpion fish, HUGE groupers, squid, panda clownfish and a vast array of other things. Completed paper work with Rich and then had thai for luncheon again. That evening, and the afternoon, I used masses of internet and tried to find more books but still failed to find any I wanted.

Started reading Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet again, and began to get back into it after being all monked out.

28th May 2008

Up at a very silly hour, and had some form of cooked breakfast, which may have been overkill. Met up with Rich(my dive dude) for a quick chat and to check equipment before we marched down to beach and overfilled a tiny boat, so water was very close to spilling in,m and then went out to clamber, in a very undignified manner, onto the bigger dive boat. Took about an hour to get to the south west pinnacle. Dive was similar to the deep dive in my Advanced course, did a timed task above and below water and looked at the effects of narcosis, if it affected my reciprocal heading nav skills or not. It didn't apparently, though I found it harder as he put it on my left wrist. All the while I had the same air consumption as Rich, which I was most chuffed about. After a surface interval of 1.10, during which we briefed on next dive site, I ate some pineapple (which was really nice and it proves it's quite easy to force myself to like something) and swapped tanks. Next dive we looked at what the pressure does to a packet of crisps, a bottle and a squidgy ball. Well the well inflated crisp packet turned to rock, bottle was cranched up and ball was less inflated. Saw trigger fish. Returned to land, had a nice lunch from the Thai place from yesterday and met Rich at 1.30 where we spent 2-3 hours chatting about the knowledge reviews, which I got all right. He told me some cool anecdotes which I won't go into, but basically I REALLY don't want decompression sickness or extreme narcosis. Apparently the world record for deepest dive was set by a group of people who had to recover their friends body who had got so narked he was too disorientated to do anything.

Anyway, in the afternoon I was totally and utterly shattered. Dosed a bit, got a cheapish Italian and then listened to some Flight of the Conchords on my nokia, while dozing, and got my passport photos, photocopies and couldn't find any good books to swap.

27th May 2008

After a nice breakfast and some net usage, I caught my 10.45 bus, which got us to the ferry pier 1.5 hours early, so I read more of Into The Heart of Borneo, which is really a very good book. Clambered on the boat, all got ordered to stand at front of it for some odd weight balanced turned manoeuvre , and then settled down to trying to drown out Superbad, with Death Cab For Cutie, while reading my book. Found enough coin to buy a roll as no where can change up 1000 baht bills, which makes them redundant money.

Trip took about 1.5 hours, at the Koh Tao ferry port I was harassed by 25000 people,but just got a taxi to the Rex-recommended Davey Jones' Locker diving centre. Only rooms left were huge double bed and single bed ones, had little choice and wasn't too bad price really. Dumped stuff and attacked the dive shop full on. Pondered options, deflected her suggestion that I stay here forever and decided to do the deep dive speciality. 2 days, 4 dives, one down to 40 metres to get narked! Does mean I will have lots of homework now though. I finished Into The Heart of Borneo, got dinner at a nice Thai place, though got eaten alive by mossies, used the interwebs and then worked lots on the deep diving manual, finally completing the entire book and settled down to sleep as I had to get to dive centre by 7.30am! Unfortunately, not only was there the thumping bass of the club to sleep through, but mother nature threw a party of her own with a HUGE thunderstorm erupting, I drifted off eventually.

26th May 2008: Evening

There were lots of books, but none right for the Tom, so I headed back and foolishly swam in the pool for a while, which resulted in eye blindness and pain for rest of afternoon. Chilled in eatery/bar from 4-8 in a bleary state, much to the sympathy of the waitress. OR she was mocking me or she thought I was a lunatic on drugs. Koh Tao tomorrow!

In other news, I'm running out of space in this book, so I need to get a replacement in Bangkok, as the one I told Rex to get was wrong. Curses. I also need to decide how long I should stay in Hui Hin, 1 or 2 nights, it all depends if I want 3 or 4 nights in Tao, depending on what diving lunacy they rope me into. ARGH, huge hornet in toilet, I hear they turn you to stone if you look into their eyes. As I was saying, trip to Koh Tao seems like it will take quite a few hours. All these islands would be way cheaper if I was travelling with someone rather than getting a whole crazy bungalow to myself. Really looking forward to Hue in Vietnam as the LP map looks like a UO map, must show Ruffle. Vietnam in general looks awesome, mainly as I can fit most of it in and I know the places already. I need to find out if I Can buy China LPs in Hong Kong, as I've heard that they don't like maps without Taiwan on, or something, and they get confiscated at the Vietnam/China border. I also don't know if I can blog past the great firewall of China, perhaps though some cunning proxy server using a blah blah blah jargon blah, hats blah blah blah flux capacitor.

Number of Times I've been Semi-Concussed So Far: 2

Apart from the Byron Bay incident, I have now just walked directly into a large shop sign, thanks to my ever tall height and the sweeping generalisation of Thai height. Upon removing hand from said head, and assessing the amount of blood, I thought it pertinent to return to the resort post haste before I looked like I'd been hit by a moped. One shower late, I'm not sure it had stopped bleeding, and it was stilling hurting, but it was pouring everywhere, so it's all good. My vision is fine as well, and I don't feet drowsy, just annoyed. I'm about to munch on a cheese and ham baguette though, so that'll solve all. It's MASSIVE.

Last night I finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which wasn't great and nearly sent me into a death-fearing spiral, but I started reading Do Andriods Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K Dick (or Blade Runner if you so desire). When I woke up, after a cool thai style brekkie of rice and pork soup, eges and fruit, I swam a bit but made sure I Washed out my eyes after, and finished Blade Runner at some point, possibly during brekkie. Went for a walk to fin dthe post office, which is about 1 km away, stopping off at net shop quickly en route. Sent off a parcel of goodies, walked back, brained myself on low flying signs etc etc.

I saw a book exchnage so I may check that out.

25th May 2008

Woke up at 6.30am, no one around so just dropped key on a random ledge. Got over priced transport (probably) to airport and checked in pretty easily. Had an awful burger king, no idea why I chose it, and then leapt on your tiny prop. plane, just 75 people, and very ornately decorated. We had a tiny brunch type package and before I knew it we landed at Samui airport where I was shunted to a hotel booking desk, chose somewhere called Hutcha Resort, which was cheap enough and on Mae Nam. After a moderate mini van ride I got there and was very impressed, and it would appear I was one of the very few guests there. Have a little fan cooled bungalow, with double bed and ensuite. I dumped stuff and went for a wander to take some photos while it was sunny. Resort is very nice, and only 2 people at the pool, beach is 20ft from the bar and the sand was scorching hot so had to scamper to sea while deflecting a massage request. Wandered back, got pool stuff, chilled by edge, went in and splooshed around getting sued to forcing myself not to breathe underwater. Got out and sunbathed while reading The Road, which is a bit odd and a tad boring. I'm sure it's poignant or something. Headed back and collapse on my bed for a while, dreamt of superheroes, woke up with blurry vision from chlorine and its still not fixed at 9pm even though I washed my eyes out! Bit worried/annoyed.

Went to explore town, saw a cool Chinese temple, and walked down the main street which is made up of restaurants, massage parlours and internet cafes. Found one and did some interwebs for quite a while, including blog and listen to the latest russell brand podcast, very funny. Walked back and grabbed a thai green curry, extremely yummy. Now chilling in restaurant/bar, only guest in here, very odd, couldn't communicate it to the waitress though. Sounds like the kitchen fell on someone and they sounded like a cat. Wish my vision was alright. I can focus close range, but everything else looks like when they do a really band dream sequence in Sunset Beach or Hollyoaks. With James Blunt playing in the background.

I'm not sure what I plan to do tomorrow, I guess the normal sun, sea and sound combo, but I don't fancy boiling to a crisp or burning to a hot liquid mess. Or something.

24th May 2008

Woke up at 7, and got down to dive shop surprisingly chipper. After a variety of busses we got on our huge boat with hot showers. Seeing as there were only 5 of us diving, much awesomeness. After our briefing and light breakfast, I spent the 3 hour journey to Koh Phi Phi finishing The Beach, very good book. Turned out I was diving one on one with dive instructor. Had a very good dive, got used to it straight away, saw some cool nudi branches, shrimpie things, puffer fish and the usual moray eels and clownfish posse. Had a really nice lunch between dives, then went to a new dive spot and I saw a bright yellow and very cute sea horse.

Boat ride back to the mainland was pretty boring as I had nothing left to read, but we had a HUGE platter of fruit. When we got back it was pouring down, and as our bus had no sides, we got soaked, so went back, changed, and bust out to Andaman Coffee to print out my flight info for tomorrow. Then had Thai from "the best Thai restaurant in town". Was realy nice actually and saw some guy fall off his scooter, which is why I won't get one. He looked fine though, as it was slow, but he had no helmet and was just in a t-shirt and shorts. Muppet. Headed back very stuffed to packed for an even earlier start tomorrow.

23rd May 2008

Holy moly, pudding and pie, I needed that sleep (until 10.30!), didn't get of hotel till quite late and had a nice Thai meal for lunch, black pepper pork y'all. Then found an awesome coffee shop called Andiman Coffee Shop, that gives you 15 minutes of free net time with every drink. Wrote some blog and journal and had a mocha plus a coffee. Then went on the beach (after visiting my DVD selling friend) and chilled on a sun lounger for the arvo until the sun set. I read vast amounts of Alex Garland's The Beach, which is something I really should read, especially if I'm going to Koh Samui, and it's really good. Smug that no one charged me for using a lounger, though the beach was mostly empty anyway. I got a smoothie from the coffee shop but it was far too sickly sweet. I saved money on dinner by eating what I had in fridge and bag. Watched Epic Movie, nicely didn't use brain power, was better than Date Movie, but still awful. Also saw some kids hero type film with the guy from home improvement and he was training a group of kids who had power, was quite enjoyable. Sleep for diving tomorrow.

22nd May 2008

Woke up, breakfast, packed and got to Karon beach surprisingly quickly, at least by 11 or something. Place I planned to stay (who didn't actually email me back), not only looked a bit meh, but it also failed to have a reception desk. So I perambulated to a nice looking place, though the crazy shouting woman made me sceptical so I asked to check out the room. Twas a paradise, so I was like:

Yes.

I desweated and chilled for a while, watching tele and noting my A/C, DVD player, wardrobe, fridge, kettle, ensuite and double bed before taking a stroll around my room. Oh the tribulations of a backpacker. I then actually ventured outside, melted, had a chat with a dive dude, found the beach, walked along, tried to buy 2 t-shirts, and some boardies, but failed to have any money, or at least enough. So I then broke my rule for thailand and went on the back of a girl's scooter to the atm and back. I survived, bought said merchandise, then bought Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark off of a rather sketchy man, but I'm sure it's legit considering how cheap it was. Ahem.

I bought some sandwich making supplies from the next door supermarket. Returned in a pool of sweat, and couldn't stop myself watching it while rehydrating myself. Ventured out again, internet, booked a Dive excursion for Saturday for Ko Phi Phi, which is nice and wandered around.

Showered, tele, blah blah, went out for dinner. To an Indian restaurant, yeah I have it in for my stomach, that I could see out my window. Only person in there at 7pm? Low season apparently. Chef cooked me up Lamb samosa even though it wasn't on the menu, very delicious. Had a lamb biryani and mixed veg curry for main. To which the waitress remarked "lamb lover" to which I didn't reply with "Don't phrase it like that Lady". And we didn't all laugh merrily. Food was great, a crazy Indian guy stared at me the entire time and I had to order a beer at the end to allow me the time to finish this. The things I do for the love of writing....

21st May 2008

Up earlish and had brekkie while some girls watched Sex in the City, not really a morning show. Then mostly been trying to organise what I'm gonna do next, and decided I'm not really well enough to do a live aboard so may just chill on Karon Beach and get some trips to the Similian Islands. Then fly to Koh Samui, then boat to Koh Tao then off to Bangkok. You really need 3 months for Thailand, it's foolish doing it this quick.

My stomach still hates me though and everything in the Juice Bar is very loud.

The greatest idea I came up with, since mixing water and electricity, was to try and walk to an outta town shopping centre that I was told could supply me with DVD/VCDs. This was quite an epic walk. Probably took 45-60min, though I'm not sure that the passage of time was consistent and I ended up drenched in sweat. Wasn't that bad though, better than trying to walk home from a random place in Orlando, Florida with my Dad. Anyway, the most contrasty thing was that after this walk of dodging diseased dogs, strange nauseating smells and mainly walking in the road, I came across a huge out of place western haven. A pristine shopping centre, with Starbucks obviously, over priced goods, people who open doors for you and then salute you (note: how do you politely acknowledge a salute?) and a 7 screen multiplex cinema. I sauntered around the shops, tried to dry off in starbucks, bought cloverfield, beowulf and rouge assassin VCDs on the cheap (but legal) and decided to catch Iron Man for 100 baht (1.66pounds according to my drastically revised exchange rate).

Seats were extremely comfy, I even remembered you had to stand up to honour the king before each film! (Thanks Rex). Film was really good and I saw a trainer for a weird film that stars the huge wrestler guy that Tony Jaa beats up in a temple that is on fire in The Warrior King, and it was actually advertised as such. After the film I had the worse pseudo-chinese meal ever, that was so sweetly sickly that I could have developed diabetes while sitting at my window cove.

Due to my unwillingness to walk back the way I came in case of dog attacks or moped attacks, I got (probably) swindled by a tuk tuk driver but it was very comfy and she didn't drive like a lunatic, like a certain Rex I know. Twas pretty late so just watched Rogue Assassin, which was generic actiony. Indy Jones was better.

20th May 2008: Phuket Town

One of the issues with my crazy dutch posh accent is apparently ordering Americanos in Asian cafes. Mainly that I pronouce it "uh-meri-carn-o", and they expect "ah-meri-caaan-o". Or something. It's totally tipping down and today's supercharged possibly unsafely high strength ibruprofen is wearing off a bit. Surely 1 tablet shouldn't be 400mg. You're allowed to take 3 a day apparently, after meals, while under doctor supervision. Well maybe not the last bit. But 1 of those, a strepsil, and vast quantities of water semi-repaired me this morning, as well as a cheap breakfast by the hostel.

A note on cheapness: Everything here is silly cheap. 1.5l of water is 16bht (20p). This coffee in a swanky coffee shop was 50p. My ensuite, fan cooled, double room with TV and DVD is 6 quid a night AND this is a touristic place.

Anyway, after my miracle recovery, I ventured out and soon blasted a path through to the post office, which was far too busy to attempt any sort of business deal, with so I wandered off. Up Phuket Road found Juice Internet where I blogged a bit, had lunch and a huge smoothie for less than 1 quid. Checked out Ocean Shopping and Robinson's shopping centre, batting away tuk tuk and bike dudes at every step. I also perfected a fearless technique to cross the roads with little difficulty. Haven't been offered a massage or a suit yet. Bought some trainer socks for 1/200th of a penny. I kid, but still cheap. Also got billabong and DC shirts in a random shop, where a woman was literally throwing t-shirts in my general direction for me to buy. Anyway, they cost as much as a gram of lint and I now have some t-shirts after foolishly giving far to many to Rex to take back with him. Damn you rex.

I meandered back to the hostel, added another night to my stay, dumped off my stuff, and explained the issue of my shower filling up like some houdini-esque escape trick. Went for a walk around to see some shrines and then had to scarper away from some crazy dogs. The skies fell and here I am in a cafe with some crazy singing girls and an english guy drying his shoes with napkins.

Apparently I can successfully order a croissant in a pseudo-french accent. Which costs 25p. And is huge!

Note to self: Check actual exchange rate and not use one you possibly made up in your head.

19th May 2008

On awaking today I discovered I had a combination of man flu and dolphin. Very groggy, no strength, aching, dehydrated, sore throat, and massive headache. After vegetating for a bit and eating some cold 7-11 nasi rice or something, I felt even worse. Decided that I had to take a taxi as I was too weak to do any complicated train tomfoolery, and it turned out train goes to wrong terminal anyway.

Hour taxi ride was a bit hellish, couldn't understand driver and was far too warm in there. Eventually, after passing the Malaysian F1 track, we got to the airport and I staggered around until, via some fortunate and random series of events, I found myself in the cramped departure lounge. Dying slowly. Eventually I got some Hersheys dark chocolate, which partially recovered me a bit, and I got some more food and lots of water from a cafe while walking around in circles. Plane was delayed, but when we did board, as I got priority boarding for $1, I got choice of seats, so sat near front for a quick exit. Flight went very quick (just over an hour) and I had some weird chicken, ham and liquid cheese sarnie. Bag was first off conveyor belt!

Shared a really really nice taxi with a random guy, so only cost 2.50 quid, for the 30min journey or something. Checked into hostel, really nice room with ensuite, TV and DVD player. Spent evening dying in bed, watching southland tales. VERY weird film. Fell asleep in a delusional state.

18th May 2008: Min Valley Mega Mall

Using varying levels of skill I succeeded in getting to the min valley mega mall, which included changing from the Sentral line to the Kommuter line. Well the LP was definitely right about the size of this mall, it's epic huge. But still their entire "IT World" section, of 20 or so shops, failed to supply me with a female to female USB adapter. The book shop also didn't have what I wanted, but I perused the mall for a while before catching the train back home and chilling. I plan to use some form of express train to get to airport tomorrow, which should prove interesting....

18th May 2008: More Weirdos

What, may I enquire, attracts crazy people to strike up inescapable conversations with me? After various wanderings, I spent far too long in the large bookshop here, got thoroughly lost and bought The Beach and Into The Heart of Borneo for travel related research purposes. I had a late lunch of rice, beef, spice, long beans and some other green veg I apparently chose and cruised into a net cafe to upload some photos and blog a bit. Within a few min a rather large snotty spluttering American gentleman heaved himself, via the back of my chair (which we all know I hate people disturbing when I'm sitting down), and into the chair next to me. After a short while he noticed I had a blog and it turned out he was a blogging government conspiracy nut that I had trouble escaping from. Especially after he found out I did a Comp Sci degree and therefore I spent some time showing him how to use blogger. To top it off he said he didn't like London.

Well then I flipped and drove his face through his monitor.

Course I didn't, I was nice, courteous, made informed comments, made exasperated facial expressions to the cashier, and supplied my contact details to him so in 6 months we could see if some government had intercepted and blocked our communications.

They were face details.

I'm now recovering over a mocha, sad in the knowledge that I barely caught up with my blog at all, and only in bullet point format. I also need a female to female usb adapter. Still it's all good fun. Looked at KT and KTs photos of their South American trip and realised I need to do more activities! For now, I'm off to Mini-Valley, or something.

18th May 2008

Ah, the curious intricacies of solo travel, which I am once more in the furry depths of. Waking in my windowless room, I showered under a warm trickle of water and pondered the day ahead. After which I bust up to get my free brekkie and booked my next hostel in Phuket, after some obligatory facebooking. Still catching up on birthday messages and photo uploads. Tried to work out a general time plan for Thailand, and failed, so gave up and decided to just wing it crazy style. Though I'm tempted by a live on scuba diving boat. I may just make Thailand a scuba diving hol. A bit like Malaysia. I got the fever.

Anyway, talking of cultural ignorances, once entering the central market, I was accused of such by a random Malaysian guy who initially chatted to me with a friendly tone. He then proceeded to deflame backpacking in general and specifically British backpackers, and on a strange tangent, my internet research skillery. This obviously led onto the natural course of civil conversation and he said he'd take me to the butterfly house. I said "No" and sauntered off after distracting him with an abstract witticism.

In real life I may not have appeared so eloquent.

I wandered through the vast collection of indoor market shops/stalls, which are far too organised and clean for a chinatown market. I settled on a maraca type musical instrument with the idea to collect musical instruments from around the world. Dropping it off back at the hostel and found out the post office is shut today (sunday) and tomorrow (public holiday), which sucks.

Made my way to the LRT, not before witnessing a guy who was about to get hit by a bus, leap majestically into a martial arts pose. Luckily, the bus driver didn't follow suit and just applied the brakes in a more practical solution. After a close shave with a train door, I made it to the KLCC, where I've wandered around trying to find things on my vast "to buy" list. Unfortunately, most of it is not available in Gucci or Rolex. On the plus side, by entering an empty coffee shop I have somehow made it popular and fill up. Must be my hair.

Rex and Ad currently in Doha, Ad still with his acoustically orchestral souvenir. Turns out this regular coffee is nearly half a litre and 7 times the strong.

17th May 2008: Farewell fools

• Got up early
• Nearly missed coach thansk to a gross locational misunderstanding
• Quite luxious coach this time, thankfully.
• Got to the big KL around 12 and got a taxi to times square.
  
• Based ourselves in Starbucks (after a horrendous KFC at Ad's request)
• Performed shopping shifts, wrote journal, used free net in SB
• Took Taxi to hostel
• Very nice and friendly, let the fools dump their bags in my room and it's very close to central market
• Hit up central market. Ad bought a stringed monstrosity.
• I got a magnet.... more stuff for rex to take back.
• Had some weird tea, meant to help boost brain and immune system.
• Dropped stuff off and worked out it only costs 160RM to get to the petronas towers. Did that.
• Went around shops, and found a funtastic bookshop
• Ate mixed grill kebab awesomness in a persian restuarant.
• Ad didn't feel like throwing up for once.
• Wandered outside, took LRT back.
• Chilled in room/tuned guitar.
• Said sad farewell to Rex and Ad.
• Used free wifi in room till late. Naughty.
• Decided Nokia N810 is greatest gadget ever made. So slept.
  

16th May 2008

• Faffed. Bakery: blueberry pancake and croissant.
• Went to golf course
• Rental shop shut. Stranded.
• Taxi back, got collars. Went in Galaxy Cafe and had a really bad salad and they put evaporated milk in my coffee :( Took taxi back to golf course.
• Played really bad. Lost lots of balls in rivers and the sea. Climbed cliffs to try and retrieve them. Was good fun though
• On way back we found little england, but the food was very expensive.
• Cheap taxi back
• Had Steamboat for dinner, which made Ad want to vomit his insides out, but me and Rex soldiered through, though it was all a bit slimy
• Used the internet for an extended period of time.
• Packed and slept.
  

15th May 2008: Alcohol strikes

Travelled back to Cameron Highlands. Had a croissant in the bakery on arrival.
In the evening we drank beer in a nice bar and watched some awful Divas DVD they were showing involving Tina Turner and Cher. Adam hates Brandy and thinks Tina Turner is a bloke.

That is all.

14th May 2008: Relaxtion Maxation

Relaxing day for Rex and I. Ad's last 2 open water dives. Faffed around a bit and then went kayaking in 2 person kayak. Rex crashed us viciously into a rock, similar to the time he drove me into a tree in a dune buggy, but he confounded matters even more by grounded our vessel on some rocks later on. He's a menace I tell you. All good fun though. Booked our boats, coaches and flights to a variety of travelling destinations.

We grabbed luncheon, I fed my cornetto addiction and we watched a bit of a really bad film. Spent the afternoon in hammocks ready The Complete Robot by Asimov.

In evening we walked down to the only bar on the island and had a few tigers as well as some very yummy food, and free birthday cake as it was one of the employee's dad's birthdays or something.

Wandered back past the film crew again and tackled our huge bill, splitting everything and the such like. Whole stay, diving, food and transport back to cameron highlands cost no more than 330 quid!

Packed and slept.

13th May 2008

My toes are half destroyed from crazy flippers, not much skin left to lose! Pain, Anguish + Happiness all rolled into a cute little ball.

Dup #1: Really bad! My bouyancy was totally off, and so not relaxed and ran out of air quickly. Pants.

Dup #2: Way better, muchos awesome, fun, even though photography is surprisingly insanely difficult underwater.

Had an extremely yummy Flora Bay Resort special burger, then my toes came back with avengence and it was hard to walk. Analysed our photos, and they weren't as bad as we previously thought. I showed Zamani a bit of photoshop tomfoolery and fixed some of Zamani's photos that were really good, just very red with the power of a magic filter, or something.

Tired. Dinner. Sleep. Adam encroaching on my soul in bed.

12th May 2008: More diving dives

Breakfast early again before diving activities. Ad being screwed over as couple doing his Open Water course still aren't here yet. We did (with crazy 1000+ dive couple, the woman wearing VERY bold lipstick for diving?!?! and two dutch lads):

• Deep Dive
• Wreck Dive (went down with performance panda and Zamani took some photos with him)

After doing some theory, I'm now an advanced PADI dive. Woo.
Rex and I wandered down the beach, and there was a camera crew filming some soap or something. Ad got some diving in finally. We decided to do the entire theory and questions for the Digital Underwater Photography course. Which took about 15 minutes and I wrote some unflattering notes regarding the foolishness of some of the questions.

Had dinner and various humourous events may have occured. Read and Slept.