10th March: Wellington

• Stroll through town and shops
• Cable Car up to the Cable Car Museum
• wandered around the Botantic Gardens
• Art Gallery. Crazy lie down show. Crazy film
• Went to Mr Buns on Cuba Street. Then TV archive on own (Flight of the Conchords + fruit juice)
• Got awesome QuikSilver hoodie. Gangsta-skater.
• Crappy 2nd hand bookshop
• Chillaxed in evening in perparation for early bike ride. Cinema and saw Juno. AWESOME.
  

9th March: Wellington

• In a rather organised series of events. Hit Te Papa (Museum)
• Volcano simulator. Outside garden. Whales.
• Crazy Junk shop. Maori stuff.
• Awesome music device. Brewary. Sassy Red
• Supermarket
• Cards.
  

8th March: Wellington

• Magic Bus: Mt Doom, Bulls, Parliament, Beehive, Mt Victoria (failed photo trickery)
• Arrived expertly.
• YHA was like a hotel
• Met Mark and Kelly in Molly's Pub (irish bar)
• Crazy talking box in street
• Welsh Bar, used to be a public toilet. Guitar dude, no clapping.
• Got cards and played with them.
  

7th March: Taupo

• Organisational Day
• Juice Bar
• Booked Ferry and Hostels
• Chilled at Lake and had semi-picnic. Began to rain.
• Pack and Save. Coffee!
• Evening: Food and watched American Idol, Singing Bee, Bridezilla with Mark and Kelly

6th March: Rotorua->Taupo

• Dusty (Magic Driver)
  
• Government Gardens
• Boiling Hot Mud Pit
• Lady Knox Geyser, farcical 10:15 display
• Thermal wonderland, L&P, food.
• Honey and wine tasting.
• Haka Falls (gay skaters)
• SKY DIVE EXPLOSION
• Nice hostel
• Bar with Dusty, Kelly, Mark. Beer. Fush and Chups.
• Destruction of toe
  

Hangi and Concert

Argh. Eaten so much. But had a fantastic cultural evening.

After returning to the hostel I met up with Kirsty and Sarah and after booking oru next two nights accommodation for Taupo, we decided to utilise our free beer/wine voucher for the pig & whistle. Jolly nice pub, chillaxed there for a bit before getting ready for our Maori hangi and concert night

It began just a block away, with some introduction videos to the Maori people and the evening. We then got on our bus with an awesome driver called Mark. He said hello/goodbye/thank you/etc in 52 different languages/accents flawlessly, and was in general highly hilarious. A worthy man on the bus was chosen, as chief, apparently being a rugby player is a must. Once we arrived in the village, we were treated to a traditional welcome, or a "challenge of peace". This involved women singing, and warriors performing and demonstrating their prowess in front of the chiefs from each bus. A peace offering is then laid out and a chief is selected to accept it.

Upon entering the village we were allowed to wander around, where we saw various demonstrations of traditonal methods, tools and weapons. Questions could also be put to the chief of the village. At the sound of a horn, we were led through to a little concert hall where we were treated to some amazing dances, songs and love stories. All maoris seem able to sing, dance, perform amazing hand-eye coordination, look scary but also be amazingly friendly at the same time. Next we entered the dining hall for a great hangi feast.

Hangi is the way the food is cooked, using heated stones in a pit. It's very similar to a big roast. The food was sublime though, potatos, carrots, lamb, chicken, fish, stuffing, mussles, salad etc etc. Dessert was passionfruit and kiwi pavalova, fruit salad, steamed sponge, custard and cream. Everything was buffet style and phenominally delicious. I finished off Sarah's veggie samosas as well. We washed it all down with New Zealand fruit punch and coffee.

The process of Hangi was then explained, then we perused the shop before the ending ceremony where we all stood, held hands and sang. The drive home was fantastic as Mark got each nationality to sing a native song and he led the singalong. Obviously we got God Save The Queen. Then at a round about he started singing " round the mulberry bush" and 3 of these massive coaches circled the roundabout loads of times, to much hilarity and blocking of all other traffic.

As we were dropped off, Sarah got a photo of Mark's tongue and we chuckled all the way home. Rotoura sure stinks more when it's not raining. Sleep time. Magic tomorrow.

5th March 2008, 16:00

Woke up today after a really cold night and some crazy odd dreams that made me believe I'd actually killed a load of people by running a boat so hard the propeller shattered. Anyway, met my suspiciously organised white water rafting pick up out side hostel. Took about 20 minutes to get to the HQ where we signed our lives away, got suited and booted, and headed down the river.

We got split into 2 boats, one of 6 and my boat which had 5 of us plus a guide dude. I got put in the front left cos I was the only guy and was probably a mug. Ini mini mieni mo sorted the other front person. We were safety briefed, what to do if flipped or we fall out etc. The way we traverse the rapids is by the guy yelling at us to paddle forward, or back, then the two of us at front have to paddle in unison and others follow us. Our guide was a pretty awesome dude and did some mauri river chanting before we went off to respect the river.

First test was a 1 metre and 2 metre waterfull drop, which we survived excellently, and participated in various victory shouts afterwards. We took some rapids in our stride, then flew down the 7 metre waterfull (where 10/20% of boats flip) perfectly, posed for a victory photo and cheered. Next our crazy guide made us go down some rapids standing up (which the other boat didn't do). He then suggested we go for a swim, which resulted in a flurry of clambering back in once next rapids came faster than expected. Finally, we did some "surfing" in the last rapid, which basically involved us at the front being totally drenched/drowned. Awesome.

After carrying the boat, on our heads, back to the van, I bought a CD of photos and we got dropped off back at the town. After inspected photos, you can see the entire boat and all of us were submerged at the bottom of the 7 metre waterfall. Sweet.

Had lunch and then decided to walk around Government park, which was really pretty and sun began to come out. I randomly ended up outside an Elizabethian building, that turned out to be the Rotorua Musuem. The first video/movie is worth the entry fee alone, all about the eruption here in the 1880s. Fantastic reenactments and "interactive elements". To top it off, and after confirming with the front desk, Bret from Flight of the Conchords is in it! Grand.

Rest of museum was good as well, mixture of old bath houses resotred, war/maori history and hot spring explanations.

Am currently sitting on waters edge looking out towards another Sausalito like town that I don't have time to see. Walking through the woodland next to lake, very nice. Must push on.

4th March 2008

The journey to Waitomo was uneventful, apart from a very scenic river stop and being starving the whole time. We reached Waitomo at 12, the home of the famous glow worm caves. Now, I had been down these when I was 7 on the tour and gentle boat ride, so I decided a more extreme was required. So enter black water rafting.

We got suited and booted and after a short ride in a raggedy old minibus, collected out rubber rings. A few comedy photos were taken, a small trek to the entrace was undertaken and we were briefed on the caves and various creepie crawlies. It turned out, black water rafting is kiwi talk for caving with a bit of water "drifting" and a few backwards falls. Good fun though, we got up and close with the glow worms, crawled mostly underwater through tiny gaps and saw some amazing rock formations. All the time our guide was taking photos and attempting to scare us with loud noises in the pitch black. On return to the surface we just got changed and got given our tomato soup when our new grumpy driver, Nigel, stormed in saying if we weren't on the bus in 5 min he'd leave without us. No time to get photos or anything.

Drive to Rotorua was average on coach and driver was crappy and the rain was torrential. Our Nomad hostel was nice and in the centre of town. I booked tomorrows activities and hit up a coffee shop that my hostel had given me a voucher for. Strong stuff. In the evening the hostel had an awesome quiz night, where Sarah, Kirsty and I were the Demon Llamas and didn't come last! We even got fake moustaches and I got lots of free beer, good hilarious times.

3rd March 2008

Well, I may have drank slightly more than I hinted at, and failed to wake up in time for my pickup(7.30) and therefore missed my magic bus. Error. Obviously I was quite annoyed at this fact, especially as I only gained an hour extra sleep. Staying calm, I booked an intercity coach to whitianga to catch up with the bus, as the next connection was 3 days away, which I couldn't afford to wait for. I wasted time on the internet and treked to the coach stop.

Journey was uneventful, apart from a very long wait at Thames, when I changed bus to a tiny mini bus. I arrived before the magic bus, booked in, and soon became known as the guy who missed his bus. To cheer myself up I got some "fush and chups" from a lady with scary gypsy eyes, and wandered along the beach front even though it was grey, cold, windy and deserted. As I got back to the hostel the magic bus pulled in, and the look on Luke's (the driver) face was worth it all. It was as if he'd seen a ghost. In the evening we had a gentle pint in a pub as it was Luke's birthday and he proceeded to be vastly crazy.

2nd March 2008

For out trip back to Auckland we had a new driver, Lefty, and I was actually booked on the bus for once. Lefty was good fun and jokey, so was a good ride. First stop was a random village which had some crazy kids show being filmed in it and Kelly, Kirsty, Sarah and I got some breakfast in a harbour side cafe. Next stop was Opononi and to watch an informative and totally hilarious video about Opo the gay dolphin, that played with residents for a year in the 50s. Took photos of Opos grave and statue, was fantastic.

After bidding farewell to Sarah, who was to do the amazing footprints night-time forest walk, we had a photo op just outside Opononi. We got the Waipana Forest and it was really wet, but we still visited the HUGE tree called Tare Mahuta, named after a story where some guy had to hold his mother (the earth) and his father (the sky) apart. After an incident involving the ordering of drinks, I was named Diet Coke by Lefty and his trainee driver Brian. We then became the cool kids on the bus...

On the next driving stint we played the now classic game of "Hey Cow" which only Kirsty and me volunteered for and consisted of shouting "Hey Cow" at a field of cows and who ever gets the most cows to look at them wins. Excellent fun. Before arriving at our next destination we drove through a very "inbred" town and Left dedicated the classic banjo yokel song to me. At Matukohe, Kirsty and I went into the awesome Pioneer Museum, with working wood processing machinery and reconstructions of houses in the 1800s.

Unfortunately, we had very little time there and our next stop was the city of Auckland, where the hostel were busy and the "fat camel" was our only sensible option. We agreed to meet the drivers in the bar at 8 and then wandered around town (mainly for Starbucks) with Kelly;s friend Lisa (essex).

Using various bouts of cunning, we acquired a table in the bar and had a few drinks. We met our driver for tomorrow, Luke, who was vastly insane and crazy. Met a few more randoms,as well as the bus drivers from today, and played a few drinking games. At some point we met a kid who had loads of free doughnuts, which Luke ate most of and we got some burgers as well. Great night and good fun.

1st March 2008

Today, Sarah, Ashley, Kelly and I went to Cape Reinga, though I nearly didn't as Glen failed to book me on it due to a mix up with dates. Weather was awful, and our first stop was a random Kauri forest which was apparently owned by the crown (i.e. The Queen). This meant when the queen came over, she wanted to see her trees, so they had to hurriedly build a walkway and lay a red carpet down. Obviously, there's no red carpet now, but we trudged around the magnificent trees, Sarah in her crazy white poncho.

Our next stop was at Taipa Bay to grab some food and take in the wet and windy view. I got some crazy awesome breakfast sarnie quite cheap and took some obligatory photos. After a bit more of a drive we arrived at the 90 mile beach, which we promptly drove along. It's actually only 60 miles long, due to guestimates, and is actually a classified highway. Which makes it the oldest highway in the world, as well as the newest (as its resurfaced every day). How we laughed. Bus coped with it fine as long as it drove on the hard wet sand. We stopped for a photo op. and it was mad windy. Then carried on towards the sand dunes, I had a great view the entire time as I was right at the front of the bus. To get to dunes we drove through what was basically a river running into the sea, crazy stuff. Piled out and scaled a huge dune, which had a raging swirling twisting wind on top, that DROVE sand in your skin, eyes, nose, ears, mouth etc. Quite painful. The sand boarding itself was only just worth it, but great fun, even though I was crap and screwed up the steering, resulting in a double 360 spin on the way down, crazy stuff. Another bus driver could go down so fast that he aqua-planed across the river at the bottom without getting wet! He was mad though.

After getting rid of as much sand as possible we carried on towards the end of New Zealand and Cape Reinga. The roads were so muddy and just dirt tracks that the driver managed to drift the 11.5 metre bus at one point! Great Fun. Once we got there, we took the incredibly muddy and windy walk to the lighthouse in Jandals. Kelly and I totally lost ours at various points and just walked bare foot in the end. By the lighthouse it was nice but felt like we were gonna be blown away and it seemed like some of the metal signposts point to international cities had been blown off! Crazy. We only just got back to the bus in time because of more Jandal issues.

On the way back we stopped at Kauri Kingdom, which is basically a big Kauri tree souvenir shop. Once we got back I just chilled and finished 1984 by George Orwell, great book. Read it if you can.

29th February 2008

First day of my magic super duper extreme New Zealand tour. Bus pick up was at 7.30, or something equally far too early. Met a girl called Kirsty while waiting and got chatting, she's from Reading. Our first stop on the way to the Bay of Islands was Sheep World, where Kirsty and I went straight in as it looked mega awesome. No one else went in, and it turns out Glen, the drive, told them it was shut because he's grumpy or something!

Had much humour in there though, utilising a 2 for 1 voucher and getting a bag of food, we played with sheep, goats, pigs, llama type creatures, ponies and a deer. Luckily, I've over come my childhood fear of all farm related animals, apart from maybe the crazy nasty pecky chickens.

Our only other stop was at Waitong, for a photo op. and we made it into Paihia at around 12.30. As we had the afternoon free, Kirsty, a girl called Sarah (england), a Canadian lady called Joanne and I decided to go on a cruise in the harbour that goes dolphin watching and through the "hole in the rock". Although we failed to see dolphins, was still good fun, the hole is pretty crazy and we decided to get dropped off in a quaint village across the bay called Russell (Sausalito/Devonport stylee). Kirsty, Sarah and I relaxed in a cafe with soem coffee/beer/wine and then visited the first church built in New Zealand. After playing on the beach for a while, watching a really cute puppy, we got the mega fast ferry back to the main town.

In the evening we all had booked a bbq, which was quite nice and then sat and drank for a while with Glen. Later on we moved to a more upbeat bar (Me, Kirsty, Glen, Kelly(England) and some guy called Craig) Was a good night, though Glen was a bit odd and suspicious. NZ beer was quite nice, though a waitress walked right into me and bounced off quite well.

28th Februrary

After a very noisy night, I woke up a bit late with little or no plan, so I randomly decided to cross the bay to the small suburb of Devonport. Was a bit early for ferry, so chilled in a cafe, t hat actually served americanos. Ferry was $9 return and quite fast. The Devonport ferry port has loads of little privately run shops, which I had a quick gander in before walking out into the blissful blue skies and sun. It's worrying the amount of San Francisco comparisons I've been making but this place is Auckland's Sausalito. Quaint, relaxed, beautiful and sunny. I wandered around the little shops, chilling int he number of 2nd hand bookshops and failing to find the two books I'm currently looking for.

I checked out my Lonely Planet and decided to trek up Mt Victoria in my flippity floppities. The walk up was great, blindingly hot and deserted. Views across the town and out to Auckland were amazing. After dawdlering for a while, I reaced the summit and chilled, taking in the views and playing on a "disappearing gun" battlement, that they had there. I took the shorter road down and grabbed fish (taikiki) and chips from a grumpy chippie and watched the world go by. Afterwards, I strolled along Duders Beach and Torpedo Bay, enjoying the Sun and some good music. I wasn't sure what to do at the end, so just carried on strolling up to North Point, the other extinct volcano in Devonport (after Mt Victoria). After a windy trek up past various battlements, I made it to the top and found a random hut (the old stone kitchen) with a film playing, about the fort there. Was interesting and gave my feet a rest for 15 minutes. After my descent, I wandered along the residential streets, admiring the beautiful houses and the sun. I grabbed the ferry back across and returned moderately triumphantly to the Hostel.

In the evening I played in a supermarket and ate in Revive again, but not before spending insane amounts of money on Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell. Books are shockingly expensive here, cheapest I could find it was $26.99!!!

27th February 2008

After various morning tom-foolery involving smoothies, I made my way to the Magic office to sort my life out. Within a matter of minutes I had booked a tour around the bay of islands and gained a huge pile of related leaflets and tree-based fun. Cunningly, I had a plan today and made my way to Discover New Zealand to get a free shuttle to Kelly Tarlton's Antarctic Encounter and Underwater Shambola. Turns out my brand new Lonely Planet is vastly out of date and woman there was quite disgusted at how much they ignore their emails. After a spot of sympathy I got a cheap ticket and the knowledge of how to get to Kelly Tarltons. I utilised public transport ($3.20) and got there pretty quickly.

I thought I'd come here when I was little, but I must have mixed it up with Brisbane or Christchurch Antarctic themed kiddie attractions. Was good fun though, saw penguins, a remake of Captain Scott's Antarctic base, and then went on a polar-mobile ride through the penguin lair. Twas quite scary at the end, especially on my own in this 10 seater box on caterpillar treds. Then saw all manner of Ray, sharks, and fishie beasts on a conveyor belt water tank tube, like in San Fran. I'm slightly worried I'm going to become less impressed with aquariums now I've been diving and that I go to far too many in every city I goto. Some of the lobsters were awesome though and the clown fish are always cute, hiding away in their anemones. After grabbing some food amongst a throng of short excitable people, I made my escape and spent a bit of time wandering along the water front before catching the $2 shuttle bus back.

On return to Auckland I made the executive decision to head to the Auckland Museum as it is tucked away beyond the uni and through a huge ark. The walk was great as it was such a beautiful day and I must have looked like a local as I got asked for directions twice, but answered successfully both times, bonus! Museum is an impressive building at the top of the hill and has 3 floors split in The Wars, Natural World and Maori type l'histoire. Seeing the WWs from NZ perspective was really interesting, and quite somber as well.

The walk back began the destruction of my feet by my flip flops, but was enjoyable to use the late light. I ate in a place called Revive in the evening, which sells a variety of healthy food, as I felt bad at the way I had been treating my body. Staff were friendly and not only did I have the whole place to myself but they played Norah Jones the whole I was there.

Chilled.

26th Februrary 2008

I suddenly got confused and thought it was August, late sunset and warm days really confuse me apparently. After finding Base Auckland successfully, I dumped my bag, paid for room with more monopoly money and ventured out into the glorious sun to experience the city. To get my bearings I headed straight for the tallest structure in the southern hemisphere, the Sky Tower. You can see it from all over the city and looks brand spanking new. I got some backpacker deal for observation deck and sky deck for $18. The view was amazing, visibility was perfect and I stayed up their for ages just chilling.

They have thick glass you can stand on and look all the way down. I obviously jumped up and down on it to test it's strength. The sky deck is a bit higher, but it's kinda bland up there. I decided that to make the most of the view I'd get a coffee and some chips/fries in their cafe. Rather than having "americanos" here, they have "long blacks", which are very black and suspiciously not long. Saw someone do the sky jump, which looked a bit pathetic, as although it's very high (198m?), they control your speed so it looked quite slow. Very expensive as well. I made my descent in a glass box at probably a faster speed and decided to check out the Metro, a shopping/cinema complex. It's great in there! All criss-crossing walkways, arcades, game shops, book shops and eaterys. Great fun.

I then headed over to Albert Park, which I saw from the heavens as I sipped on my titchy mug of pure caffeine. In the sunshine it was blissful, and I gathered the park was dedicated to Queen Victoria's Albert, as there were statues of her, and probably him. I chilled on a bench near a fountain and some palm trees.

For the rest of the daylight I wandered around randomly, through the very pretty but somewhat empty Transport Centre and then along the harbour side. There was a fisherman's wharf ala San Francisco with nice bars, restaurants and a Hilton at the end. I chilled at the end of the wharf for a while, looking out to the various islands in the bay. In the evening I did nothing of mind-blowing fantasmagorical nature, apart from hit up a very English style supermarket (none of this strange American excuse for a supermarket) and caught up quite successfully on my blog. My time is so off because it only gets dark at 8.30 or something, and so I was last to go to bed in my room.

Brand Spanking New Zealand

With immense skill I managed to wake up 3 minutes before my shuttle was meant to leave after ignoring my alarm completely. Once more I defied all the odds and was already packed so just sprinted to the front door. It would appear the all encompassing definition of Fiji Time also includes being extremely punctual. I made it though and took the crazy ride while being slightly comatosed.

I swooped through check in and security, and ordered a crazy chinese salad which spiraled into me playing chicken with our boarding call, while I waited for it.. When I finally got on, it turned out I had a seat by the emergency exit door, with no one next to me! Awesome. Though escape hatch looked quite battered as if it's seen use before, interesting. We got a nice breakfast (has brown, omelette, sausage, croissant and fruit) and I watched The Game Plan for the 2nd time. It's starting to destroy my soul. It would appear the nitrogen in my blood hasn't expanded and killed me, though I had exceeded the minimum delay time before flights (of 18 hours) but only just.

We're just descending toward Auckland. I miss cities. At least westernised cities. Apparently NZ is an hour ahead of Fiji, which makes the time difference for home not 12 hours. Confusing.

Shark Battle Royale!

In a humourous fashion it would appear my ink isn't waterproof. No matter. Today was the day of the infamous shark dive. Woke up early and checked out. Met two guys while waiting who were also to be collected for the shark diving crazy times (steve and mikel). Once we arrived we were briefed, and 3 girls there had been on manta ray island and were at the same poultry level of diving skills as I was. On the website, they suggest that you should have done 20-40 dives plus deep dived. We had done 6 dives and only to a max of 18 metres. It was apparently fine though, as 8 dive masters were going down with 10/12 of us, perfectly safe. We sorted out our equipment, which included a wetsuit, that thanks to Steve, I didn't put on backwards.

The dive is actually split into 2 dives, an inital dive where you dive to 30/31 metres, and crouch behind some coral as the feeders start enticing loads of fish, including some massives ones to come along. All this is about 1-2 metres away, after 17 minutes we retreat up to another dead coral ledge at 17 metres and we began to see 1 or 2 grey tipped reef sharks. After a bit longer we went up a more, and were about a metre away from some grey & black tipped reef sharks. Reef sharks are about 1 to 2 metres long, and seemed quite docile. After returning to the boat, we had an hour surface interval with tea and cookies. Steve told me about lots of cool sounding wrecks from WW2 off the coast of Scotland.

The second dive was only to 10 or so metres and involves the big guys. 3 to 3.5 metre bull sharks, about 8 of them, huge mouths, looked quite ferocious and they were all about 2 metres from us. Lots of other fish and reef sharks around. Great fun and I bought a DVD of the dive to be sent home for mummy to watch.

After being dropped off, Steve and I grabbed lunch while discussing various diving related tomfoolery. I then had to wait for my coach back to Nadi. When I got on it, it was fully packed, but very quickly there were only 3 of us going all the way to Nadi. I spent most of the journey watching episodes on my Zen. The evening consisted of chatting with all the Skylodge staff, who still remembered my name, washing and drying clothes (thanks to the mystery person who folded ALL my clothes, you are legendary), eat some crazy lamb dish, typing up loads of my blog, and swapping my entire dark materials books for a crappy selection of books. I also bumped into Boran again, who was pretty flustered as he had left his passport on Mana island, had a flight in the morning and couldn't get hold of anyone anywhere important. Scary stuff.

Meanwhile I hid from a gaggle of 26 Norwegian overally excited girls.

Look for the nines....

I've just seen one of the best films ever on my phone of all things, while surrounded by frogs. It's called The Nines, and stars Ryan Reynolds. I'd rate it up there with Brick, though only icelandic dan has seen that to appreiciate it's awesomness. I've failed to do much today except pootle around, go in the sea, go in the pool, read my book and overuse the free internet. I'm pondering going on a day jet ski trip with lunch and snorkeling. It's 83 quid though, which I could use in Nz or Oz, but I feel bad not doing anything and there's jus tnothing to do on Sundays here. Monday is my shark dive and trip back to Nadi, some how. I just ate a really nice Cos salad with crispy bacon and chicken AND got a free beer as waiter forgot about me. I wasn't too fussed because I could finish film. The waiter scares me somewhat. Not sure if it's the crazy eyes or constant disconcerting smirk/grin on his face. I've discovered the high quality paper of this journal is actually semi-water resistent. Bonus Points!

Pacific Harbour

The trip down to pacific harbour was quite enjoyable, just over 3 hours, was a small bus that struggled up some hills, but was air conditioned and I listened to a vast amount of music on my Zen. Although I was shattered, I went down to the bar where I got chatting to an Indian guy who bought me a drink and wanted to invite me back to his place to meet his wife. Even in my comatosed state I slyly avoided that one.

I ate dinner with a random collection of Americans, Australiens, English and Irish. Was alright but they had already set into their group and I didn't feel overally socialable. We had 1 or 2 beers and called it a night at around 10.30, and I checked facebook on the free internet. Yay! Now I can actually type up my journal, which may take some time. I slept alright, though some weird dreams.

Today is cloudy, I can't do white water rafting because of the cyclone 2 weeks ago so not sure what to do. I may venture into the pool that I have yet to see anyone go into.

sleepage

I've spent far too much time on the internet. And I'm shattered. I did managed to book into an awesome hostel and get the crazy shark dive package today. The bust to get me there comes at 1, is about a 3 hour drive on an air conditioned bus to pacifici harbour. I stay there 3 nights, then back to Nadi for my last night. In the skylodge as everyone knows me here and is like "Bula Tom!" and I'm like "sup guys", and the hilarity continues. In the mean time I must stay awake and not forget my scattered possessions.

I would like to point out, I have already accelerated past sir rex-a-lot's post count from his travel blog. Unfortunately, what I win in quantity I lose in quality, coherency, photographic elements and factual knowledge. You win this time rex *shakes fist*

Kava Part II

Even my prowess as a linguistic mastermind cna't fill today with gmystery, intrigue, excitement or suspicious bakery products. The day can be summarised as food, hammock, leaving song, boat ride (avec playing cards), bus ride (avec rain), and a splishie splashie in the pool.

However, from here, it gets interesting. Soon Mr & Mrs Dave, Amie & Rachelle met me by the pool. We chilled and ate dinner before discovering it was Kava night at the hotel. So we joined hte large circle (10+) and drank kava and chatted with a big Fijian called Si. Only Dave and I seemed to like the Kava and were given huge coconut shells to drink out of! Were told we should wash down with beer to keep us awake. Si then taught us a cool version of trumps that 4 players play and you team up with the person opposite you.

Amie and I played Si and a cool dude from Ireland (Boran). I think overall we won more times via crazy eye and eyebrow movements. Me and Boran were last to go to bed and chatted for ages about Oz and stuff. I couldn't sleep cos of crazy Kava, so at 3.30 I went on the net for 2 hours, came back and at about 6.30 3 guys managed to make the most noise ever recorded with 3 bags for 15 minutes. Argh

The Resort.

In my busy schedule of living in hammocks and underwater, I forgot to mention or describe the lovely manta ray island resort. With it's own white beach, lined with palm trees and hammocks, the water is prefectly clear and teaming with a diverse plethora of colourful fish and related ocean paraphernalia. There's only one dorm on the island which holds up to 32 people and is connected to the office, showers, main bure, and dive shack by winding paths through thick forest. Each bed has a much needed mosquito net and is relatively comfortable apart from lack of air con. Meal buffets are served in the main bure, where the bar is also located and a small collection of awful CDs are played on rotation. The main bure is the highest accessible point and a great place to meet fellow travellers who are melting from the heat. Showers are cold but very welcome in the eat and the toilets are compost toilets, which is ecological speak for holes in the floor. Overall it's an awesome place, I love it, great people, good scuba diving and friendly staff. Opinions on the food differs, but I loved it, as long as you avoid chicken, as it's all bone.

Shortest Post Ever

After chillaxing in a hammock for the arvo, I felt more tired than before and slightly groggy. We checked out sunset beach and then Steph, Jo, Amie, Rachelle and I had a drink before dinner and then stayed chatting until we collapsed from tiredness. Wow this post is shockingly short.

20th February, day time fun.

Woke -> Breakfast. Then Amie, Rachelle and I took a boat to a local Fijian village and were lead around all over it. Mainly their primary school though, where we were seemingly forced into each classroom to chat to the kids. It was great fun though, kids were so enthusiastic, loved having their photos taken and their english was very good as all lessons, except Fijian, are taught in English. The kindergarten was really cute, all the kids were clambering over us and wouldn't let go of my hand when they shoot it! They sang us a welcome song and "if you're happy and you know it". Afterwards we saw their church, some weaving and the boat dude came along and mocked me somehow. All very confusing. We got ushered around a hall of women selling bracelets and things. I got away with just 1 necklace. Fools be crazy.

On return I kayaked, hammock chilled, ate lunch, interneted (to find people though I was dead) and then overheated so came up to the main bure to cool down, drink and write in my magic book. You lucky lucky people. I need a dive log cover.

One day I shall learn to keep my eyes open in some photos, I'm turning into Earl Hickey.

Forgetting to take photos is stupid.

Had dinner and watched some cool fiji dancing. Cool woman dances and crazy scary warrior dances. Slightly disorganised but fun. Then they tried to get us to dance, but we were far too quick for them. Afterwards Amie and I played cards, as Rachelle was feeling ill from lack of food and the food she does eat screws with her stomach. I, on the other hand, just scoff vast quantities of it so it drowns in itself and can't attack me. Good stuff.

Course complete

Currently relaxing in a hammock, writing this, listening to the fratellis and nursing my various sun and mosquito related injuries. Today we did our final 2 boat dives and have become qualified divers in less than 48 hours?! And we went with a guy called Jamie, who was even less attentive than Matt. We went down to 25 metres at one point when you're only meant to go to 18 on the course. Good fun though, was a bit murky and bland, but we saw a turtle and a Napoleon Wrasse. After lunch, Amie and I went down to the beach and watched a cool Fijian farewell song before chillaxing. Sorry detail on dives is sketchy, but writing on a hammock is awkward.

18th February 2008

After responding to the breakfast drums at 7.45, we discovered we had 3 dives today. All still down the beach, but it's so clear and beautiful, tis great. All the time we're doing various skills along the way like removing all aspects of our equipment underwater, clearing masks, pivot floats etc. We did our first dive at 8.45, and then our 2nd was just 15 minutes after it! Luckily current wasn't as strong as yesterday, (when we had to link arms and swim as a well oiled fishie machine). We had a break for lunch and hammocks, and did our final dive. By this time we're all very burnt by the sun through the water and my neck is red raw from the 3 hour boat trip yesterday. After some more hammock time, we met up with Matt to learn and do our test which was a total farce. We did some odd note taking to fill up some lines from an "answer sheet". Then we had a 50 question exam where we could chat about it and even ask him questions. Pretty ridiculous.
Evening spent mostly with Steph, Matt and another girl. Matt is a really crazy guy, with an odd sense of humour and you're never quite sure if he's lying or not. Good fun though.

17th February 2008

Woke up at 6 to get my 7am transfer to the port. As I was in a rush I just slammed in everything haphazard like and scoffed down my breakfast like crazy. Unfortunately it turned out the bus was running on Fiji-time, so it didn't get to us till 7.20. Met up with Amie and Rachelle after their crazy card rental trip to the coral coast. After some portside faffing with my tickets, we got on the catamaran and began our 3 hour journey past islands of idyllic beauty. Some were so tiny you could walk around them in 5/10 minutes. Others had towering rocks and craziness associated with them. During the ride we mostly burnt, burnt like the very bonfires of hell. Which became our discomfort for the next few days. As we were approaching our island, grey storm clouds gathered and vast quantities of water descended heavily down on us. As soon as we checked in and signed all our rights away, the rain ended.

We then had a briefing about all things island related and then had a chat with a dive dude and signed more of our rights away. We were then slightly shocked to find out our first dive was to be after lunch! Lunch was a nice buffet style meal and we chatted to two girls that were on the same boat as us. Welsh Jo is doing an advanced diving course and German Stephani is the only other person on the course. Our first dive just introduced us to the basics of diving and a few skills like regulator removal and buoyancy control (and equalising). Water is amazingly clear, fish and coral are beautiful and full of amazing colours. We went to 7 metres for 37 minutes. All seems not too hard, Matt, the instructor, is quite a chilled our Aussie who speaks a lot like Owen Wilson. Afterwards I had a little Kayak around the bay.

Dinner was buffet style and afterwards we had a few crazy cocktails/beers and chatted with a welsh couple, Alex and Julie, about everything from travelling to football. It was then I discovered Man U beat Arsenal 4-0... sucks. They told us of a time when a group of irate Columbians took over an airport and all the staff ran away!

Cockroach Catastrophe!

Had a fun night tonight, was chillin by the pool when across the other side something fell from a tree, surprising some dude and made him edge away. Well as the curious cat I am, I went to investigate, and it turned out to be a finger length cockroach. Great fun, so me and the guy (Eddie from Hertfordshire) struck up conversation, and it took us 15 minutes to get the courage to flip the poor critter over again. He was carrying an injury from his epic fall so failed to launch a full scale attack on us and limped off quite forlornly. Anyway, me and Eddie then shared some jugs of fiji beer and chatted with 2 of his room mates, Kate and Claire from Brighton, for the rest of the night. As usual, everyone is doing the same Fiji -> Nz -> Oz -> beyond trip, so may meet them later.

Tomorrow: Manta Ray Island.

A recap for your hat mac

Past few days have merged a tad and I feel I need to make a vague sweeping arc of clarity. Or something. On top of the 3 girls I met before, I met an American girl, who I've chatted to many times, possibly called Alexis. She suggested the garden of the sleeping giant and the services of Johnny taxi man. Might bumping into her in NZ, as she is going there after the Solomon islands. I also met 2 English girls, Natalie (Coventry) and Laura (southend) and we chilled one of the nights. they took 4 hour coach journey to Suva yesterday, just for a day trip. They're also hitting NZ and Oz, I think. As is Everyone!

I think the power of deet as an insect repellent is extremely overated, and my left foot would agree whole heartedly. So my plans? well I'm going to Manta Ray Island for 5 days to get my diving certificate, woo! Then on way back will stop off at bounty island, I suspect. After that I'm unsure of my plans but I need to book my last night, the 25th, in the skylodge, for airport ease.

Blam.

Latouka

I wandered around the streets of Latouka for a while, which is quite different from Nadi. Much less tourist orientated, in fact I was the only white person in the whole city it appeared. People were friendly but didn't try to scam or bug you. It may have been my evil squinting eyes due to the swimming pool, though I have learned it's a common misconception that it's the chlorine. when it smells of "chlorine" and hurts your eyes, it's actually a lack of chlorine. More reliable information on your local internets. I appear to have put Latouka photos on the previous post, oops. Here's one for the road:

Anyway, I found a park that was next to the ocean/bay, and chilled in the splendour and the blinding heat. 3 rolled around and I met Johnny for the long trip back. Good fun. I'm now relaxing by the pool with a cold beer.

It's a hard life.

Latouka tour...

After chatting a while with New Yorkian Alex last night, I drifted off into a nice slumber, with only a few additions to my crazy bite count. In the morning I grabbed another Skylodge lite breakfast (2 toast, orange juice, cornflakes, coffee, plate of guava, for about 2.66 pounds) and then leaped majestically into the pool, which had just been chlorinated. Needless to say I still can't see too well now, which is a bit worrying, but at least the pain has gone. I researched tourist traps on the interwebs and showered before going to talk to my pal Johnny. Organised a day chauffeur driven tour for 20 quid, which was quite good.

Went to the garden of the sleeping giant, which is an amazing place at the base of a mountain (the sleeping giant_. Though I realised I'd only bought a micro sd to sd adapter with me, I used my cunning and whipped out my micro sd card from my phone and put it in my camera. After wandering around a while, I got free guava and passionfruit juice, which is amazing. Yummy. Ended with a short walk around the other side and returned to Johnny. He then took me to a village (Viseisei Village), where the first fijian landed 3500 years ago. It's very Fijian, and a woman greets you and takes you around the village (pop 350). My guide was Tanya, and she showed me the chief's hut, their church, memorial and many tables with traditional merchandise.

Random Facts:

• White meat tastes nicest, they even ate clothes of the missionaries. Tastes like chicken.
• 6 tribes (warrior, fisherman, spokesman, chief, carpenters, ....)
• Warrior tribe are like police, still give beatings.
• They used to bury the Chief with his favourite wife (while she was still alive!)
• Tanya is in the spokesman tribe. Everything in the village is shared, i.e. if you buy a TV, everyone uses it.
• There are 300 dialects of Fijian around the islands

I bought a cool bracelet device, gave her a "donation" and left with Johnny. On the way he also gave me various facts:

• Train line is only used during sugar cane harvest, very narrow gauge and mostly overgrown/tarmaced over etc, which has to be cleared every year. Train goes to Latouka where it is processed.
• Pine trees -> wood chips -> china/japan -> paper
• Pot holes in the road are from the crazy rain, especially from the cyclone that they had 2 weeks ago.

We headed quickly to a beach on the way to Latouka, which as it was high tide had only a metre of beach. Lots of debris from the cyclone however. Now in Latouka, 2nd biggest city, seems nice. Currently in a chinese where I think they hate me are are playing tunes like "Angels", "Time of my life", "Brick In the Wall" etc, very old skool., I got a whole pot of chinese tea for about 60p. Currently waiting on sweet and sour pork and lamb friend rice. I wish the pages of this book were waterproof. I'm meeting Johnny at 3 somwhere random, I'm sure I'll never find again.

Kava 101

I grabbed a taxi ride in with Jonny, and poorly haggled (I imagine) to $5 for the trip, which seemed worth it as it was a couple of miles and he was jolly nice. Arrived in Nadi, and got ushered into a shop, which I promptly exited from. Wandered around, past a Nandos! and said bula to many people on the way. A random guy greeted me, and we chatted for a while and he invited me in to show me "what he does". Obviously I followed, seeking adventure, intrigue and scam artists.

His name was Mike and I met Moses, so we took off our shoes and sat down on a woven rug/mat. Then I had a traditional Kava welcoming ceremony involving various clapping motions and drinking kava, a drink made from ground up kava pepper root. Guy reckoned it tastes like black coffee, Lonely planet says murky medicine, others say muddy water. I thought it was pretty nice, possibly as the guy said coffee. We chatted for a whle about my life, football and traditional Fijian ways and he showed me some newspaper clippings, including the queen drinking Kava, the crazy girl. They then "let me" browse their cool little store for a while and due to my traditional English guilt (even though they told me I'm Fijian now) I chose a cool little musical wooden percussion device. We chatted some more around the bowl, while they attempted to sell me a Kava set and some other Fijian artifacts. I got my lupa, or something, engraved with Fiji 2008, and then Thomas Baker.

You may be thinking "Wait a minute Tom, although your typing and spelling ability are legendary, it would appear you spelt your name wrong". Oh loyal reader, to the contrary, the Fijian people have an obsession with ignoring that little "r" in my name for a good reason. In July of 1867, Rev Thomas Baker was murdered, cooked and consumed while trying to spread the Christian message in Fiji's highlands. Seven Fijian converts who were helping the 35-year-old missionary penetrate the mountainous interior of Viti Levu island were also clubbed to death, their bodies cut up on flat rocks and roasted all over an incident involving a comb. Anyway, when anyone finds out my name here, they begin apologising frantically, and I have to calm them down.

A cool guy called Joseph, who reminded me exactly of Will Smith, took me to an ATM and I grabbed cash. He was really chatty and his English was extremely good. Once we got back we had ANOTHER bowl of Kava, "one for the road" apparently. In the end I had 6/7 coconut shells of Kava! Good fun. Some more suckers customers appeared and I bid them all farewell. I wandered to a Fiji-Indian restaurant and got a really tasty goat curry with all the trimmings. Carrying on, some guy attempted to entice me into a bar but ran off into a supermarket. After grabbing some cheap supermarket water I returned home via a random taxi man.

Wait, Joseph stole my pen!.

Fijian Arrival

mmmm fiji, After an excessively long flight we landed moderately successfully to the sounds of traditional fijian music and big warm smiles. As it was 5am I wasn't the most alert individual but I did manage to get my bag, some Fijian dollars and found the pickup point for crazy skylodge people. Ride was cool, met a load of girls and we puzzled at the random stop the driver did outside some ramshackle shops. After a palava at reception, I was the only one whose booking was on the computer AND had a room ready. Turns out it's awesome, 4 bed dorm, ensuite, spacious and at that point, was just me. I couldn't be bothered to sleep so I went out and grabbed some breakfast at the bar with 3 of the girls form the shuttle. One is French-Canadian (Marie), others are english, Amie (Sheffield) and Rachelle (South Kent). And now I'm bored of writing...

Well, after eating a pizza and a McDonalds I had to get through security before I ate anymore and exploded. I did finish A Subtle Knife and began The Amber Spyglass first though. I'm now sitting outside a random gate, as it's empty, near a water fountain and has comfy seats. I've set my phone alarm in case I accidentally drift off into a pleasant slumber.

At some random point I looked up and out the window earlier, and was unable to see further 5 metres which initially scared me as I thought that smoke from some crazy fire had done it, but I suspect it was crazy instant fog.

I'm proud, for the first time I've actually sat down and enjoyed writing a large incoherent mess of words. Maybe my lack of listening to music for the soul has stuttered my writing enjoyment. I hope that's not fire I see on the hills yonder! Think I've discarded strict budgeting as it seems a bit inflexible, involves effort and I've already lost track. And I've never been a fan of practicalness. Or real worlds.

LAX

urgh. As some people would have expected, my powers of insomnia cannot be manipulated or bent to my very will. And hence, this is why I'm shattered at a quarter to 4 in the afternoon, gazing glassy eyed out on the hot LA tarmac, watching the air shimmer in agreement with the beastly flying machines. Waking at 5, I made my way successfull to the airport, where I went through all the traditional motions associated with air travel, involving the US. I had just finished The Northern Lights (The Golden Compass), the first book in Philip Pullman's "The Dark Materials" trilogy, and felt the need to buy the last two. I am now carrying far too many books with me for any sensible traveller, I must begin trading, though I hate parting with my novels, especially as everything I find in Hostels is mediocre in comparison.

Anyway, after boarding the tiny Alaska Airlines' 737, I barely noticed the entire journey, so engrossed I was in The Subtle Knife, that I didn't realise we were landing until our wheels caressed the tarmac. Though, with apparently unconscious effort, I took some truely stunning photos of the sun drenched clouds at 15,000 feet. I also admired how tiny the Hollywood sign appeared to be.

In an apparent random sequence of events, I found myself outside without showing my passport to anyone. I'm under the illusions my baggage will be transferred automatically, which I hope is true. Weather: Perfect sunny day, no clouds, not quite the climate for a t-shirt, micro-fleece and emo hoodie.

To cut a tedious story short, I've spent the last 5 hours wandering around the international terminal and have only just now resorted to a coffee and my zen. I've had Chinese for breakfast, used the expensive internet kiosk for an hour, been harassed by a monk, played with some art contraption, read Wired magazine and attempted to find some dice for purchase.

Am currently watching the planes take off. Earlier Rex and I discussed small vs large planes, with Rex preferring smaller ones as they seem less likely to plummet to some crazy Bermuda triangle style disastrous conclusion. Tom, on the other hand, prefers the brute force, hardcore style of a 747, which is basically a lesson in daring physics to try anything. which it rarely does. Saying that, smaller planes seem more fun.

I wish there was some form of noticeboard or bluetooth social network to find people in the same crazy infinite waiting situation I'm in. I blame Sam from STA travel mainly, and my unquestioning trust. Maybe the small children running around me will be my friends, they're playing with some cool toy aeroplanes. though, I suspect they don't fully grasp what it represents, and a potato would be a preferable substitute.

Then I could have a toy.

Bridge and moisture

Unfortunately, there are no photos yet, as I'm typing this from LA airport, but shush, don't tell anyone. Kai and I woke up in time for breakfast, and on further inspection of the weather, decided to wait an hour or two for the rain to ease up. It didn't, so we gave up and braved the crazy weather anyway, luckily I had my cunningly small to store rain jacket, which I utilised with a suspicious intent. We we got the sea bus station, bought a day pass and then just got on the boat in time, with about 20 seconds to spare! Boa was incredibly slow, but was fine. We felt peckish so explored the nearby indoor food market, where we got "chips and gravy" which were an odd cross between real chips and fries.

Found the bus to the Capilano suspension bridge, and endured the slow ride, with the world's most annoying sounding windscreen wiper ever.We finally got to the bridge, I somehow got in as a youth with one of my crazy cards, and we went in. Then my jaw hit the ground. Then I wandered around with a huge grin on my face, while Kai was totally freezing, I was too excited to care about the cold. The view was amazing! and walking across the suspension bridge over the valley below was amazing...

[the rest of this post is available for a one off free of $1 trillion.....and/or ineed to get off this airport kiosk because it turns out to be expensive, more later!]

Continued: The rain, mist and everything amplified the beauty and greenery of the trees. We went up to the tree top adventure, which are a series of connected bridges high up in the tree tops, which you can walk along. Good fun. At this point Kai was turning to ice, so I forced him to go along the cliffhanger walk, along the side of the valley, was excellent, though even my hands were beginning to fail in the cold. So going back across the bridge, and playing in the shop momentarily, we caught the bus back to the ferry port, and crossed the river/bay/puddle via StarBucks. Kai then took me to a cool Mongolian near Stanley Park, where you can make your own stir fry, from 4 types of meat and loads of veg buffet style. You then mix your own sauce, either following their recipes or freestyling it, as I kinda did. The guy at the end of the buffet then throws it on a huge circular metal heating device, and fries it for you. All for $6, and it tasted great. As I was leaving in the morning I decided against anything crazy at night, and started/continued reading the Golden Compass, which is very good. Must wake up at 5am tomorrow morning *screams*

The solution to all

After grabbing some really nice take away Thai (I got a Yellow Curry), for a ridiculously cheap price, we returned to ravenously munch it down in the hostel. We decided to attempt to get tickets for Matt Costa, but once we walked there it turned out it really was sold out, much to our disappointment. The night turned into a hunt for beer, though we got pointed to a cheap beer place by a random homeless guy who tried to sell us drugs initially. Apparently it was $10 for a pitcher, though suspiciously it turned out the pitchers had a huge lump of plastic in the middle to reduce their volume. Still worked out cheaper than the other night, so we had two and chatted about diving and general travel. Good fun. On way back we went back in Lennox pub from the other night for 1 more and watched the end of another Ice Hockey match, which the canucks actually won via a shootout. Heading back, we stopped in another pizza place and started chatting to a random Canadian dude about his fries, which are some sorta Canadian tradition, but just seemed like Cheesy chips with gravy to me.

This morning, it's vastly wet outside, which sucks for Capilano, but last day to do it anyway. Had breakfast, and were joined by a cool French-Canadian called Pascal, who seemed nice. Now we're waiting for weather to ease up a bit, and to take the ferry then bus to Capilano.

Woke up earlyish and we grabbed some brekkie. Good stuff. Dining room was quite busy, mainy with the people who had come to see the ice hockey yesterday.

Our plan for the day was too attack the seabus and play on the Calipano Suspension Bridge. However, as we were walking out, Kai spotted that the Chinese New Year Parade was on. So quick change of plan, after investigating the seabus station and wandering through GasTown, we made our way over to China Town.

Unfortunately, we did this through E.Hastings, which I can assure you is crowded with crazy and homeless people. Slightly scary but mostly sad. Once we got to China Town, just 1 block away, we found a good place at the front and waited for the show to being. Though we were an hour early... no matter, we watched all the dragons and people get ready, and laughed jovially at their horrendous level of organisation. There were some extremely cute and small kids with cymbals though, so all was good. The parade started and it was very good, crazy jumping dragons, walking mobile phones, cool dancers and a scottish bagpipe band... who may not actually have been Scottish at all, but they were wearing kilts and the such like. Part way through we started chatting to two girls who went to a university that was up a nearby mountain! Major coolness. Dina, from East Canada, and Rebecca, who strangely enough was from Germany, except her English was amazing and she had a Canadian accent. We bonded over a lack of umbrellas when it began to rain, and my phobia of them - even though I had one. Anyway after chatting for a while and sharing all the free stuff we kept being giving we decided to find somewhere to eat.

Eventually, after battling the crowds we found, what looked like a nice Vietnamese restaurant with little wait. After ordering, which consisted of me randomly pointing at something after panicing, we had a horrendously long wait. We chatted about all manner of things, was very enjoyable, then the food arrived, and it looked cool, except I had a small forest on my plate. Rebecca also ended up with something pork based that looked horrendous, and we got it changed for something that was similar but less horrendous. My leaves were suspiciously not edible, but I ate them anyway and they smelled/tasted like lavender, though Dina disagreed and reckoned they were sage. Twas humourous times, and we spent quite a few hours in there. Afterwards we bid our farewells, swapped facebook info, and Kai and I headed back to the hostel.

Turns out the dude we were gonna see tonight (Matt Costa) is all sold out, so we may just grabbed a Thai or something. In the mean time I wandered down to sunset beach, as the skies cleared and I watched the sun set there while reading my book, which I've now finished! Was a beautiful sight, but it began to get extremely cold, so after playing for a while on the rocks, and returned triumphant to the hostel.