31st July 2008

Went to Great Wall today, following the Step-Way of Moun-Ting the Great wall. Weather was unfortunately misty, and cloudy which was a bit of a shame but it did clear up later, and the wall looked mysterious as we walked as far along as we could. Most of it had been fully restored, but after a crazy end step situation we saw some of the original wall, which is much more rubbly than the pristine area we had walked along. Top of the wall is big enough to possibly drive a car down!

Our return to civilisation was by way of a Luge, where you sit on a personal toboggan, and go down a long metal half pipe to the bottom, good fun, exceptionally touristie, though David didn't fancy it and took the chair lift down even though I think he could do it free with his magic tourist guide pass. Went back to the city, and some yummy noodle based food, where Martin and Liz were late buying suitcase as they had horrendous taxi issues. Took public bus to a really good martial arts kung fu show, which was most excellent, unfortunately David looks quite ill. Hope he gets better.

30th July 2008

Went to the Yungang Caves before carrying on to Beijing, where some of the earliest Buddhist carvings in China are located. There are huge buddhas, tiny buddhas, and crazy buddhas in the 50 or so grottoes, though most of the impressive carvings are in the first 21. We spent a good time wandering around, taking photos and the such like, I think I may even have purchased some form of carbonated beverage. Afterwards we said our goodbyes to our mini-on-the-side guide Jenny and clambered majestically onto our train to Beijing, which awesomely was a soft sleeper for once, even though the trip was not in fact overnight, though I was a bit miffed as the other 4 were in 1 section and because of our crazy numbers I now was just with David. Ah well. We met some crazy Dutch lady in the carriage and we chatted for a while, though I think there were large periods of mistranslation between her and David, especially as he was trying to explain something guide related to her. Rest of journey we chilled with music and writing in my journal, though apparently in rather sparse detail, unless I was catching up with previous entries. On our arrival in foggy Beijing, we took 2 taxis to our hotel now that John and Jenny weren’t with us. Hotel was extremely nice, and after I threw my stuff in the twin room I had to myself (much luxury), I went down to the nice little coffee place they had in the foyer, and grabbed a coffee as you can see to your left, extremely strong but yummy. When we met for dinner I hadn’t finished it as it was very hot, so Charlotte polished it off. As Martin and Liz went off for a couple based dinner, Charlotte, David, Liz and Moi went to a cool cheap and phenomenally yummy pancake restaurant round the corner that David knew. The hotel’s surrounding area was very strange, almost west London like, very nice looking. The pancakes weren’t how you are probably imagining them to be, they were in fact indistinguishable to fried noodles, but tasted even more awesome. Then had an early night, where I must have done something productive, as that is indeed my special skill.

29th July 2008

Woke up moderately early as always, missed breakfast due to a short bout of unconsciousness and woke with only 10 min to spare. Got on bus that was to take us to Datong. Got stuck in traffic jam for ages, caused by some unknown incident. Had a toilet stop or two before arriving at the famous hanging monastery. Weather was great, like a warm British summer day. With cliffs either side of a medium sized river, the hanging monastery is attached to one of the sheer faces, supported by long, spindly stilts. And possibly some modern day bolts into the cliff. Still, it's fun as you clamber through small hatchways and sidle along ledges with small guide rails. The monastry itself has shrines to buddism, taosim and confucism, so it's a right old mix up, but as the LP says, it covers all bases.

We clambered back on our infinite bus and carried on, not getting into datong until 7pmish. In the entire bus journey, I managed to finish Polly Evans' Chopsticks with fried eggs (meg) and Arthur Conan Doyle's Hound of the Baskervilles (awesome). Had a break, shower, nice dinner in hotel and then wrote my journal for ages in my awesome room.

28th July 2008

Today we have mostly been visiting the Wang's residence, where all 100 million of the world's Wangs apparently originated. The Wang courtyard house consists of a labyrinth of 123 courtyards split into 2 main sections connected by a bridge. The new section is designed in the Chinese symbol for Wang, obviously much money had been made since their original bean curd business.

In the afternoon we visited on interesting newspaper museum, which showed a variety of local papers during some of the most momentous moments in Chinese History. We then walked to the Confucian Temple, which was a bit dull, checked out the very run down Catholic church and another close by temple before heading back to our cosy hotel and free wifi.

Had a cool dinner of that beef dish and cirspy onion. Yum in the face.

27th July 2008

Arrived in Pinyao and took a stretched golf cart into the centre of the walled old town. Our guesthouse is really nice and traditional, we ate a scrummy breakfast and gout our rooms. All double bed rooms, which was alright for me as I had the room to myself. We spent the day touring various government houses, the first bank in China, treasury, a cool money place and some residences, intermingled with drinks in a restaurant somewhere. Oh, and the first place was a prison, and we watched a performance that all the Chinese tourists ruined by getting on the stage to take photos and crowd the actors. We left in disgust. We also visited the town wall, though my leg was in quite a bit of pain by then and was glad we had no plans to walk it's circumference. I also bought some crazy spicy and sugary twirly snacks, 10 Yuan for 0.5kg! Also went to:

• Risengchang Financial House Museum
• Former Residence of Lei Lutai
• County Government Offices

By the end of the day we were shattered and my camera was full of many photos of cute animals we encountered on our way. Spent the evening eating awesome beef and potato based local favourite and chatted the night away.

26th July 2008

Up early to go and see the crazy terracotta warriors, built by the emperor Qin Shi Huang to serve him in the after life, it was only discovered by some farmers digging a crazy well. We initially saw a cheap alternative to Imax movie, which showed a rather good re-enactment of the army being built. While waiting, one of the only two of the remaining farmers came to sign books, and Martin and Lydia bribed him to get a photo with them, rather than get viciously battered away with a fan, as everyone else was. I bought a pepsi max and an ice cream instead.

On to the first pit, which resembles a huge aircraft hanger, and we came face to face with the warriors, all be it from quite a distance, I'm not really sure how to describe the whole experience, it's all very surreal. On the one hand, it's amazing to see the vast expanse of warriors, but then you couldn't see up close to notice each warrior's unique details or take interesting photos. Plus a lot is still uncovered or just earthly trenches, still a great experience though. The other two pits were similar one a small scale, and one had a few warriors in glass cabinets surrounded by flash happy tourists.

In a very dark building there were also 2 half scale chariots that had been pieced together. We didn't see the tomb of Qin Shi Huing as at the moment it isn't excavated mound, but it is thought to contain palaces and rivers of flowing mercury, along with all manner of Indiana Jones style defences against intruders. No such luck to see it though.

Bus back and then all went to the Muslim quarter to participate in a food kafuffle, where the girls got a road side veg pancake and I got a spicy meat metal tasting one. Very hot temperature style. David wanted a restaurant extravaganza though, so the lads followed him through a labyrinth of roads to a restaurant that was shut, so we then followed David blindly for a while, then he got us some bread type rolls, and found a butcher to throw raw cow in them. Needless to say, John was not impressed, I loved it and munched it down, and Martin was a soldier, even though he didn't like the concept, he still ate nearly all of it! I finished his off. Anyway, after that we met up with Liz and Lydia, as Martin had stolen their money, for a sneaky coffee. Martin and I went interneting while the other two got their nails shined or something.

Met later and went to a nice bar for a beer or two, then Charlotte, John and I found a nice little square where we watched some more tribal umbrella dances, checked out a very local night market, photographed Wal-mart and got some epic cheap croissants from Bread Talk. Charlotte and I bid our final farewells to John who was staying on in Xi'an to join a 5 month silk route truck based tour! All met up, met Jenny a trainee guide who would be with us till Da Tong, took bus to train station, plush lounge and then soft sleeper overnight to PinYao - I was abandoned in cabin with guides. Everyone hates me *sob*.

25th July 2008

Up and we all met up to bike the Xi'an city wall, except Lydia who was feeling pretty ill still, stomach hates her. The walls, built in 1370, are one of the few Chinese city walls still standing, though it looks vastly renovated/rebuilt. On commencing cycling however, we soon discovered it wasn't as smooth as we first anticipated, but it was an easy flat ride. A moat and a strip of park-land runs beside the wall, where many musicians, fan dancers, picnickers and badminton enthusiasts frolicked. after many photo stops, we had to rush back, as the morning heat began to rise, and to make it back within our 100 minute time limit, but overall it was still a very enjoyable and relaxing ride.

After a cheeky coffee extravaganza we perused the excellent market in the nearby Muslim quarter and found a restaurant where we were ushered upstairs. Without David, we floundered a bit in our attempts to order, but we all succeeded in ordering vast amounts. I got 10 chicken and shrimp dumplings for just 8 Yuan and, a beef and mushroom hotpot. The rest of the afternoon involved the buying of souvenirs such as a Mao book, postcards, extra strength tiger balm, and some magnets for mum. We also failed to go in a mosque as it cost to go in, looked too Chinese and was mostly cordoned off. Use the fastest and least censored net so far, met at hotel, returned to the Muslim quarter where we browsed until 11am and I got a special bread, toasted with loads of spice and beef kebab put in it. Mega delicious. Sleep

24th July 2008

Arrived in Xi'an in another predictable blaze of taxi shaped glory. Sorted our lives out then went to a restaurant called Nyu Fong, where we left our run-down back ally, to emerge 5 metres away in a huge modern square, with the bell and drum tower as centre pieces. We crossed the square past various Starbucks, KFCs, shopping centres, and utilised a very useful underground subway to cross a road to find our restaurant. Very nice and incredibly cheap food, and I do believe we got our old favourite Gun Pao chicken, as well as 6 Yuan beer.

After lunch, Liz and Lydia collapsed for sleep, Charlotte went back book hunting, and us lads grabbed a taxi to the Big Goose Pagoda, which was built in memory of the monk Xuan Zan, on which the famous Chinese story "Journey to the West" and indeed the many incarnations of the Monkey TV show (BBC version circa 1970s). Our lazy taxi driver dropped us in the scorching heat and haze the wrong side of a huge square (there are a lot of squares in china), so we trekked up and around to the front pagoda complex, passed a gaggle of crazy lunatic girls who seemed to think I was famous or the new messiah. The pagoda and the surrounding Da Ci'en Temple was average, little explanation was offered, the pagoda itself was off limits due to earthquake damage, most of the temple looked like it was built recently. Still it was interesting even if our photos were a bit hazy. After dithering a bit, we eventually forced ourselves to grab a taxi to the Shaanxii History Museum, that turned out to be free with a sneaky wave of a British Passport (or any passport). Not the best or most captivating of museums, but we were all shattered and it did have some terracotta warriors, though most were copies (as the British Museum and international community has temporarily stolen a few). The English explanations were a bit sparse compared to the far superior shanghai museum. After spending infinite time trying to a get a taxi, we made it back, we found out Lydia and Liz both woke up at 3ish to feel the room shaking, at which Liz hid under her duvet and Lydia unplugged the tele and leaped for a door frame. Later we discovered that there had been another 6.9 quake in Chengdu, and they must have felt it! I must admit my initial reaction was to claim Lydia was a crazed lunatic, though I do that at most opportunities regardless of situation.

Anyway, I spent 45 minutes rushing around, failing to find the net for Lydia, buying the worst headphones known to man, an SD card and a tuna panini, which I had difficulty procuring in a cold state. By this point I was a bit stroppy with the entire world, so initially I kept quiet when I met John and David to go to a cultural performance in case I was short with anyone, which would be hard for me here in Asia, haw haw (height joke)....

Anyway, off we trotted to the performance, where David abandoned us to see his mum (who is very ill with Parkinson's) and we were seated on a table with a French family, in a hall full of well dressed westerners. So we had a romantic dinner of popcorn and beers and watched the excellent dancing and musical performances that lit up the stage. Highlights included, a quirky man playing some kazoo-like invisible instrument, a percussion dialogue and a story told in silhouetted dance. On the walk back we spotted some excellent night time photo opportunities, including the city wall looking amazing and a huge crowd of people dancing randomly to tribal drums with umbrellas and feather fans. Crazy energy in the air, apparently to do with Harvest. Closing in on our hotel, we chatted with a guy about nothing in particular, while shielding our pockets from his son, took some photos of the drum and bell towers and marvelled at the huge telescopes in the square that for 10 Yuan you could apparently see some resemblance of Jupiter. With the naked eye, we couldn't see 1 star in the sky!

Sleep (mmm long entry)

23rd July 2008

Woke up early in an intriguing twist, moved bag to day room and then Charlotte and I made the long and rambling walk in the early morning heat to the Humble Administrator's garden. Successfully purchased tickets and spent a nice hour or so wandering around the rockeries, pagodas and water features, that were a bit same same. We only got roped into one photo extravaganza. After some confusion we found the entrance to the garden museum, which was a bit dull, outdated and full of old faded photos of the garden. By a random sequence of interconnected events we somehow found ourselves in a brand spanking new touch screen extravaganza of the same museum, entirely deserted but much better. Once more it turns out the garden was totally destroyed and it was all a remake AND the Dr Sun Yat-Sen garden in Vancouver, that I visited 4.5 months ago, was designed by the same person/team/company.

We meandered back through the back streets towards the city centre to meet Lydia in a random cafe. Did the normal coffee shenanigans, gossiping or whatever we do in caffeine fuelled, jazz environments. Decided on our fave noodle shop, after a quick shop in the slightly posh metromart, where I managed to get all manner of MSG containing foodstuffs. Ordered noodles via lonely planet Chinese character deduction and David texting the characters for the very option. Very nice, though nuclear heated as normal. Then bus->train, 16.44. Quiet boring, split into me David and John, and the others in separate compartment. But then kung fu hustle came on the TV and we watched it in between adverts.

22nd July 2008

Via nefarious methods we caught the local coach from the 'backdoor' of Zhouzhuong to Suzhou, and felt like we saw a bit of the real china, factories and the such like. Taxi to our very nice hotel, general showing palavers and then grabbed some insanely cheap and insanely yummy noodle-soup-beef-dumpling collaboration (9 Yuan!). David then viciously abandoned us, and we fended for ourselves, noting a costa coffee on the way, wandered to the 'must-see' silk museum. Which was pretty boring, but some parts were alright, we got to see some silkworms happily munching on some mulberry leaves, ignorant in the knowledge that once they get all cosy in a nice cocoon, they'll get boiled to death for the cocoon's silky goodness. We pranced around a bit in the silk shop before struggling through the baking heat to have a quick outside look at the famous pagoda (North Temple Pagoda) and then returned to the city centre to check out the dire Temple of Mysteries, surrounded by loads of shops, coca cola umbrellas and the golden arches. Swipped back to costa for lunch and vast amounts of Caffeine!

I stayed and chilled there, writing my journal and relaxing 'n' maxing until I decided to wander back to the hotel, but spotted David in our favourite noodle party shop. I said "Ni Hao" and got roped into getting an awesome prawn based version of the afformentioned dish. Then hotel to get bus to see the master of nets garden and night time dance/music/performance show. Very good, but hot and crowded. Home, sleep. WHAM.

21st July 2008

Woke up surprisingly refreshed and we waited until the train arrived to get off, as is the natural thing to do. Then participated in a 10min bag laden stroll in furnace-like heat to the local bus station, grabbed the 09:50 Suzhou -> Zhouzhuang bus, I bounced around the back, swimming in Charlotte's tea. At the othe rend we had a long furnace walk, with a break in for David to grab our tickets for the old town. Which gave John a chance for a little heat induced rant. Walked through the very nice and clean old town streets to our world heritage hotel, Liz and Martin got a very nice poster bed. We showered and refridgerated our souls. Had an awesome lunch, pork upper leg and a variety of dishes and mega cheap beer. Bonus points. Met David to explain the city, visited a few residences and gardens and a temple or two. Extremely hot, and at one point David led us down a fish lined street, causing poor Lydia to get into a frightful state, only for us to arrive at a fish garden.

Pretty shattered in the arvo, so Martin found a Majong set from reception, and Lydia, Liz Martin and I played in the semi-outside courtyard, Martin once more failing to win and getting frustrated with Liz's game antics much to everyone's amusement. We also found out some of Liz's shocking teaching shinanigins.

In the evening we returned to the same restuarent as it was awesome and I ate far too much by any standards. John showed off the bone and bamboo Majong set he bought for 150, with a very nice case. Gentle walk back through very quiet streets, canals looked beautiful, like a tiny venice. All the time practicing our greetings:

Zhou shan hao - Good Morning
Shou wu hao - Good Afternoon
wu shan hao - Good Evening
Ni hao - Hello

or something along those lines

20th July 2008

Up mega early as John and Martin went to crazy (and pants) sunrise. Was awake so went to internet at 7am. Noodles. Met fools. Weather cleared and we began our crazy descent down mountain, vast amounts of steps, guys carrying up furniture, exposed tofu and buildings on their backs. John and David got left behind as we all scampered hardcore style. Bought some Dove chocolate on the way for energy. Finally, hit bottom and collected bags and laundry. Private bus then took us to Tunxi, where guys got oily and salty noodles, hunted for chargers, top ups and vitamins. Got back and showered in our day room (in a purely glass shower), and then chilled in bar downstairs.

Went for a nice emo walk along the river, marvelling at the multicoloured pretty lights that lined the river banks and waterfront buildings. Walked back through town to the screams of Brand New and met the guys in our day room. Then Bus->Train Station->Train->Split up->Rice->Blam, Wham, thank you ma'am.

19th July 2008

Today, we woke up, and I ate an apple and maybe some noodles. After which, we met the rest of our crazy band of lunatics, and our laundry was't ready, so we safely left our bags in the front entrance. Then we walked to the shuttle station, where, via a series of ludicras multiple ticket shenanigans, we got on our cable car to heaven. Mist central. We then walked over the mist covered peaks of Huang Shan, beautiful but no views, and arrived at our 4 star hotel, perched high up in the clouds. Rested and ate crap for a while, before conquering some more peaks, with better views including the North Sea. Returned and had some noodles, followed by a mini hall party, and watched some very bad indian tele. Early sleep.

18th July 2008

Late get up, then 5ish hour bus ride to Hangshou mountain. On the way our engine overheated, resulting in a fountain of boiling water in the bus. Good Fun! We also weren't allowed in the national park due to a permit issue, so we had to get on a public coach that whipped crazy style round the windy, but brand new, roads. Hotel was very nice but pretty dull. Found 2 beers that weren't frozen/warm, which we had outside the Karaoke bar. After a quick word with a hotel woman about our laundry, she said that a group of chinese guys would pay our Karaoke bar entrance fee and beers if we went in. The night then spiralled out of control as a drunk Chinese man kept forcing us to down glasses of beer, culminating in Lydia claiming she was pregnant to prevent drinking anymore, the guy threatening to bop me on the nose if I didn't drink, all the time seeming not to understand we couldn't speak Chinese. Our final soltuion? To break out into insane techno dancing, which succeeded in confusing him and he was eventually escorted out. So we sidled out and ran to our rooms to call it a night. I drank lots of water and was happy I had survived.

17th July 2008

Begin the day with an amazingly large buffet breakfast, which I devoured. We met our extremely bubbly and enthusiastic local guide, Amanda, who would turn out to be our best so far. Our first port of call was the west lake itself, where we waited in slight disarray, while loads of Chinese people wanted to talk to me because, according to Amanda, I, or my hair, looked like a "playboy" from Veronica Mars.

The boat ride was nice, shame it was so misty though, Amanda said it's amazing in the spring. Still, we saw the 3 artificial islands, the famous water based pagodas, and a number of other pagodas on the surrounding mountains/hills. Our next destination was the largest Buddhist temple in China, oh and my jandals imploded much to my despair, so I wore David's. We learnt a lot about buddism, the various Buddhas, some cool cave carvings and I confirmed that I was born in the year of the OX, like my star sign, kinda. So apparently I'm stubborn squared. Or something.

We went to a farmers house for lunch, wher we somehow again managed to get a chicken smashed with a hammer. Not amused. Rest of food was nice though. Utilising the power of group decisveness, we went to a tea plantation where we got to try their finest tree for free. The Queen has had it, don't ya know. Unsurprisingly, Liz and Martin were persuaded to buy vast quantities of tea and we ran away stealthy style. Our final destination was the _____ Pagoda, which has been destroyed and rebuilt a total of 16 times. Its main prupose is to supress the dragon in the west lake, which is always a good thing. Unless it is a friendly dragon. With cooking abilities. Anyway, John, Martin and I bust up the pagoda for quite a nice view of the lake and city. Finally, we returned to the Braim Hotel and said our overally sentimental goodbyes to Amanda, who was awesome the whole time, though everyone else though she had a 'thing' for me. Due to some positive hair and teeth comments. In the evenign we went back to our favourite noodle restaurent, raided the supermarket for food supplies for the next 2 days up Hangshou. I spent about 140 yuan but did get two packets of hob nobs and some sardines!

Wandered back to hotel and participated in general kung fu searching on TV.

16th July 2008

Today I have mostly not been stationary at an early hour. Up at 6 to take a taxi to wait ages at train station for a train to Hangzhou. Not sure if I wrote the right place there, it's wherever the famous west lake is. Spent time on the train utilising the lava water and the very large seatback table to catch up with my journal. Sort of. I also drew a pirate.

Arrived in one piece after buying a wind up style torch, for 10 yuan! Bonus. Obviously Martin bought most of the man's shop, including a musical gyroscope that was expertly demonstratted. Hotel is extreme luxury, so we dumped stuff off, showered and then all met to find a Starbucks or generic alternative. Hot, lond walk ish. Near lake front. Big mocha and quiche. Poured outside. Waited. Still hot, Charlotte, Lydia and I walked around the West Lake front and lotus flowers. Melted. Went to Watsons, and then went on a long walk, via cash machines, to Foreign Languages Bookshop - massive. Amazing cafe at the top. Coffee and beef and mushroom rice. Hote walk back, and got ready. Very nice noodle restaurant, famous for helping a scholar. Very cheap beer (7) and prawn+pork noodles. YUM.

Then went to a night market while busting for the loo, and was tempted by a Hancock DVD. Didn't buy it so we went home and slept.

15th July 2008

Decided on a late wake up, met at 9 for a costa related coffee explosion. Enough caffiene to wipe out most countries. We decided our best course of action was taking the metro to Lucy Lui Street, where we could find the maglev station. The maglev connects Shanghai to Padong airport via a high speed train that hovers on magnets. Distance of around 30 km is covered in 6-8 minutes, reaching speeds of 431kph(300mph). As our resident trains potter, Martin was exceptionally excited, as was I as I tend to be about most rubbish. Return was only 80, and we zapped there and back insanely quick, with awesome banking at the curves. Inside the trains are quite plush and not overally crowded. Afer a short physics lesson, I convinced everyone that if you jumped the train wouldn't move under you, resulting in you smashing against the back wall. Afterwards Martin, John, Liz and I checked out the cheap (5) and good museum, where I completed some computer game where you have to rebuild a train.

Our next port of call was a long wander through various sky scrapers to the Chinese Sex Museum, which was a glammed up cereamics gallery. Next we took the mysterious Bund sightseeing tunnel, to the other side of the river. It was pretty bad, as you take a slow train module through a fairy light decorated, apparently brain warping, tunnel. After escaping, we fanned out and Charlotte and I got a very nice and healthy lunch in the Mojo cafe before finding the foreign languagtes bookshops and investing in some words of modern day literary genius. We wandered through the blistering heat to Regent's Park and finally to the Shanghai Art Musuem, which only contained European impressionism, which we skilled and fell into the Museum of COntemporary Art instead, rather good really, though had a bit too many art-videos which I find a bit wishy washy. Bring on Brick anyday. After discovering a cafe I could never afford, or be allowed into, we staggered back home nad got ready for the evening.

Via a chance meeting with David in the lift, he helped us to the hugh Jin Mao tower, unfortunately through the sightseeing tunnel again, as we had got return trickets. Tower was very busy but contained spectacular views of the city and was next to a huge tower that looked like a bottle opener. As normal, all the chinese tourist appeared more interested in taking photos of us rather than the view. Rather than torturing our central nervous system anymore, we took the 2 yuan ferry across teh river to admire the Bund at night. David then bundled us into two very confused taxis and we went to Vegetarian Style Life restuarant, via many red lights and death hazards. David even called as he was worried about us. Good food, we just got a big selection, no meat or alcohol, though we suspect the use of chicken stock. Metro back and sleep.

14th July 2008

• Up early for a costa breakfast (Massive black coffee)
• Meet up with David, extremely hot walk to shang hai musuem
• Massive queue, queue jumped behind another pre-booked group
• Cool museum, very arty. Calligraphy, minority dressed, coin collection.
• Ice coffee.
• Very hot, walk down Nanjing East street to the Bund for an amazing view of the skyline and crazy TV tower.
• Melted, then went to Yuyuan Bazaar, lots of old style, new shops. Largest privated owned Buddhist temple in china.
• Still mind bendingly hot. Liz and Martin got name stamps.
• Desweated.
• Met later, not John though due to minor heat stroke.
• Took metro to Acrobats
• AMAZING!
• Hoop jumping, rope craziness hat lunacy, balance shenanigans, cycling bonanza, candle balancing madness and finished with motorbike wall of death.
• Martin bought DVD.
• Home.
• Went on internet. Blam.
  

13th July 2008

• Up earlyish, Only the 3 lads at brekkie.
• Off boat. Bust to the 3 gorges Dam
• Misty. Bit dull. Model. Various sculptures including a huge book.
• Went closer to Dam
• Cool celebratory garden, big diggers and tunnel. Scuptures and best view of the dam.
• Then drove to airport via Yichang for lunch which had basically been smashed with a mallet then drowned in 2000 chillis.
• Chilled in airport. Quick flight, then bus to very nice shanghai hotel.
• Walked down the main strip. Pretty. Had a cheeky pizza in pizza hut!
• Internet was very stupid as you need your passport and many sites like facebook were blocked.
• Shanghai is awesome though, pretty lights everywhere
  

12 July 2008

• Mega Early Up
• Fought Chinese for breakfast. Very nice Dumplings
• Transfer to smaller boat, along a gorge
• Extremely misty but very pretty gorges
• Transferred to a tiny boat just for us + Lauren's group, rowed by some dudes, against stream
• At a rough part they dragged us by rope, but not before passing round firewater and loads of chinese peeps photographing us.
• After short drag, they turned us around and we zoomed back down stream, our western weight helping us along.
• Our local guide sung a few traditional songs to us.
• Back track to big boat. Sleep in the arvo
• Dinner
• David taught us Marjong. Me and Lydia on 1 team, and were awesome.
• Retired to bar area as cooler
• Watched a performance of dance
• Beer. David did Karaoke, and a random lady went up halfway through and helped him. He is the ladies man indeed. Awesome.
• Some weird musical chair game with Jackie Chan (or at least Lauren's group's guide)
• Bit of beer and dancing. Suddenly all the Chinese vanished.
• Sleep.
  

11th July 2008

• Bus to Yichang and big lunch in a hotel
• Wandered around. Coffee. Supermarket.
• Back to hotel, bus to 3 gorges and boat.
• 244 steps down to a very empty boat. Think were were very early. Very misty.
• Room was awesome for a boat, private bathroom, and a TV etc.
• Not sure if we had food, but we had a few beers in Liz and Martin's room. Lauren appeared for a bit.
  

Thursday 10th July 2008

• Cookery course
• Went to the market, which had dogs (blowtorched, some alive in tiny cages, and half of a dog's head on a table), pig tongues and snouts, chicken feet etc. Lots of veg. Our chef lady bought supplies and explained the various foods.
• Back to restaurant
  

Cooked:
* Gun Pou Chicken (Peanuts)
* Pork dumplings (I wasn't too great at their presentation)
* Veg and Noodles

• We got cool chef hats and aprons, and a HUGE knife.
• Liz and Charlotte cooked a veg selection, including awesome deep friend eggplant.
• Was surprisingly nice and I ate far too mcuh.
• Short break, coffee + cafe. Hot.
• Calligraphy lesson
• Learnt numbers 1-10. Progression of characters Wood>Tree>Forest.
• Wrote my name, which translated to Basic, Success, Kind.
  
• Everyone else's was way better

Liz: White Beautiful Lady Nice
Martin: Success, Clever
Lydia: Wealth, Wisdom
Charlotte: Summer, Water, Knowledge

• Took a private bus to station and then the overnight train to somewhere near the 3 gorges and the Yangzi river. Nice again. Good sleep.
  

Wednesday 9th July 2008

• No surprises that we were up early again.
• This was mainly for our Tai chi lesson, that was pretty good, and taught us the correct way to hold watermelons.
• Hired bikes and a local guide to cycle to moonhill.
• Very scenic, paddy fields and mini-mountains.
• I had an awesome red and yellow mountain bike, lydia and charlotte had crazy pink girlie bikes.
• Big River.
• Reached moon hill then had insane climb to the top
• 'step to the moon'
• Loads of wet, slippery steps. Was shattering. Old women followed us all the way up trying to sell things.
• Finally got to top without death. Very sweaty. Lauren and group were at the top. Big natural rock arch, looks like a crescent moon from below. We rested a while.
• Headed back down. I went down chattering inanely to an old chinese woman, as I was worried I would "jandal-slip" to death. She offered to hold my hand all the way down, and thought Charlotte was my wife. Nope impressed when we didn't buy anything from her at the end!
• Ate awesome meal cooked by farmer's family, big shovvling of food situation. Then it poured with torrential rain.
• Double ponchoed up. Charlote got a flat tire. Cute dog and ducks at fixing place, probably for eating.
• May have eaten Beer Fish. Slight situation with Lydia being petrified of fish.
• In evening saw amazing light show designed by same guy as the Beijing Olympic ceremony. Better than Disney.
• EPIC.
  

Tuesday 8th July

• Arrived in Yangshuo
• Sort life and soul out
• Walked around town and grabbed lunch
• Bus down to river for river cruise on smallish boat
• As we got on, HUGE thunderstorm erupted, the very fabric of this ethereal world shook around us!
• Front window of the boat swung shut and smashed over David!
• Hard to see much, but there was nice scenery somewhere
• Various boat leaks
• Went ashore, old village/hamlet. Temple
• Short hike to 3 coloured pools. Only saw one because of rain, it was of the infamous colour "murky".
• Cobbled streets and classic chinese architecture provided a very slippery environment. Lydia's flip flops broke and David came to the rescue.
• Nice views from top. Very long boat trip back
• In the evening went to see the fisherman fish with cormorants.
• Tie off their necks, so they can't swallow the big fish, and so they swim close to the boat and dive under to grab fish. They seemed happy enough as they were eating just about all the fish anyway, or had indeed learned to just go for the small fish.
• Dude let one sit on my arm. Only got 2 fish between 8 birds, mainly because of their hungry hungry tummies.
• Ate a nice dinner at the Movie Cafe Blues
• They sold dog and bamboo rat but was insanely expensive in relation to everything else. Very nice local beer though and our beds were comfy.
  

7th July 2008

• Lydia, Charlotte, John and I woke up earlish and made our way to the Avenue of Stars
• Fell into the Pacific Coffee Company. Mocha, ham/cheese croissant, coffee.
• General chatting and free internet use.
• Picked up laundry from Chumpking mansions.
• Sorted my toiletry situation, though shop had nothing that men could use to clean themselves. VO5 shampoo it is.
• Back to hotel. Lauran's group there. They crammed 9 in 2 taxis, but we put 6 in 3! Lunacy.
• MRT to border. Bust through border control, though Charlotte was held at passport control for ages.
• Waited a while in train station, then we were in China!!
• On train. Very nice. Frilly. 6 bed. Chat to guy who let David have the bed near us.
• Lights out at 10! Had surprisingly nice pot noodle alternative. All got caught out by lights off time.
• Kids crazy. I had the middle bed and could stretch legs out partially into the aisle. Very comfy duvet.
  

Sunday 6th July 2008

• Ellen & Harriot said goodbye.
• Bust out and bumped into Lauren outside lift.
• Both starving so we hit up Irish pub
• Underground, uber nice. Guinness and steak pie!!!
• Got my local payment. Max out bank.
• Taxis avec Charlotte and Lauren to new hotel @ 12.
• Very swanky. TV, Sofa, Awesome. Roommate not there yet.
• Walked in rain quite a distance down Nathan street to find Toilet cafe.
• Awesome.
• Seats are toilets, urinals on walls a decoration, food came in toilets, yummy and cheap.
• Humourous poo lights and souvenirs. Great find, courtesy of Charlotte's cafe 6th sense.
• Afterwards I found crazy hairdresser, not much English, had hair washed and not too crazy cut, with layers apparently. Only 90 HKD.
• Tried to meet Charlotte in Temple Street, drowned. Very wet, Hotel. Watched American Dragon. Met John. Safe.
• Met group, cool, meeting, David is our guide and seems good
• Went for dinner. Yummy Udon noodles again.
• Wandered streets a bit, stock up on food, slept.
  

5th July 2008

• Faffed loads in the morning.
• Took metro to Admiral, got lost.
• Went in the posh Palace Shopping Mall, where there was a tuxed out guy on the piano
• Walked to and through the very nice Hong Kong park, which had many a water feature.
• Got to peak tram station, skipped the huge line with my octupus card.
• After the insanely steep train ride, got to the top, scampered up loads of escalators.
• Amazing views of Hong Kong and surrounding area. Very hot.
• Generally wandered around Central and the IPC.
• Went back after food and failing to see a film at the cinema, so admired my blonde hair, which is crazy and slept.
  

4th July 2008

• Up. Internet. Food.
• Wander to dock
• Offered drugs as normal.
• Nice dock.
• Walked along the Avenue of Stars, enjoying the skyline of Hong Kong Island.
• Went in the art museum, a bit empty, but was a cool exhibition on modern digital art and I scammed the woman into giving me a student admission.
• Carried on along Avenue of Stars, cool statues related to film and Bruce Lee.
• Lots of famous Chinese and Hong Kong movie stars, and cement hand imprints. Jet Li, Jackie Chan, John Woo, Chow Yung Fat.
• Pacific Coffee Company!
• Mongkok. Wander around. Got a bit lost.
• Crappy computer shopping centre
• Buy cool dual sim phone. K-Touch D770
• Meet girlies, and went to a Cat Cafe. Took forver to get cookie and hot chocolate, not great and expensive. But there were cats all over the place, scratching up the leather furniture.
• Went to get visa. Woo! Got it. So did Charlotte.
• Met others for a beer on Avenue of Stars. Sunset.
• Wedges. Light show to music. Okay, and little band playing on the front.
• Went to crappy restaurant.
• Soho for a drink or two.
• Slept.
  

3rd July 2008

In an unsure state of mind (slightly panicing), I got up early and found the internet again, possibly booked a flight and my accommodation, though visa website scared me with no same day visas. Checked out and then tried to find some way to get to the ferry terminal. The hotel guy was my saviour once more, and after failing to get a taxi he took me to where the casinos have free shuttles to their locations, so I hopped into the Sands bus. After a medium boiling walk to the terminal past a number of amazing casinos, some in the shape of volancos and castle, I grabbed some sarnies and bought tickets to Kowloon. Waited in the “departure” lounge after being allowed through passport control. The ferry was quite fast to Hong Kong and I was on the top deck, mostly to myself, though they food people wouldn't take Macau money.

Arrived, with slight confusion, and took a taxi to Chumpking mansions. Urgh. Apparently I didn't have a reservation, and was giving some form of converted janitors cupboard in Tom's Guesthouse not much wider than my armspan. Stormed out, eventually found a net cafe to print out all my Chinese details, including a possible forgery of my departing flight confirmation. In the Visa agent I had to pay £156 to get my visa ready in time, though I did help her with her LG viewty, so I think she thought I was alright after initial reservations. Grabbed the awesome tube system to central, and ate Pret a Manger. mmmm. Met Holly and Lauren, had drinkies and got to finally relax after a large amount of stress and anxiety. Said bye bye, went to a big shopping centre called IPF or IPC. Shops, food and Pacific Coffee Company. Faffed, I regret I had Maccy D's, went back home to sleep and die a little bit.

2nd July 2008

Possibly the most tiring, hectic and crazy airport tomfoolery to date, after spending the night on a night train from Sapa, which felt like the equivalent of trying to sleep in the Antarctic during a 9.0 rated earthquake, Steph and I arrived in Hanoi. After saying our goodbyes, I got in a taxi, only to discover you need to show your train ticket on exiting the train station. Failing to find Steph who had our tickets, I had to bribe the woman at the gate with 15,000 dong. Trying to relax on the way, I couldn't get any of the seat belts to do up and the meter was going up at an alarming rate. Finally arrived, paid far too much and had no money left, bust out 100,00 from a cash point, then discovered I couldn't check in yet (as it was 5.30am) and nothing was open. Vegetated for a while.

At 6am the “lucky restaurant” opened up, and I got glared at viciously and was seemingly told how I should eat my chicken, pork and noodle soup. Coffee was like tar. Tar of death. Check in appeared to be open, queued and nothing happened for a while, then when I reached the desk, my bag was apparently 2kg over, even though it was the same weight as last time I flew air Asia. She initially tried to convince me to take 2kg out, but I had no idea where I would put it, so I had to pay $5 per kg. Obviously I didn't have enough, so had to use the ATM, which was now broke, so panicking slightly, I went for my emergency $100 bill. But couldn't find my padlock key, this kids, is why you should never lose your combination lock.

After a few minutes of emptying my day bag all over the terminal, I found the key, stormed back to the check in counter and slammed down my passport and money. Sorted it, bust on upstairs to a café that had internet and tried to book my Japan flight with not much luck. Went to security check, where the guy wouldn't believe I was the person in my passport and had to get another guy, who I had to lift up my flowing locks to, to reveal my facial features. Surprisingly, I wasn't frisked and walked into the mostly empty departure lounge, where I remembered I was lacking any North Vietnam magnets, so exchanged some dollar for goods, and asked when flight boarding was, flashing my Xpress boarding ticket.

Sat down smugly while everyone else was forming a massive queue and then had awesome rock star treatment as air hostess invited just me to get on the plane, so I walked past the line with a triumphant smirk. Plane ride was fine, slight nap, then chatted to an American girl while filling in my departure card wrong. More dollar was spent on baguette and P-Max.

Arrived safely and got all baggage easily, then spent the next 6 hours, eating pad thai, drinking starbucks, wandering, being charged for 3kg over the limit, writing my journal, marvelling at the departure side stops and using the very cheap internet booths. I think our plane was delayed, I got the superstar treatment again, used my special power that stops people sitting next to me and ate a surprisingly nice chicken fried rice with P-Max. Landed in Macau, bust on through, got a taxi from a guy who knew no Englsh, but got to hotel alright. Very posh looking hotel. Spent hours trying ti find an internet café via the reception dude's very vague directions of swimming his arm in a 60degree arc and telling me to walk for 2 minutes. Was no use anyway, the places that had internet I thought were just arcades for the first 2 hours. They turned out to be underground dens of 200 computers with loads of teens in their all night.

I spent the time there basically panicking as I couldn't book a flight out of china and all info pointed towards I Was screwed to get my visa in time. I decided to collapse in a bath and ignore my lack of dinner before hitting the sack at 1.30am.

1st July 2008

• Woke up not too bad, huge breakfast. Ham and Cheese croissant, and omellette.
• Debs and I met our dude and driver. Mini Van to ourselves
• Scenic drive up to Thun Tui pass
• Stopping everyone now and then for photo ops.
• At top got out with bikes and began sailing down mountain.
• Awesome roads. Amazing scenery, very wet.
• Began to freeze, soaked, got back in van.
• Turned up in town, looked around market, got a poncho, wet.
• Dude smoke tobacco out of crazy pipe.
• Went to a small road and took bike down paddy fields.
• Manic water buffalo. Meep.
• Kids laugh at me. "How many 100kgs does he weight?"
• Cycle across bridge down crazy mud slope and stream.
• Cycled up a hill for very pretty view.
• Down to village, saw house.
• Women hounded debs to buy skirt
• Cycle back.
• Lunch on bus back
• Waterfall
• Back. Shower. Sad Goodbye
• Bus. Train. Death.